More good things
It's been over two weeks since my last post, and I have more good things to report!
The best of which is that we've finally replaced the Blazer. We still have it as a back up, but I'm thinking about doing some work on it and trying to sell it. Either way, what we have now is absolutely amazing! Leia and I haven't been this excited about anything in ages. We shopped around and found what we believe to be an outstanding deal. I'm hoping that in five years I look back on this in a favorable light. Only time will tell. I do know, however, that our new truck has a Blue Book value of $15,000 and we got it for $9,000. It was priced at over $35,000 new! It's a 2004 Dodge Durango Limited which is the absolute top of the line model. It has every option available. Heated leather seats, six disc CD/MP3 player, radio controls on the steering wheel, all power seats, keyless entry, power sun roof, towing package, 4X4, running boards, cruise, infinity sound system, DVD player with remote, third row seating.. it has everything! It also has a 5.7L Hemi engine that can give a stock mustang a run for it's money. I can't believe that we were so fortunate. A vehicle that has all of the luxuries of a top of the line mini-van like Leia wanted, all of the rugged capabilities of an SUV like I wanted, enough room to fit all of our friends and my grandpa (seven people), AND 335 horses that can bring it from 0-60 in less than eight seconds. That's pretty amazing for a vehicle that weighs over three tons and can tow just about anything. And it looks sweet as hell! It's a blast to drive. It's by far the nicest vehicle we've ever owned. I feel like we've earned it. We certainly didn't rush into it, we checked it out over three weeks and two price drops. Don't ask about gas mileage.
I seriously need to get to sleep because I need to be to work in seven hours and I need to take a shower in the morning. I wrote an e-mail to my mom earlier this evening and I'm going to post it here. I hope it doesn't upset her too badly, but I needed to get some things off my chest. Here it is.
First I want to start off by saying Happy Birthday again! It's a big one too! I'm really glad I've been able to spend at least some time with you lately. Now that we have the new truck hopefully we'll be able to take you some places with us sometime!
I'm afraid the rest of the letter isn't going to be what either of us would like it to be. I'm going to apologize in advance if I hurt your feelings. I think you're an awesome mom and an awesome grandma and I don't want you to take any of this the wrong way. You've done a really good job.
That being said, and because I do love you so much, I'm going to be brutally honest about a few things. Honesty is always the best policy. You taught me that. Maybe sometimes it's best to sugar-coat it a bit.
I really didn't intend to write this letter to you on your birthday. I was thinking about it all morning on the drive to Indiana though and I need to get it off my chest.
We are coming to a point where we definitely need to decide where we are going to live our lives. Once we get the mortgage it's too late to change our minds without major complications. Mortgage does literally translate, from Latin, into "death grip" after all.
First of all I'm tired of stressing out about how people are going to react to my every decision. I never needed to worry about that in Indiana. Aunt Donna, in particular, needs to keep her nose where it belongs. I can't even begin to fathom that she would be so completely out of line that she would have a problem with us buying a car with money that we are earning. If she is ignorant enough to say anything about us buying a car that we need instead of getting the mortgage, I will be telling her that I did not realize that she had purchased the house. I will ask her how much she paid for it. If she were trying to recover funds which she invested into the house I could understand. Seeing as, to the best of my knowledge, she did not pay for the house, I fail to understand how us not getting the mortgage yet is effecting her. Us staying there is actually saving Grandpa money since he is no longer paying for the utilities.
I do intend on buying the house, but I'm hoping something decent will come along in Saint Louis so I can be sure that we are staying first. Since we have moved in to that house we have made numerous improvements on it. If nothing else, there isn't a doubt in my mind that the home is worth more now than it was when we moved in. We've raised the property value immensely. I've done extensive plumbing and electrical work.
If she feels the need to point out the fact that we purchased a vehicle which we needed before we got the mortgage, I will remind her that she is the one who is busy spending all of her ailing father's savings on everything she wants from riding lawn mowers to refrigerators, not me. If she is upset because me not getting a mortgage yet is delaying yet another free handout that she was expecting then she needs to take a morality check. Us spending money that we are working for on something that we need should not offend her while she sits on her ass spending her father's money. She is nothing but a self-righteous hypocrite who has spent all of her life passing judgement on others.
I have no intention of starting anything with her, but I will say that if she chooses to start something I will have no problem ending it. And she isn't going to like how it ends. I spent too many years of my life being walked on, and those years have come to an end. It's about time somebody put her in her place, and if she chooses to chastise me she will find that she has bit off a lot more than she can chew.
