toni-thanks for the brownie/i needed that
well...it wasnt just night sadness. i was depressed today. me and dev didnt ride to class together and we were both late. i was fine and dandy...well ok dandy is an exageration..until we talked outside of las palmas. it sucks to be on the other end of the breaking. i mean both sides do...but ive never had to do this side. insecurity floods in. its weird...devin has been all depressed the last forever since ive been on the whole no-boyfriend-but-kinda kick. and now he's wiggin me out. he's acting just like me. and im acting just like him. its the buttwhole of karma working here if u believe in it. there's a little thing in my mind that has started saying....basically, i made him kiss other ppl, i made him want to date other ppl, and now he's kind of happy about our freedom. and he likes a.w. oh, and his rents are going out of town. usually i would be a part of the whole party plotting (granted i wouldnt get to go for long, but i'd atleast be like woo-hoo). he said i could come. but i kno it would ruin some ppls little plans of a perfect night (not talking bout devin and will). i mean. it would suck. but busting up in there and crushing her little bubble would give me utmost but evil happiness. but since itd be evil it would only be shortlived happy. but this is the little antagonist in my mind. and i have to quit voicing and thinking that way. bc i kno devin, he's gonna feel bad and not be able to do what he wanted to do bc a.w. will totally make him think of me. i kno this bc he is me now and i know how i think lol. i have to shake it off. or i'll be completely miserable. gah...i've created another me. we totally did a role swap. but im gonna be happy now. after i cry a little more. then i'll tough it up. el fine.