What to do today
It's about 9am on Monday, the last day of my weekend. I'm not sure what I want to do. I went to bed way too late last night (about 2am) and got up way too early this morning (about 6:30am) which is a bad combination of events. I suppose it could work out since I should be able to fall asleep early this evening so I can get up in the middle of the night to leave. I'm pretty sleepy right now. I've been trying to fall back to sleep for about an hour with no luck. I'm having way too many thoughts race through my head.
It's a strange feeling. I can't decide if I love my life or hate it right now. I'm sure only sleeping four hours last night isn't helping. I can't stop thinking about all of the stuff I do, and all of the stuff Leia doesn't do. She's simply not doing her part. It's brutally unfair, and I can't seem to figure out why I put up with it.
Some of the stuff I don't mind doing. I don't mind fixing stuff on the cars, or fixing the computers, or doing maintenance around the house. I don't mind doing my part.
Yesterday I put a new ignition cylinder in the Blazer, cleaned the Blazer (which was absolutely disgusting and still isn't perfect but I put a lot of work into it), fixed a broken panel on the interior of the Blazer, fixed the broken back screen door, did a load of laundry, cleaned the stove and the kitchen counter tops, put away a load of dishes and pre-washed and washed another load, pulled the trash can in from the curb where it had been sitting for half a week, and threw away a ton of trash that had been sitting around the house as well as a ton of expired food that was sitting in the fridge. I also checked up on the finances and paid all of the bills.
Keep in mind I'm the one working all week out of state to make the money to pay all the bills.
There was literally a swarm of gnats living on the dirty dishes in the sink, which had been there since I cooked dinner for everybody a week ago. I've killed hundreds already but there are still a bunch left. I tried to clean everything but they just keep finding new places to land.
What did Leia do last week? Absolutely nothing as far as I can tell, which is right on par for her. Unless you include the 20 or so hours (probably less) she worked at Test America. I wonder if she even turned them in to get paid for them. She usually doesn't even do that unless I remind her. Her excuse, as always, is that she was sick. That would certainly be a valid excuse, except that it wore out about ten years ago.
She does do some things for me, so I guess I'm not being entirely fair. She cut my hair for me yesterday, and my back was killing me so she rubbed it for about 15 seconds. She also went out and picked up dinner from a fast food place.
She says she is going to clean the whole house next week while I'm at work. I simply can't understand why it needs to get to this point for her to do something. The only time she does her fair share is when I'm so upset with her that I don't even like her anymore. Then it lasts a day or two and she's back to her normal self. It's not healthy for me to be pushed to the point of being that upset because she lives like this. No self-respecting human in our civilization should be party to the filth she would be perfectly content living in. She can blame it on her parents all she wants. That excuse doesn't fly either, because I was able to rise above many of the issues that I could be blaming on my parents. My dad used to beat my mom. I've never even raised my voice at Leia. My parents are pack rats and don't take care of things. At least that's the way my dad is, and my mom is so exhausted from trying to do everything the last 30 years that she's given up. I refuse to keep things around if I don't see any use for them in the future. We are each responsible for our own decisions.
Another thing that has been driving me absolutely crazy is her insanely flawed logic regarding finances and "value". It all started because she got in trouble for pirating. She was downloading copyrighted shows from a peer to peer site and got caught by H.B.O. Comcast sent us a letter which was basically just a slap on the wrist. I'd been telling her not to do it for years. The thought of somebody sitting in my house while I'm off working to pay the bills using an account that's in my name to commit a felony so they can watch a TV show is absolutely incomprehensible to me. I can't even begin to fathom the thought process behind such an inconsiderate and ignorant act. We have DirecTV with hundreds of channels! She can watch this show over the internet using a friend's cable and DVR which is perfectly legal! We're going to end up buying it on DVD anyway! But she commits a felony using an account in my name just because she feels like watching it at a certain time.
Since she was busted for pirating, she decided to get Netflix. She canceled that because it was taking them too long to ship here and now she's talking about getting a deal at Blockbuster. It's over $30 a month. She rationalizes it by saying, "But it's unlimited, you can get three movies every day for a total of 90 movies a month! That's only 30 cents a movie!". I wish she had the ability to apply common sense to her logic. Nobody is going to watch three movies a day, every day. Realistically she might get ten movies a month. That's watching two movies every weekend and one throughout the week most weeks. So she's still paying over $3 per movie. Not only that, but more movies is the LAST thing she needs. She needs to be paying a service to keep her from watching movies. Maybe then she'd find some time to get something done around the house.
I cleaned the bedroom a few weeks ago, it was full of dirty clothes and trash and just all kinds of crap that needed to be put away. The only things I didn't do were vacuum and dust. I'm not talking "dust" like getting behind the pictures and stuff. I'm not that much of a perfectionist. I'm talking about an eighth of an inch of dust covering everything. Guess what still hasn't been done three weeks later? Vacuuming and dusting.