I have an enormous amount of respect for Grandpa Gene. He is an amazing man who I am honored to have the privilege of spending time with and learning from. If he asks me to go get a mortgage, I will have the ball rolling within a week. He doesn't seem to be overly concerned about it. If it were entirely up to him I imagine he'd probably just give it to me. I do realize that he knows that his daughters were expecting that money though, and I respect that and will do what I need to do.
I don't want to move back to Indiana, but I refuse to work for minimum wage and I know that driving back and forth every week can only last so long. I love it in Missouri. I'm hoping that something decent will come along. Until it does, I really don't want to tie myself down and set myself up for failure. Maybe Leia will get an awesome job at Monsanto. Maybe I'll end up getting a driving job like Dad's or finding a skilled trade to apprentice. I won't be working at McDonald's or Walgreens.
I love you and I love Grandpa. I love Dad a lot too but he's been so spiteful and mean lately that it's frustrating to be around him. When he's in a good mood I love spending time with him, but it seems like he's been in a bad mood a lot lately and he's just so negative.
Now we come to the most difficult part of the letter to write. This is just my opinion and I don't want to seem as if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. The problem is, after I get the mortgage I will be funding it.
There is a line between being helpful and being an enabler, and you crossed that line a long time ago with Michelle. I remember when she first moved to Indiana and I told you that you were doing more for her than she deserved. Nothing has changed. Actually, it has. It's gotten worse. You always say that you're going to stop doing it, but you just keep giving her money. I know that she's your daughter. I know that you want the best for her. The problem is that you're not helping her by giving her money. Until she realizes that money needs to be earned it's never going to get any better. She knows that you'll always be there to buy her groceries or whatever she needs, so why shouldn't she spend all of her money on electronics and stuff?
Here's where I come into it. I know that when I get that mortgage the money is going to, at some point, go to you and Donna. I don't really have a problem with that. You've done enough for me that I'm sure I owe you a hundred times the amount that you'll get.
The problem I have is that I know you're going to keep giving money to Michelle.
I've worked the last 12 years to support myself and my wife. I've made some mistakes, but I've learned from them. I'm sure you've noticed that I'm extremely thrifty. I'm bordering on being as bad as Grandma! The difference is that she denies herself the pleasures that make life enjoyable in an attempt to be so thrifty. I rationalize my purchases and weigh the cost against how much I really need and want whatever I'm about to buy. I'll usually shop around for the best deal for weeks on anything that costs more than about $20.
So how is it fair that me and my wife will need to work the next 30 years to pay for Michelle's boyfriend's kids' I-Pods and Game Boys and cell phone bills, when Michelle won't even take care of her own kid or pay for her own groceries and gets a free ride?
Mortgages are a serious business. Lets say I get a mortgage for $65,000. Assuming that I get a decent rate around 6%, which is a pretty big assumption, the house is still going to end up costing us over $140,000. That's not even counting all of the insurance and taxes of course. Of that, Grandpa or whoever is only going to get $65,000. I will be working to pay it off for the next 30 years. The money will probably be gone within months, and spent on stuff that won't last long. You know as well as I do that large sums of money tend to burn holes in the pockets of everybody in the family. I'll be working to pay off that mortgage long after everything the money was spent on is just a memory.
What am I trying to say here? I'm not trying to get the house for free. It just troubles me greatly to think that I will be working the next 30 years to pay for something that didn't cost anything to the people who are going to get the benefits. Then to think that that same person could possibly have the nerve to say something about me buying a vehicle with money that I'm working full time for is incomprehensible to me. As I said, if Grandpa needed the money it would be different. If he needed money for medical treatment or something I'd be waiting in line to fill out the mortgage application before the bank even opened. He probably has enough in precious metals alone to last another lifetime though. He has tried to give me money quite a few times and I've turned it down every time other than when he helped get the Ranger fixed and when he gave me a portion of the insurance settlement from the tree. I used a lot of that on plumbing and electrical supplies for the house. I even tried to pay the bills quite a few times before he would let me. I had to physically go over to Aunt Donna's house and get the bills so I could switch them over to my name.
You know that this isn't about money for me. You know that I've turned you down quite a few times when you've tried to buy me things. Money isn't what has me so upset. It's about morality to me.
I'm more happy with my life right now than I have been in quite a few years. I owe a great deal of that to you and Grandpa. I don't intend to let Aunt Donna get in the way of that, even if it means that I will need to move back to Indiana. I don't want that any more than you do.
On a brighter note, I'm going to do some more searching for computer deals for you in the next couple of days and I'll let you know what I find out. I know that everything you do you do out of love. I know that you aren't responsible for your sister's actions. I love you! As long as I'm living..
