(no subject)

[buttonsofwood]

i am so utterly overwhelmed. I don't even know how to express the extent. i honestly just can't comprehend all i am responsible for. kate left at 5 am....she thought she had found a home for frank...well, not really...she thought a shelter would take her.....but i was the one who had to call this morning after she left and they wouldn't take her. i am now responsible for finding frank a home. i am so infuriated...i have a day and a half to accomplish that along with cleaning the entire apartment, packing my crap, and getting all of kates shit out of the apartment. as much as i love her she has fucked me thoroughly...i don't think she quite knows the extent at which she has screwed me over.....she just smoked all day long the past couple of days and languidly packed (not really).....she procrastinated long enough that she left me with EVERYTHING....and i am feeling the stress...i am feeling sick! i have yet to figure out what i am doing with my life and i don't even have time to think about it because i have too much other responsibilities with the apartment. i want to cry...i have...and i will again. i went to the gym to run my worries away. i have to deal with the landlord tomorrow...i wanted to take class and make a good impression with cathy sharp so i could maybe get a job but i don't even have the time or the focus. I just would like some sort of support here....not even a strong one...kate was my only support...just knowing there was someone around despite the fact that she wasn't an actual support....i just would like someone around...some one to talk to while i am working like hell to put closure and end this mess.
i really can't believe this. what i should be worrying about is getting a job.....but right now that has lost priority even though it is the one thing i am here for....i wish i could say it would all be over in time, which is true, but at the same time it is time that i am fighting against.