Royally Screwed
Wow. What a wonderful first post for the new year. I royally screwed myself out of the time of my life to top of the end of 2008. WOW. I am no longer going to Israel this week. Even though I didn't want to stay home for anything in the world, due to the tremendous amount of pressure to stay home due to the worsening situation in Israel (more bombs, more rockets and the declaration of war) I canceled everything yesterday. I cried. I still want to cry. I can't believe I start off the year by hating myself and regretting previous decisions. I know it's not the end of the world and I can easily go again, but it just ruins everything knowing everyone is still going to have the time of their life and I blew it. It's like senior trip all over again, except I stayed home to become lifeguard certified. What do I get out of this? Staying in a house locked up for the next week because I don't have a car. FUN. I'm such a self centered idiot. There are more important things to care about like people who are currently living in fear or who had suffered from the attacks in Israel. I cry over a trip. I cry over the biggest mistake of my currently short existence.