Angel Wing Chapter Four
Title: Angel Wing
Pairing(s): Linkara/Spoony
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 10,414
Warning(s): Violence, strong language, overt Christian themes and theology
Summary: When an angel loses his wing and falls to Earth, he learns more than he ever expected and finds more than he ever dreamed of.
Several days passed. Spoony didn’t keep track of how many. In terms of eternity, a few days, even a few years, meant nothing. He prayed faithfully every night, asking to be restored to the Kingdom of Heaven, but otherwise, he had to be content with waiting. Linkara did his best to keep Spoony both hidden and entertained, asking questions every now and then that Spoony answered as honestly as he could. Linkara was an eager listener, and with every revelation that came, he adjusted his life accordingly, always trying to be the absolute best he could be.
If only more people were like him…
Linkara was also glad to explain the things Spoony didn’t understand to him. While the angel had a good idea of what the world was like, he wasn’t up on all the specifics and Linkara was the perfect person to explain them. At first, Linkara had been a bit nervous, worried that as an angel, Spoony would be more easily offended than normal humans, but Spoony quickly laid that fear to rest. “I’ve been watching Earth for over three hundred years,” he said. “Do you really think you can show me anything I haven’t already seen?”
“That doesn’t mean it won’t upset you.”
“If I got upset by all the bad stuff that went on in this world, I wouldn’t be able to function. Heaven may be above it all. That doesn’t mean we aren’t aware of it.”
After that, Linkara had been open about everything, not worried about Spoony’s reaction to sin and vice, even showing him films and video games that would upset the most uptight of Christian elders. It was a major revelation the night they played Tekken and Spoony beat Linkara with a hearty “Fuck yeah!”
“Angels can swear?” he asked in surprise.
Spoony rolled his eyes. “Of all the things you think the Lord worries about, you pick fucking words?”
“I just thought…”
“Trust me, Linkara. If it doesn’t hurt anybody, the Saints don’t care.”
“Words can hurt people, though. Insults, threats…”
“Does my language hurt you?”
“No.”
“Then don’t worry about it.”
And Linkara didn’t, though he was still faintly surprised when Spoony said something crass. But after a day or two, even that faded and Linkara stopped being upset about it.
“Can you describe it?” Linkara asked one night as they sat silent together, having just watched a very entertaining film about knights looking for the Holy Grail and failing miserably at it.
“What?”
“Heaven.”
“Whose Heaven?”
“You mean there’s more than one?”
“Of course there is. You don’t think everyone just flutters around and strums a harp, do you? Heaven is what you make of it.”
“I always thought…”
Spoony waved his hand. “It’s okay. Every religion likes to teach that there’s only one Heaven and only the people who follow their exact teachings can get in. You’re asking about the Christian Heaven, I assume.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s…it’s much different than what the Bible says, and yet not… they call it Paradise, the place where you’re close to the Lord, and it is… not that you see the Lord very often, He’s a little bit busy running the universe. But there’s no pain there, or sin or death… just peace and light and good works. Occasionally you’re sent to do a good deed on Earth or in the space between Heaven and Earth… like I was… but it’s all right, because it’s the good thing to do. The work of the Lord. And you can see down into the world, and make little changes here and there. Nothing drastic, just a sunny day for someone, or a smile for someone who’s feeling down. And it’s beautiful… you have no idea, Linkara. I can’t even… the mortals have no words for it.”
“A lot of people have tried.”
“They can’t even come close. You’ll just have to wait and see it for yourself.”
Linkara looked down. “If I make it.”
Spoony stared at him. “Why wouldn’t you make it? You’re good. You’re kind, you’re faithful. You picked a stranger up off the street, took him in, clothed him, offered food from your table… you’ve done everything right. There is a place for Heaven for every good person.”
“But is anyone really good? I’ve…sinned. I’ve done some bad things. I have anger problems, I lust after women… and maybe a few men,” he muttered, turning red. “Is there really a place for me among the angels?”
Spoony rolled his eyes. “Oh, really? You’re going to go that route? Do you honestly think there’s anyone in the Kingdom of Heaven who didn’t sin on Earth? We’re all sinners. That’s why the Lord sent Jesus to us. To teach us to be better, to die for our sins so that we could all be accepted. As long as we strive to do good, there is a place for us, regardless of what others call sin.”
Linkara nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered. He looked up at Spoony, studying him. “You were young when you died.”
“By your standards, yes,” Spoony said. “It wasn’t unusual to die at thirty back then.”
