012; 6 October 2022

[buttonholed]

I'm sure the lot of you whinging about the plight of the wizard in the face of the possibility that you won't get to play big brother the way you usually do are quite relieved at the events that have transpired the last few days. Don't worry - this will set progress with the Statute back a considerable amount, I'm sure. So for those of you worried

Comments

[devilandsea]

It's not a baseless accusation when you SHOVE YOUR HAND DOWN THE FRONT OF MY ROBES. SICK.

[buttonholed]

It wasn't to grope you, it was to put mashed potatoes down your shirt. Why the fuck would I want to grope a girl who looks like a boy?

[devilandsea]

I don't fucking know. Maybe because you're a poofter? Were you disappointed to find tits down my robes, Flowers? Not flat chested enough for you?

[buttonholed]

Not not flatchested enough for me, thanks.

[rathereffable]

Oh, I know he's a pouf -- just like me! -- all right. He's a beastly liar if he says otherwise.

[devilandsea]

Hahaha oh gross REALLY. Poor bloke -- DON'T BOTTLE UP YOUR FEELINGS, FLOWERS! You should HELP him come out of the closet, Finchy. I mean, what if he lives his whole life as a big LIE?

[rathereffable]

I do try, what with our splendidly intimate wrestling matches and all. Did you know that he moans when I bite him? Well, now you do if you didn't know already.

Oh, and I heard that repression makes one impotent. Hmm!

[buttonholed]

I do not moan. Stop spreading such debasing rumours like a twelve year old girl for God's sake.

[rathereffable]

There is nothing wrong with moaning -- you know I do it all the time myself.

[buttonholed]

And you are a pouf and an attention seeker.

[rathereffable]

And I certainly am the best Seeker there is, at least at school right now. Aren't you ever so lucky?

[buttonholed]

I wouldn't say lucky.

[rathereffable]

Well, what would you say then, sweetheart?

[buttonholed]

That you are lucky to have one redeeming quality that keeps me from wanting to kill you completely.

[rathereffable]

You are so dreadfully affectionate, darling. I love you.

[buttonholed]

You are mistaking hatred for affection.