Love,
Brian
The best of which is that we've finally replaced the Blazer. We still have it as a back up, but I'm thinking about doing some work on it and trying to sell it. Either way, what we have now is absolutely amazing! Leia and I haven't been this excited about anything in ages. We shopped around and found what we believe to be an outstanding deal. I'm hoping that in five years I look back on this in a favorable light. Only time will tell. I do know, however, that our new truck has a Blue Book value of $15,000 and we got it for $9,000. It was priced at over $35,000 new! It's a 2004 Dodge Durango Limited which is the absolute top of the line model. It has every option available. Heated leather seats, six disc CD/MP3 player, radio controls on the steering wheel, all power seats, keyless entry, power sun roof, towing package, 4X4, running boards, cruise, infinity sound system, DVD player with remote, third row seating.. it has everything! It also has a 5.7L Hemi engine that can give a stock mustang a run for it's money. I can't believe that we were so fortunate. A vehicle that has all of the luxuries of a top of the line mini-van like Leia wanted, all of the rugged capabilities of an SUV like I wanted, enough room to fit all of our friends and my grandpa (seven people), AND 335 horses that can bring it from 0-60 in less than eight seconds. That's pretty amazing for a vehicle that weighs over three tons and can tow just about anything. And it looks sweet as hell! It's a blast to drive. It's by far the nicest vehicle we've ever owned. I feel like we've earned it. We certainly didn't rush into it, we checked it out over three weeks and two price drops. Don't ask about gas mileage.
I seriously need to get to sleep because I need to be to work in seven hours and I need to take a shower in the morning. I wrote an e-mail to my mom earlier this evening and I'm going to post it here. I hope it doesn't upset her too badly, but I needed to get some things off my chest. Here it is.
First I want to start off by saying Happy Birthday again! It's a big one too! I'm really glad I've been able to spend at least some time with you lately. Now that we have the new truck hopefully we'll be able to take you some places with us sometime!
I'm afraid the rest of the letter isn't going to be what either of us would like it to be. I'm going to apologize in advance if I hurt your feelings. I think you're an awesome mom and an awesome grandma and I don't want you to take any of this the wrong way. You've done a really good job.
That being said, and because I do love you so much, I'm going to be brutally honest about a few things. Honesty is always the best policy. You taught me that. Maybe sometimes it's best to sugar-coat it a bit.
I really didn't intend to write this letter to you on your birthday. I was thinking about it all morning on the drive to Indiana though and I need to get it off my chest.
We are coming to a point where we definitely need to decide where we are going to live our lives. Once we get the mortgage it's too late to change our minds without major complications. Mortgage does literally translate, from Latin, into "death grip" after all.
First of all I'm tired of stressing out about how people are going to react to my every decision. I never needed to worry about that in Indiana. Aunt Donna, in particular, needs to keep her nose where it belongs. I can't even begin to fathom that she would be so completely out of line that she would have a problem with us buying a car with money that we are earning. If she is ignorant enough to say anything about us buying a car that we need instead of getting the mortgage, I will be telling her that I did not realize that she had purchased the house. I will ask her how much she paid for it. If she were trying to recover funds which she invested into the house I could understand. Seeing as, to the best of my knowledge, she did not pay for the house, I fail to understand how us not getting the mortgage yet is effecting her. Us staying there is actually saving Grandpa money since he is no longer paying for the utilities.
I do intend on buying the house, but I'm hoping something decent will come along in Saint Louis so I can be sure that we are staying first. Since we have moved in to that house we have made numerous improvements on it. If nothing else, there isn't a doubt in my mind that the home is worth more now than it was when we moved in. We've raised the property value immensely. I've done extensive plumbing and electrical work.
If she feels the need to point out the fact that we purchased a vehicle which we needed before we got the mortgage, I will remind her that she is the one who is busy spending all of her ailing father's savings on everything she wants from riding lawn mowers to refrigerators, not me. If she is upset because me not getting a mortgage yet is delaying yet another free handout that she was expecting then she needs to take a morality check. Us spending money that we are working for on something that we need should not offend her while she sits on her ass spending her father's money. She is nothing but a self-righteous hypocrite who has spent all of her life passing judgement on others.
I have no intention of starting anything with her, but I will say that if she chooses to start something I will have no problem ending it. And she isn't going to like how it ends. I spent too many years of my life being walked on, and those years have come to an end. It's about time somebody put her in her place, and if she chooses to chastise me she will find that she has bit off a lot more than she can chew.