“I suppose not,” Linkara agreed. “It’s just a little sobering, knowing… you weren’t much older than I am.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Spoony said. “Your medicine has advanced to the point where you’ll live for a very long time before we see you at the gates.”
“I know. Just a bit odd to me.” He looked at Spoony a little longer. “Are the angels all beautiful?” he asked before he could stop himself.
Spoony smiled. “Of course they are,” he answered. “Because every good soul is beautiful.” He looked deep into Linkara’s eyes. “And in this world where people need so much guidance… where they use religion to harm others, where they lose their way and stop caring, where faith is so rare… finding a truly beautiful soul is always a blessing.”
Linkara blushed. “I’m glad I’ve gotten to see one,” he said. “Everything about you… your assurances, your eyes, your wing… they’re all so perfect.”
“I wish you could have seen the other wing. They look better together.”
“The one you have is still perfect. I can’t even tell… I thought at first it was just feathers, but the more I study it…”
Spoony nodded. “Wings are structured with faith-what you’d call bone or cartilage. Then they’re covered with hopes and dreams, which look like feathers until you look closer. And they work by righteousness. Without one of those things, the wings are useless.”
“Can I…can I touch it?” Linkara turned redder than ever, but he wanted to know.
Spoony hesitated. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t allow it-allowing an angel’s wing to be sullied by unfaithful hands could do more damage than losing it entirely-but Spoony had seen enough of Linkara’s soul to know that he was faithful. “You may,” he said.
Linkara reached out and tentatively stroked the edge of the wing with his hand. Spoony shivered. No one had ever touched his wings until Insano had cut one off. This was entirely different. Linkara’s hand was soft and warm. Spoony could practically feel the goodness coming off of him. It felt good; better than good as Linkara’s hand grew bolder, stroking over the feathery dreams covering the structure. The look on Linkara’s face was one of pure amazement. Spoony didn’t blame him. He had never found anything softer than angel’s wings.
After a few minutes, Linkara pulled his hand away, though his face maintained that look of wonder. “Thank you,” he whispered reverently. Spoony smiled, happy that he could share this with his friend.
*
Later that night, as Spoony rested on the futon, he heard a cry from the direction of Linkara’s room. He rose, wondering what could be disturbing his host. He padded down the hall, moving his wing to avoid hitting anything. “Linkara?” he called softly.
There was no answer, but as Spoony stood outside the door, he heard a low whimper from inside. He frowned and opened the door. “Linkara!”
The young man was lying in bed, his eyes squeezed shut, twitching, whimpering occasionally, muttering nonsense. Spoony hurried to his side. It was probably a nightmare, but he didn’t want Linkara to ever be hurt or scared, even in dreams. He shook him roughly. “Linkara!”
Linkara’s eyes snapped open and he sat straight up. “Spoony!”
“It’s all right,” Spoony said. “You just had a nightmare.”
Linkara breathed heavily, hugging his knees, staring straight ahead. “It felt… it was more real than any other nightmare… I could see… dark shapes… and…and they had you… they were holding you…tearing your wing…” He looked at Spoony with tear-filled eyes. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”
“It’s okay,” Spoony said. “I wasn’t asleep, you know.” He sat down on the bed beside Linkara. “Could you see what the dark figures were?”
“They were human-like, but they had wings…not angel wings…they were black…scaly…and they had claws…”
“Demons,” Spoony muttered. He looked into Linkara’s eyes, studying carefully. “They can occasionally plant nightmares into a human’s mind…” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry you had to see that. But it was just a dream. I’m here. We’re both all right.”
Linkara nodded. “You said there were demons… I didn’t realize…”
“You didn’t think that Heaven was that forgiving, did you? The people who live to harm others…the ones who don’t try to be good…there is Hell for them. And many become demons… built on despair and loss and doubt. It’s an eternal battle…and the mortal world often gets caught in between. And they like to fuck with people through nightmares…they must have gotten around to you tonight.” He glanced at the clock. “You need to go back to sleep. You have work to do…”
Linkara caught Spoony’s wrist. “Don’t go,” he begged. “I…I can’t sleep… I need to know you’re safe.”
Spoony hesitated, then nodded. “Okay. Okay, I’ll stay right here.” He gently lay Linkara back down and lay beside him. Linkara curled into the angel’s chest, his arms wrapping around him. Spoony was a bit surprised, but then he reciprocated, winding his arms around Linkara’s torso, stroking his hair. He spread his wing out, laying it over Linkara like a blanket, and watched as the young man drifted off to sleep, his face growing peaceful, his heart beating against Spoony’s chest.
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