Silent Sunshine Part Six
Title: Silent Sunshine
Pairing(s): Harvey/Steve Rogers, Harvey/OC, Harvey/OC/Steve
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 13,178
Warning(s): Sex, character death
Summary: He can’t move past it. It hurts too much. But maybe, just maybe, he can start. (Crossover with movie-verse Captain America)
May, 1947
“Harvey?”
Her voice was distant, indistinct, unimportant. Whoever she was, she would go away soon.
“Harvey, talk to me.”
He poured another shot, not caring what she wanted.
“Harvey, please…you’ve barely said a word to me in months…”
He lit a cigarette, staring straight ahead.
“At least look at me!”
That he could manage. He glanced at the woman standing in front of him, her grey eyes dull and red-rimmed from crying. Harvey didn’t care. People cried all the time. Nothing he could do about it.
She glared at him. “Harvey, I’m hurting too! But we have to keep on! For both of them. Neither of them wanted us to live like this.”
“How do you know?” he asked bitterly. “How do you know what they wanted?”
“I know that much, at least!” she snapped. “So please…come out of this. Be my husband again.”
A tear fell down his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t…I can’t be anyone’s husband right now.” He stood up and grabbed his coat. “I’ll be back later.”
She caught his arm. “Where are you going?”
“Out.”
“The bar again?”
“What d’you care?”
“Harvey, I’m worried about you! You never talk to anyone! You ignore me all the time! You go through a bottle of whiskey and three cartons of cigarettes every day!”
“So?”
She glared at him. “I was going to say that I’m scared I’ll wake up one morning and not have a husband anymore,” she answered coldly. “But I can see that’s already happened.”
“Sorry.”
Her eyes filled with tears again. “I miss him, too,” she said. “He was my son…my boy. But I can’t…I can’t just fade into myself. I need to live, Harvey. So would you at least have the heart to go have an affair so I can divorce you?”
He stared at her. “What?” he said.
“I’m done, Harvey. I can’t deal with you anymore. I thought it was bad when you lost Steve…and I understand you’re upset, but you can’t push me out forever without me taking the bait. So go sleep with a chorus girl or something so I can move on with my life!”
Harvey looked at her, really looked for the first time in months. While she had obviously been crying a lot, she had also lost weight-not the unhealthy amount that Harvey had lost, just enough to make her even more attractive. Her hair wasn’t limp or dirty like his. It was nicely permed-more nicely than it used to be, in fact. And the dress she was wearing wasn’t one that Harvey remembered seeing before…
“You’ve already moved on,” he said quietly. “Haven’t you?”
She shrugged. “What’s it matter?” she asked. “You didn’t notice…and it was only because you kept ignoring me after the funeral!”
“So who is it?” he asked, not really caring but curious nonetheless.
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t. Just making conversation.”
She hesitated before sighing. “Howard,” she admitted.
“Howard Stark?”
“What other Howard has been around since then?”
Harvey nodded. Made sense, really. Howard was nice, charming, handsome. The type of guy Maria tended to like.
The type of guy Harvey used to be.
“If it’ll make you happy, I’ll go have an affair tonight,” Harvey said. “Then you can ditch my sorry ass and go be happy with him. He’s a swell guy and I don’t mind losing you to him.” He turned. “I’m sorry.”
She stood in the hall, glaring at him. “You should have been sorry six months ago.”
*
December, 1949
Two years.
Two years alone. Two years moving from shitty apartment to shitty apartment, drinking away what little money he made. Two years shunning the winter, avoiding water as much as possible, too aware of what ice had done to him. What it had taken from him.
Steve. Charlie. Maria. All of them gone, leaving Harvey utterly and completely alone. Maria hadn’t spoken to him again as soon as the divorce went through and Harvey made no effort to contact either her or Howard. He did see accounts of Howard’s progress and exploits in the papers, but he couldn’t bring himself to care much.
So Harvey just drifted from apartment to apartment, bar to bar, odd job to odd job. He didn’t sing anymore, didn’t talk to any of his other friends, didn’t bother to do anything except drink and occasionally visit Charlie’s grave. Everything else was just background noise.
