Idiot's Guide to Washing your Cat
Day 21
Weight: 215 lbs
Thought for the Day: What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger
A friend of mine at work is taking 2 months off to write an Idiot's Guide to String Theory. I will not get into an explanation of String Theory, I think I'll leave that to Newton, Einstein and all the other people serious about it. But it did inspire me in a way to write my own Idiot's Guide you see Rose has been reminding me for a couple of weeks now that we need to wash our cat Sebastian. Anyone who owns a cat knows how hard this ordeal is and to make matters worse he hasn't been fed any real meat in three weeks so the little guy is just waiting to dish out some hurtin. We stopped by on the way home from work to grocery shop and Rose bought him some beef, I can't believe she did this, so while I was upstairs facing armageddon in the bathtub delicious, succulant beefy smells were wafting up form the kitchen. A big tease for sure.
Back to the Idiots Guide ~ I have found that there is no good way to wash a cat but the best approach invovles a high degree of sneak and quickness. Any notion that he's getting bathed and the cat shoots under the bed and trying to get him out of there is like playing handball with a porcupine. Despite holding no advantage in speed or agility I do have an advantage of size and protection.
1. The Equipment. While the cat is sleeping idlely downstairs it's important to get all the necessary equipment: cat shampoo, wash towel, big towels, protecting gloves (and preferably a ski mask, flak jacket and wellington boots). All this needs to be within arms reach or worn before you give any hint that a washing is going to happen.
2. The Water. Put hot water into the bath, by the time you have the cat ready to almost go into the bath it will be luke warm.
3. The Grab. You only get one chance to grab the cat, the element of surprise is critical. Otherwise pinning all of it's four talons to it body and completely immobolize it will be a forlorn hope. I wouldn't reccommend two people since they get in the way of eachother, hesitation is lethal. (remember to have on all the protection).
4. The Bathroom. I hurrying the cat as quickly as possible to the bathtub. Don't throw it in cause then you are really going to hurt. But place it in very quickly and shut the doors at lightning speed. Don't bother trying to we the cat since in the first 20 seconds the cat will try and climb the glass doors and will inevitably fall back into the water, wetting itself. It will then stand there tricking you into opening the door, if you do so you have to block the whole door and be prepared for the animal to climb (however it can and using all of your body parts) over you and to freedom. This is diasterous if this happens! Speed is of the esence!
5. The Shampoo. Shampoo very quickly always using one hand to pin the cat and the other to lather up quickly (if you use both hands see the end of point 4). It's an easy mistake to make for a beginner.
6. The Dry Cycle. Drying the cat is the hardest part. Many people overlook this fact and that's where sloopiness leads to fatalities. I would suggest putting a towel on the floor and a towel in your hands and smothering the cat before it has a chance to move. (note: make sure the bathroom door is closed or else you will be playing with a wet porcupine under your bed). Once the cat looks kinda dry release and run before it is able to get its bearings. No matter what you do now the cat hates you for the next day anyways.
7. The Bribe. Which leads me to the meat part of the journal log. We brided Sebastian with a plate of chopped up beef, his hunger was greater than his hatred and he soon forgot the Tub of Hades. When we fed Anastasia he barged past her and finished her plate of meat too. Content he then retreated to the couch to clean himself, I hope I was able to wash off all the shampoo or else he will be puking it all back up while we lie asleep in our bed.
Sebastian at the Kitchen Post, Pre-Bath, Waiting for Food
Sebastian enticed by the bath tub
Sebastian the Drowned Rat!
Where's the Beef!?
Sebastian and his meat!
Hand fed by Rose!
Certainly this is a tale of the good, the bad and the ugly!
On a very happy note I just found out that I will Uncle to my second nephew! Yay!
Weight: 215 lbs
Thought for the Day: What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger
A friend of mine at work is taking 2 months off to write an Idiot's Guide to String Theory. I will not get into an explanation of String Theory, I think I'll leave that to Newton, Einstein and all the other people serious about it. But it did inspire me in a way to write my own Idiot's Guide you see Rose has been reminding me for a couple of weeks now that we need to wash our cat Sebastian. Anyone who owns a cat knows how hard this ordeal is and to make matters worse he hasn't been fed any real meat in three weeks so the little guy is just waiting to dish out some hurtin. We stopped by on the way home from work to grocery shop and Rose bought him some beef, I can't believe she did this, so while I was upstairs facing armageddon in the bathtub delicious, succulant beefy smells were wafting up form the kitchen. A big tease for sure.
Back to the Idiots Guide ~ I have found that there is no good way to wash a cat but the best approach invovles a high degree of sneak and quickness. Any notion that he's getting bathed and the cat shoots under the bed and trying to get him out of there is like playing handball with a porcupine. Despite holding no advantage in speed or agility I do have an advantage of size and protection.
1. The Equipment. While the cat is sleeping idlely downstairs it's important to get all the necessary equipment: cat shampoo, wash towel, big towels, protecting gloves (and preferably a ski mask, flak jacket and wellington boots). All this needs to be within arms reach or worn before you give any hint that a washing is going to happen.
2. The Water. Put hot water into the bath, by the time you have the cat ready to almost go into the bath it will be luke warm.
3. The Grab. You only get one chance to grab the cat, the element of surprise is critical. Otherwise pinning all of it's four talons to it body and completely immobolize it will be a forlorn hope. I wouldn't reccommend two people since they get in the way of eachother, hesitation is lethal. (remember to have on all the protection).
4. The Bathroom. I hurrying the cat as quickly as possible to the bathtub. Don't throw it in cause then you are really going to hurt. But place it in very quickly and shut the doors at lightning speed. Don't bother trying to we the cat since in the first 20 seconds the cat will try and climb the glass doors and will inevitably fall back into the water, wetting itself. It will then stand there tricking you into opening the door, if you do so you have to block the whole door and be prepared for the animal to climb (however it can and using all of your body parts) over you and to freedom. This is diasterous if this happens! Speed is of the esence!
5. The Shampoo. Shampoo very quickly always using one hand to pin the cat and the other to lather up quickly (if you use both hands see the end of point 4). It's an easy mistake to make for a beginner.
6. The Dry Cycle. Drying the cat is the hardest part. Many people overlook this fact and that's where sloopiness leads to fatalities. I would suggest putting a towel on the floor and a towel in your hands and smothering the cat before it has a chance to move. (note: make sure the bathroom door is closed or else you will be playing with a wet porcupine under your bed). Once the cat looks kinda dry release and run before it is able to get its bearings. No matter what you do now the cat hates you for the next day anyways.
7. The Bribe. Which leads me to the meat part of the journal log. We brided Sebastian with a plate of chopped up beef, his hunger was greater than his hatred and he soon forgot the Tub of Hades. When we fed Anastasia he barged past her and finished her plate of meat too. Content he then retreated to the couch to clean himself, I hope I was able to wash off all the shampoo or else he will be puking it all back up while we lie asleep in our bed.
Sebastian at the Kitchen Post, Pre-Bath, Waiting for Food
Sebastian enticed by the bath tub
Sebastian the Drowned Rat!
Where's the Beef!?
Sebastian and his meat!
Hand fed by Rose!
Certainly this is a tale of the good, the bad and the ugly!
On a very happy note I just found out that I will Uncle to my second nephew! Yay!