A Night At The Bar
I JUST finished writing this scene for theater class. Comments are welcome.
Judy: (a tad drunk) Another shot of whiskey please. (Again to the bartender) Ever have one of those days when you realize that your life is a piece of shit? (Bartender points to a sign that reads ‘I serve drinks not advice’) Oh.
Joe: (Sits down) Get me the usual.
Judy: (Turns to an old looking man in his late 40s who just sat down two seats next to her) Ever have one of those days when you realize that your life is a piece of shit?
Joe: (Drums his fingers impatiently while waiting for his drink and gives Judy a look of indifference). Mhmmm.
Judy: Well, today was one of those days, it seemed to be a chapter out of a trashy romance novel entitled ‘Judy’s So-Called Life’. The story of a poor girl (pauses), okay so I was from a well off family, anyway, point is she falls in love with all the wrong people.
Joe: Obviously I was one of those people. At least you’ve moved on from referring to me a ‘shitbag’.
Judy: (Stares really hard at him) Do I know you? Joe? Joe? Is that you?
Joe: Fuck Judy, you really must be drunk, it’s only been a year since we broke up. Didn’t you get married?
Judy: If you didn’t interrupt my story I would have gotten to that. (She drains the rest of her glass) Yeah, I WAS married. I finally thought I found Mr. Perfect, someone who loved and respected me, worshiped even. But after 3 seemingly perfect months of marriage I found out that I hadn’t married Mr. Prefect after all. Instead I married Mr. Rodgers, who decides he’s tired of living in the land of make-believe and hops on the trolley to get to know the neighbors better. Turns out he wasn’t satisfied with me. The wonderful life I was living turned out to be a lie. Whether it was me or just his unsatisfying lust, I won’t know. I divorced him and he moved to California with our neighbor Joan one week later.
Joe: Sorry to hear. (Takes drink from the bartender) Thanks.
Judy: I just don’t get it. (Hiccups) My advise to you, don’t date or marry any man. He’ll just break you’re heart beyond the point of repair.
Joe: (Said sarcastically) Good to know, because I did have my eye on the guy sitting in the booth over there. Ha, and I thought our relationship was screwed up.
Judy: It was. (Goes to take another drink but realizes her cups empty) Fuck. Where is that fuckin bartender, I need another drink. So how’ve you been?
Joe: Slept with a few other women. Some hookers here and there, no more than a one night stand.
Judy: Fuck. (Just before Joe takes his first sip Judy grabs his cup away and drinks it) You’re sitting here joking about relationships when there are women like me who actually care when men like you take advantage of them. (Drinks some more)
Joe: Yes, all men are like me. Fucking bastards that just want to get laid. Who needs relationships? Now give me my drink back.
Judy: Haha, soooooooory. (Takes another drink)
Joe: I’m the town drunk and Gd damnit! If you don’t let me take a drink I’m gonna go home sober for once! Great, I hope you’re gonna pay for that. You drank the whole thing.
Judy: Phfttttt. Get me another.
Joe: You’re already fucking tipsy.
Judy: (Laughs) Tipsy! I’m not tipsy! I’ve been at this bar drinking for the past four hours. (Whispers loudly) I’m HAMMERED.
Joe: Good to know I’ve been replaced by a better drunk.
Judy: Joe whatever happened to us?
Joe: I screwed around with my secretary on numerous occasions. You wanted more and I couldn’t provide for you.
Judy: Wanna try again?
Judy: (a tad drunk) Another shot of whiskey please. (Again to the bartender) Ever have one of those days when you realize that your life is a piece of shit? (Bartender points to a sign that reads ‘I serve drinks not advice’) Oh.
Joe: (Sits down) Get me the usual.
Judy: (Turns to an old looking man in his late 40s who just sat down two seats next to her) Ever have one of those days when you realize that your life is a piece of shit?
Joe: (Drums his fingers impatiently while waiting for his drink and gives Judy a look of indifference). Mhmmm.
Judy: Well, today was one of those days, it seemed to be a chapter out of a trashy romance novel entitled ‘Judy’s So-Called Life’. The story of a poor girl (pauses), okay so I was from a well off family, anyway, point is she falls in love with all the wrong people.
Joe: Obviously I was one of those people. At least you’ve moved on from referring to me a ‘shitbag’.
Judy: (Stares really hard at him) Do I know you? Joe? Joe? Is that you?
Joe: Fuck Judy, you really must be drunk, it’s only been a year since we broke up. Didn’t you get married?
Judy: If you didn’t interrupt my story I would have gotten to that. (She drains the rest of her glass) Yeah, I WAS married. I finally thought I found Mr. Perfect, someone who loved and respected me, worshiped even. But after 3 seemingly perfect months of marriage I found out that I hadn’t married Mr. Prefect after all. Instead I married Mr. Rodgers, who decides he’s tired of living in the land of make-believe and hops on the trolley to get to know the neighbors better. Turns out he wasn’t satisfied with me. The wonderful life I was living turned out to be a lie. Whether it was me or just his unsatisfying lust, I won’t know. I divorced him and he moved to California with our neighbor Joan one week later.
Joe: Sorry to hear. (Takes drink from the bartender) Thanks.
Judy: I just don’t get it. (Hiccups) My advise to you, don’t date or marry any man. He’ll just break you’re heart beyond the point of repair.
Joe: (Said sarcastically) Good to know, because I did have my eye on the guy sitting in the booth over there. Ha, and I thought our relationship was screwed up.
Judy: It was. (Goes to take another drink but realizes her cups empty) Fuck. Where is that fuckin bartender, I need another drink. So how’ve you been?
Joe: Slept with a few other women. Some hookers here and there, no more than a one night stand.
Judy: Fuck. (Just before Joe takes his first sip Judy grabs his cup away and drinks it) You’re sitting here joking about relationships when there are women like me who actually care when men like you take advantage of them. (Drinks some more)
Joe: Yes, all men are like me. Fucking bastards that just want to get laid. Who needs relationships? Now give me my drink back.
Judy: Haha, soooooooory. (Takes another drink)
Joe: I’m the town drunk and Gd damnit! If you don’t let me take a drink I’m gonna go home sober for once! Great, I hope you’re gonna pay for that. You drank the whole thing.
Judy: Phfttttt. Get me another.
Joe: You’re already fucking tipsy.
Judy: (Laughs) Tipsy! I’m not tipsy! I’ve been at this bar drinking for the past four hours. (Whispers loudly) I’m HAMMERED.
Joe: Good to know I’ve been replaced by a better drunk.
Judy: Joe whatever happened to us?
Joe: I screwed around with my secretary on numerous occasions. You wanted more and I couldn’t provide for you.
Judy: Wanna try again?