Presenting ... the Gorgeous Globes Awards *slobber*
Heh, with the Academy Awards just around the corner, methinks the time is, erm, ripe for the Gorgeous Globes (all two of them!) Awards ... a cheeky gorilla's tribute to Hollywood's leading ladies who deserve horny honorary mention. *ahem* So guys, please give a long, erm, standing ovation to these fine babes actresses. Heheh! Here are the tongue-in-cheek winners ... whose tongue in whose cheek is up to your imagination lah. ;)
"Best Most Foreign Film" Award
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA
With Chinese actresses playing all the lead geisha roles, even the Japs will find this film foreign ... and you can't get more foreign than that! Hai! For the rest of us, it might as well have been called "House of the Crouching Geishas". :)
"The Movie Many Guys Wish Ang Lee Had Made Instead" Award
BROOKE & BECKY'S MOUNTAINS
A stirring tale of two very, erm, endowed cowgals (Brooke and Becky) with more going on underneath their unflattering cowgal outfits than meets the eye. Starring Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson in their break-out performances (yeah, they break out of everything ... jail, their suffocating lives, typecasting, constricting cowgal costumes...), this is a story about true love and two women's struggle against bad fashion statements and abusive men ... Beavis (Brad "Father Figure" Pitt) who lusts for a romp in the haystack with Brooke, erm, I mean who yearns to have her baby, and Butt-Head (Jonathan "Match Point" Rhys Meyers) who just can't wait to ace with his racquet and balls. The end sequence is especially arousing rousing with Brooke and Becky riding into the sunset to The Sound of Music ... yup, their hills are certainly alive! :P~
"Best Costume" Award
AEON FLUX
You know you're watching a sure bet "Best Costume" shoo-in the very moment babelicious Charlize Theron snuggles into THAT outfit. Check it out!
Not hard to see why it's a Gorgeous Globes winner eh? Woot! Besides, any costume so capable of distracting the (male?) audience from a movie's non-existent plot takes top prize in my books. ;) Mmmm, can't wait for Tomb Raider III. :P~
"Best B-Grade Movie, But Like Guys Care" Award
HOUSE OF WAX tied with DUKES OF HAZZARD
Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson ... 'nuff said! ;)
"Chick Flick Alert!" Award
IN HER SHOES
Now, if it were called In Her Pants instead, I bet there'll be a HUGE male following. Muahahaha! *ahem*
"Best Actress (Actor?)" Award
FELICITY HUFFMAN in TRANSAMERICA
OK, I sincerely mean this one. Felicity is a hoot as a man who becomes a woman only to discover a long-lost son he (she?) had fathered (mothered?). Gf and I can't wait to catch the movie if/when it hits town. Man, Ms Huffman's one talented mamma. Methinks she should have her own spin-off TV medical drama ... "Desperate Houseman". LOL!
"Best Vocal Performance" Award
NAOMI WATTS in KING KONG
HOW CAN SHE NOT WIN WHEN ALL SHE DOES IS SCREAM LIKE THIS THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE?!?! Man, if I were Kong, I would probably have mauled her ... in more ways than one. Kekeke! ;)
"Best Film Editing" Award
FEARLESS
Michelle Yeoh as the (very) Invisible Swordswoman ... not! Hiak hiak hiak!
"Most Appropriately Named Director" Award
WOODY ALLEN in MATCH POINT
Two words ... "woody" and (*slurp*) "Scarlett Johansson". I rest my case. Muahahaha! Btw, this happens to be Woody's longest (film) to-date .... no prizes for guessing why huh? ;)
"Most Bo Liao (Pointless) Blog Entry" Award
YOU GUESS? :)
Darn, gf's away on a biz trip and I'm bored as hell on a Saturday afternoon! Bet you can't tell eh? ;)
Man, the balmy weather makes me wanna sneak away with gf to some sun-drenched island at the edge of the ocean...
"Best Most Foreign Film" Award
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA
With Chinese actresses playing all the lead geisha roles, even the Japs will find this film foreign ... and you can't get more foreign than that! Hai! For the rest of us, it might as well have been called "House of the Crouching Geishas". :)
"The Movie Many Guys Wish Ang Lee Had Made Instead" Award
BROOKE & BECKY'S MOUNTAINS
A stirring tale of two very, erm, endowed cowgals (Brooke and Becky) with more going on underneath their unflattering cowgal outfits than meets the eye. Starring Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson in their break-out performances (yeah, they break out of everything ... jail, their suffocating lives, typecasting, constricting cowgal costumes...), this is a story about true love and two women's struggle against bad fashion statements and abusive men ... Beavis (Brad "Father Figure" Pitt) who lusts for a romp in the haystack with Brooke, erm, I mean who yearns to have her baby, and Butt-Head (Jonathan "Match Point" Rhys Meyers) who just can't wait to ace with his racquet and balls. The end sequence is especially arousing rousing with Brooke and Becky riding into the sunset to The Sound of Music ... yup, their hills are certainly alive! :P~
"Best Costume" Award
AEON FLUX
You know you're watching a sure bet "Best Costume" shoo-in the very moment babelicious Charlize Theron snuggles into THAT outfit. Check it out!
Not hard to see why it's a Gorgeous Globes winner eh? Woot! Besides, any costume so capable of distracting the (male?) audience from a movie's non-existent plot takes top prize in my books. ;) Mmmm, can't wait for Tomb Raider III. :P~
"Best B-Grade Movie, But Like Guys Care" Award
HOUSE OF WAX tied with DUKES OF HAZZARD
Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson ... 'nuff said! ;)
"Chick Flick Alert!" Award
IN HER SHOES
Now, if it were called In Her Pants instead, I bet there'll be a HUGE male following. Muahahaha! *ahem*
"Best Actress (Actor?)" Award
FELICITY HUFFMAN in TRANSAMERICA
OK, I sincerely mean this one. Felicity is a hoot as a man who becomes a woman only to discover a long-lost son he (she?) had fathered (mothered?). Gf and I can't wait to catch the movie if/when it hits town. Man, Ms Huffman's one talented mamma. Methinks she should have her own spin-off TV medical drama ... "Desperate Houseman". LOL!
"Best Vocal Performance" Award
NAOMI WATTS in KING KONG
HOW CAN SHE NOT WIN WHEN ALL SHE DOES IS SCREAM LIKE THIS THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE?!?! Man, if I were Kong, I would probably have mauled her ... in more ways than one. Kekeke! ;)
"Best Film Editing" Award
FEARLESS
Michelle Yeoh as the (very) Invisible Swordswoman ... not! Hiak hiak hiak!
"Most Appropriately Named Director" Award
WOODY ALLEN in MATCH POINT
Two words ... "woody" and (*slurp*) "Scarlett Johansson". I rest my case. Muahahaha! Btw, this happens to be Woody's longest (film) to-date .... no prizes for guessing why huh? ;)
"Most Bo Liao (Pointless) Blog Entry" Award
YOU GUESS? :)
Darn, gf's away on a biz trip and I'm bored as hell on a Saturday afternoon! Bet you can't tell eh? ;)
Man, the balmy weather makes me wanna sneak away with gf to some sun-drenched island at the edge of the ocean...