I have an enormous amount of respect for Grandpa Gene. He is an amazing man who I am honored to have the privilege of spending time with and learning from. If he asks me to go get a mortgage, I will have the ball rolling within a week. He doesn't seem to be overly concerned about it. If it were entirely up to him I imagine he'd probably just give it to me. I do realize that he knows that his daughters were expecting that money though, and I respect that and will do what I need to do.
I don't want to move back to Indiana, but I refuse to work for minimum wage and I know that driving back and forth every week can only last so long. I love it in Missouri. I'm hoping that something decent will come along. Until it does, I really don't want to tie myself down and set myself up for failure. Maybe Leia will get an awesome job at Monsanto. Maybe I'll end up getting a driving job like Dad's or finding a skilled trade to apprentice. I won't be working at McDonald's or Walgreens.
I love you and I love Grandpa. I love Dad a lot too but he's been so spiteful and mean lately that it's frustrating to be around him. When he's in a good mood I love spending time with him, but it seems like he's been in a bad mood a lot lately and he's just so negative.
Now we come to the most difficult part of the letter to write. This is just my opinion and I don't want to seem as if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. The problem is, after I get the mortgage I will be funding it.
There is a line between being helpful and being an enabler, and you crossed that line a long time ago with Michelle. I remember when she first moved to Indiana and I told you that you were doing more for her than she deserved. Nothing has changed. Actually, it has. It's gotten worse. You always say that you're going to stop doing it, but you just keep giving her money. I know that she's your daughter. I know that you want the best for her. The problem is that you're not helping her by giving her money. Until she realizes that money needs to be earned it's never going to get any better. She knows that you'll always be there to buy her groceries or whatever she needs, so why shouldn't she spend all of her money on electronics and stuff?
Here's where I come into it. I know that when I get that mortgage the money is going to, at some point, go to you and Donna. I don't really have a problem with that. You've done enough for me that I'm sure I owe you a hundred times the amount that you'll get.
The problem I have is that I know you're going to keep giving money to Michelle.
I've worked the last 12 years to support myself and my wife. I've made some mistakes, but I've learned from them. I'm sure you've noticed that I'm extremely thrifty. I'm bordering on being as bad as Grandma! The difference is that she denies herself the pleasures that make life enjoyable in an attempt to be so thrifty. I rationalize my purchases and weigh the cost against how much I really need and want whatever I'm about to buy. I'll usually shop around for the best deal for weeks on anything that costs more than about $20.
So how is it fair that me and my wife will need to work the next 30 years to pay for Michelle's boyfriend's kids' I-Pods and Game Boys and cell phone bills, when Michelle won't even take care of her own kid or pay for her own groceries and gets a free ride?
Mortgages are a serious business. Lets say I get a mortgage for $65,000. Assuming that I get a decent rate around 6%, which is a pretty big assumption, the house is still going to end up costing us over $140,000. That's not even counting all of the insurance and taxes of course. Of that, Grandpa or whoever is only going to get $65,000. I will be working to pay it off for the next 30 years. The money will probably be gone within months, and spent on stuff that won't last long. You know as well as I do that large sums of money tend to burn holes in the pockets of everybody in the family. I'll be working to pay off that mortgage long after everything the money was spent on is just a memory.
What am I trying to say here? I'm not trying to get the house for free. It just troubles me greatly to think that I will be working the next 30 years to pay for something that didn't cost anything to the people who are going to get the benefits. Then to think that that same person could possibly have the nerve to say something about me buying a vehicle with money that I'm working full time for is incomprehensible to me. As I said, if Grandpa needed the money it would be different. If he needed money for medical treatment or something I'd be waiting in line to fill out the mortgage application before the bank even opened. He probably has enough in precious metals alone to last another lifetime though. He has tried to give me money quite a few times and I've turned it down every time other than when he helped get the Ranger fixed and when he gave me a portion of the insurance settlement from the tree. I used a lot of that on plumbing and electrical supplies for the house. I even tried to pay the bills quite a few times before he would let me. I had to physically go over to Aunt Donna's house and get the bills so I could switch them over to my name.
You know that this isn't about money for me. You know that I've turned you down quite a few times when you've tried to buy me things. Money isn't what has me so upset. It's about morality to me.
I'm more happy with my life right now than I have been in quite a few years. I owe a great deal of that to you and Grandpa. I don't intend to let Aunt Donna get in the way of that, even if it means that I will need to move back to Indiana. I don't want that any more than you do.
On a brighter note, I'm going to do some more searching for computer deals for you in the next couple of days and I'll let you know what I find out. I know that everything you do you do out of love. I know that you aren't responsible for your sister's actions. I love you! As long as I'm living..
Love,
Brian