You don't know what you want. You don't know what the fuck you even want. Your thoughts skip like stones effortlessly across your mind, barely leaving ripples behind them. The dark water beneath them remains still, untouched, undisturbed. Fathomless, empty, and yet still full to the brim, and so, so black. There are nightmares there. It wants to ( Read more... )

This is what it is like to be so scared for so long that you don't know what to do when it looks like it will be alright. You become scared out of habit, needing constant reminders that you can now not be afraid. You find new reasons to fit your old terror, justification which is easier, somehow, than just letting yourself breathe ( Read more... )

You grit your teeth and try not to, but you feel betrayed. Your mood is instantly gone. You are instantly scared. Your eyes well up as you stare blankly at your white ceiling. You are a thousand times greatful that your stomach is empty ( Read more... )

I hide my teeth behind my lips as a habit, now. In twenty days, it will be three years since my 'first kiss'. Since my uncontrollable blushing and my nervous chatter, since I let this man into my life. And with my permission, he laid down the law ( Read more... )

In bed, I can't stop touching him. My hands are hyperkinesthetic, from shoulder to wrist, skipping to fingertips then jumping to his hips. I lock my arms behind his waist and push myself into him so hard that we might fuse into one being. He gives me his profile and the light reflects off the falling snow outside. I cannot help myself. I smear the ( Read more... )