The final day of December found Harvey stumbling down the street, a bottle in his hand, not sure where he was going, just that he had somewhere to be. Something important was happening tonight, he just knew it. Maybe tonight was the night that he’d find them again. Maybe tonight, Captain America would come back and save the world, Charlie would come running up to him, laughing and chattering, Maria would ditch Stark and return to him…maybe tonight, a miracle would happen.
So when he saw the bright blue light ahead, he knew that his miracle had come. After two years of misery, his nightmare was about to be over. He staggered toward the light, knowing that a happy life waited on the other side. A happy life with Steve and Charlie and Maria, where the sun always shone and the silence was broken by their voices.
He stepped into the light and felt himself falling. But that was all right. He could fall now.
He hit the snowy ground hard, feeling the alcohol take hold of him. Just before everything went black, he heard someone calling to him. The words were indistinct, but he felt certain before he passed out that it was Charlie.
*
March, 2009
“So you’re saying I fell through time?”
The young man sitting across from him nodded. “It…it seems to happen a lot, though the results vary as to when and where you’ll show up again. I’ve got another one who came from 1999, but he showed up a while ago. And apparently there are documented cased of people showing up from the end of every decade since the turn of the 20th century…or at least, the ones we’ve found so far.” The young man looked rather apologetic. “We’ll get to work on getting you home, but I don’t know…”
“Don’t bother,” Harvey said. “I’ve got nothing back there.”
The young man studied him closely. “I see,” he said. “Well, then…you can stay here, if you like. I’ve got space. My name’s Linkara, by the way.”
Harvey nodded. “Thanks, Kid,” he said. “Thanks for everything.”
Linkara smiled. “My pleasure,” he said.
Harvey got up and walked around the living room, trying to look at anything but Linkara. The young man looked so much like he would imagine Charlie to have looked at that age…but no. This wasn’t a miracle. This was just an extension of his nightmare.
His eyes fell on the bookshelf and his eyes widened at a certain title on one of the books. He reached over and picked it up, as though in a dream. “Can I borrow this?” he asked breathlessly.
Linkara nodded. “Sure.” He smiled when he saw the title. “Did you read the originals back in your day?”
Harvey smiled slightly. “Something like that,” he answered quietly before he sat down on the futon again and stared at the brightly colored figure on the cover.
Maybe he had found his miracle after all.
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Pairing(s): Harvey/Steve Rogers, Harvey/OC, Harvey/OC/Steve
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 13,178
Warning(s): Sex, character death
Summary: He can’t move past it. It hurts too much. But maybe, just maybe, he can start. (Crossover with movie-verse Captain America)
May, 1947
“Harvey?”
Her voice was distant, indistinct, unimportant. Whoever she was, she would go away soon.
“Harvey, talk to me.”
He poured another shot, not caring what she wanted.
“Harvey, please…you’ve barely said a word to me in months…”
He lit a cigarette, staring straight ahead.
“At least look at me!”
That he could manage. He glanced at the woman standing in front of him, her grey eyes dull and red-rimmed from crying. Harvey didn’t care. People cried all the time. Nothing he could do about it.
She glared at him. “Harvey, I’m hurting too! But we have to keep on! For both of them. Neither of them wanted us to live like this.”
“How do you know?” he asked bitterly. “How do you know what they wanted?”
“I know that much, at least!” she snapped. “So please…come out of this. Be my husband again.”
A tear fell down his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t…I can’t be anyone’s husband right now.” He stood up and grabbed his coat. “I’ll be back later.”
She caught his arm. “Where are you going?”
“Out.”
“The bar again?”
“What d’you care?”
“Harvey, I’m worried about you! You never talk to anyone! You ignore me all the time! You go through a bottle of whiskey and three cartons of cigarettes every day!”
“So?”
She glared at him. “I was going to say that I’m scared I’ll wake up one morning and not have a husband anymore,” she answered coldly. “But I can see that’s already happened.”
“Sorry.”
Her eyes filled with tears again. “I miss him, too,” she said. “He was my son…my boy. But I can’t…I can’t just fade into myself. I need to live, Harvey. So would you at least have the heart to go have an affair so I can divorce you?”
He stared at her. “What?” he said.
“I’m done, Harvey. I can’t deal with you anymore. I thought it was bad when you lost Steve…and I understand you’re upset, but you can’t push me out forever without me taking the bait. So go sleep with a chorus girl or something so I can move on with my life!”