I know I'm just venting, but I'm getting pretty tired of being the one earning 75% of the money AND doing 75% of the work around the house. How is that fair?
Sitting here stewing about it certainly isn't helping the situation. It's just making me more upset.
It's a strange feeling. I can't decide if I love my life or hate it right now. I'm sure only sleeping four hours last night isn't helping. I can't stop thinking about all of the stuff I do, and all of the stuff Leia doesn't do. She's simply not doing her part. It's brutally unfair, and I can't seem to figure out why I put up with it.
Some of the stuff I don't mind doing. I don't mind fixing stuff on the cars, or fixing the computers, or doing maintenance around the house. I don't mind doing my part.
Yesterday I put a new ignition cylinder in the Blazer, cleaned the Blazer (which was absolutely disgusting and still isn't perfect but I put a lot of work into it), fixed a broken panel on the interior of the Blazer, fixed the broken back screen door, did a load of laundry, cleaned the stove and the kitchen counter tops, put away a load of dishes and pre-washed and washed another load, pulled the trash can in from the curb where it had been sitting for half a week, and threw away a ton of trash that had been sitting around the house as well as a ton of expired food that was sitting in the fridge. I also checked up on the finances and paid all of the bills.
Keep in mind I'm the one working all week out of state to make the money to pay all the bills.
There was literally a swarm of gnats living on the dirty dishes in the sink, which had been there since I cooked dinner for everybody a week ago. I've killed hundreds already but there are still a bunch left. I tried to clean everything but they just keep finding new places to land.
What did Leia do last week? Absolutely nothing as far as I can tell, which is right on par for her. Unless you include the 20 or so hours (probably less) she worked at Test America. I wonder if she even turned them in to get paid for them. She usually doesn't even do that unless I remind her. Her excuse, as always, is that she was sick. That would certainly be a valid excuse, except that it wore out about ten years ago.
She does do some things for me, so I guess I'm not being entirely fair. She cut my hair for me yesterday, and my back was killing me so she rubbed it for about 15 seconds. She also went out and picked up dinner from a fast food place.
She says she is going to clean the whole house next week while I'm at work. I simply can't understand why it needs to get to this point for her to do something. The only time she does her fair share is when I'm so upset with her that I don't even like her anymore. Then it lasts a day or two and she's back to her normal self. It's not healthy for me to be pushed to the point of being that upset because she lives like this. No self-respecting human in our civilization should be party to the filth she would be perfectly content living in. She can blame it on her parents all she wants. That excuse doesn't fly either, because I was able to rise above many of the issues that I could be blaming on my parents. My dad used to beat my mom. I've never even raised my voice at Leia. My parents are pack rats and don't take care of things. At least that's the way my dad is, and my mom is so exhausted from trying to do everything the last 30 years that she's given up. I refuse to keep things around if I don't see any use for them in the future. We are each responsible for our own decisions.
Another thing that has been driving me absolutely crazy is her insanely flawed logic regarding finances and "value". It all started because she got in trouble for pirating. She was downloading copyrighted shows from a peer to peer site and got caught by H.B.O. Comcast sent us a letter which was basically just a slap on the wrist. I'd been telling her not to do it for years. The thought of somebody sitting in my house while I'm off working to pay the bills using an account that's in my name to commit a felony so they can watch a TV show is absolutely incomprehensible to me. I can't even begin to fathom the thought process behind such an inconsiderate and ignorant act. We have DirecTV with hundreds of channels! She can watch this show over the internet using a friend's cable and DVR which is perfectly legal! We're going to end up buying it on DVD anyway! But she commits a felony using an account in my name just because she feels like watching it at a certain time.
Since she was busted for pirating, she decided to get Netflix. She canceled that because it was taking them too long to ship here and now she's talking about getting a deal at Blockbuster. It's over $30 a month. She rationalizes it by saying, "But it's unlimited, you can get three movies every day for a total of 90 movies a month! That's only 30 cents a movie!". I wish she had the ability to apply common sense to her logic. Nobody is going to watch three movies a day, every day. Realistically she might get ten movies a month. That's watching two movies every weekend and one throughout the week most weeks. So she's still paying over $3 per movie. Not only that, but more movies is the LAST thing she needs. She needs to be paying a service to keep her from watching movies. Maybe then she'd find some time to get something done around the house.
I cleaned the bedroom a few weeks ago, it was full of dirty clothes and trash and just all kinds of crap that needed to be put away. The only things I didn't do were vacuum and dust. I'm not talking "dust" like getting behind the pictures and stuff. I'm not that much of a perfectionist. I'm talking about an eighth of an inch of dust covering everything. Guess what still hasn't been done three weeks later? Vacuuming and dusting.
I know I'm just venting, but I'm getting pretty tired of being the one earning 75% of the money AND doing 75% of the work around the house. How is that fair?
Sitting here stewing about it certainly isn't helping the situation. It's just making me more upset.