Harvey looked at her, really looked for the first time in months. While she had obviously been crying a lot, she had also lost weight-not the unhealthy amount that Harvey had lost, just enough to make her even more attractive. Her hair wasn’t limp or dirty like his. It was nicely permed-more nicely than it used to be, in fact. And the dress she was wearing wasn’t one that Harvey remembered seeing before…
“You’ve already moved on,” he said quietly. “Haven’t you?”
She shrugged. “What’s it matter?” she asked. “You didn’t notice…and it was only because you kept ignoring me after the funeral!”
“So who is it?” he asked, not really caring but curious nonetheless.
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t. Just making conversation.”
She hesitated before sighing. “Howard,” she admitted.
“Howard Stark?”
“What other Howard has been around since then?”
Harvey nodded. Made sense, really. Howard was nice, charming, handsome. The type of guy Maria tended to like.
The type of guy Harvey used to be.
“If it’ll make you happy, I’ll go have an affair tonight,” Harvey said. “Then you can ditch my sorry ass and go be happy with him. He’s a swell guy and I don’t mind losing you to him.” He turned. “I’m sorry.”
She stood in the hall, glaring at him. “You should have been sorry six months ago.”
*
December, 1949
Two years.
Two years alone. Two years moving from shitty apartment to shitty apartment, drinking away what little money he made. Two years shunning the winter, avoiding water as much as possible, too aware of what ice had done to him. What it had taken from him.
Steve. Charlie. Maria. All of them gone, leaving Harvey utterly and completely alone. Maria hadn’t spoken to him again as soon as the divorce went through and Harvey made no effort to contact either her or Howard. He did see accounts of Howard’s progress and exploits in the papers, but he couldn’t bring himself to care much.
So Harvey just drifted from apartment to apartment, bar to bar, odd job to odd job. He didn’t sing anymore, didn’t talk to any of his other friends, didn’t bother to do anything except drink and occasionally visit Charlie’s grave. Everything else was just background noise.
The final day of December found Harvey stumbling down the street, a bottle in his hand, not sure where he was going, just that he had somewhere to be. Something important was happening tonight, he just knew it. Maybe tonight was the night that he’d find them again. Maybe tonight, Captain America would come back and save the world, Charlie would come running up to him, laughing and chattering, Maria would ditch Stark and return to him…maybe tonight, a miracle would happen.
So when he saw the bright blue light ahead, he knew that his miracle had come. After two years of misery, his nightmare was about to be over. He staggered toward the light, knowing that a happy life waited on the other side. A happy life with Steve and Charlie and Maria, where the sun always shone and the silence was broken by their voices.
He stepped into the light and felt himself falling. But that was all right. He could fall now.
He hit the snowy ground hard, feeling the alcohol take hold of him. Just before everything went black, he heard someone calling to him. The words were indistinct, but he felt certain before he passed out that it was Charlie.
*
March, 2009
“So you’re saying I fell through time?”
The young man sitting across from him nodded. “It…it seems to happen a lot, though the results vary as to when and where you’ll show up again. I’ve got another one who came from 1999, but he showed up a while ago. And apparently there are documented cased of people showing up from the end of every decade since the turn of the 20th century…or at least, the ones we’ve found so far.” The young man looked rather apologetic. “We’ll get to work on getting you home, but I don’t know…”
“Don’t bother,” Harvey said. “I’ve got nothing back there.”
The young man studied him closely. “I see,” he said. “Well, then…you can stay here, if you like. I’ve got space. My name’s Linkara, by the way.”
Harvey nodded. “Thanks, Kid,” he said. “Thanks for everything.”
Linkara smiled. “My pleasure,” he said.
Harvey got up and walked around the living room, trying to look at anything but Linkara. The young man looked so much like he would imagine Charlie to have looked at that age…but no. This wasn’t a miracle. This was just an extension of his nightmare.
His eyes fell on the bookshelf and his eyes widened at a certain title on one of the books. He reached over and picked it up, as though in a dream. “Can I borrow this?” he asked breathlessly.
Linkara nodded. “Sure.” He smiled when he saw the title. “Did you read the originals back in your day?”
Harvey smiled slightly. “Something like that,” he answered quietly before he sat down on the futon again and stared at the brightly colored figure on the cover.
Maybe he had found his miracle after all.
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