Midnight Sun
a.k.a The Creepy, Obsessed, Stalker Diaries
As you probably know this is only an unfinished draft of the book. The first 12 chapters leaked on the Internet and so SMeyer threw one of the best professional tantrums I have seen in awhile:
"If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely."
"It's really complicated, because everyone now is in the driver's seat, where they can make judgment calls. [...] I do not feel alone with the manuscript. And I cannot write when I don't feel alone." She said that her goal was to go for around two years without hearing about Midnight Sun, and she thought that she would begin working on the novel again once she was sure that "everyone's forgotten about it." Source.
This only proves how utterly stupid SMeyer really is. First of all, grow up. This happens, it really doesn't taint the rest of the damn manuscript mostly because the story is already written. We know what happens. There were no spoilers to be had out of this thing. Considering she brags about how it only took her three months to write Twilight, I'm surprised Midnight Sun wasn't done in two weeks anyway. Second, what on God's green earth makes her think that people are going to still care about this series in two and a half years when it's published? She truly hasn't been paying attention. If so she would see the mounting antagonism toward the series that has been building as its popularity grows, and she would see the massive backlash from Breaking Dawn that has turned many of her own fans against her.
So, here is my commentary on the first 12 chapters of Midnight Sun.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There's not much I understand about these vampires, but the desire to keep up a life that requires an eternity of high school is so far beyond me.
What? After four books of "you don't see yourself very clearly" and "she has always been gorgeous" his first sight of her and he's like, "meh, nothing special, I don't get what all the fuss is about?"
Okay, do you think someone can have a fetish with a word? I think I'm going to call it. SMeyer has a "chagrin" fetish. There is absolutely no excuse for using a word as much as she uses "chagrin."
Hahahaha at how much of a bitch Jessica is in this book.
Edward has two graduate degrees in medicine? That makes no sense. Though it does answer questions I had about him birthing Renesmee. He never acts like someone with a medical degree. Like he always defers to Carlisle for the medical knowledge. That is just confusing.
Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram."
Yay, similes are still fun!
Hahahahahaha
It's so much more like this from his point of view. I think it was this draft that affected that performance.
This book automatically wins because there is so much talk of killing Bella. Then, of course, I remember that he never does and I am sad again.
Oh my God, we get it, you don't want to be a monster. Wangst about it some more!
I swear if she does the Bella Sawn thing on every single reference like she did with Edward Cullen in Twilight, I'm going to stab someone. (Thankfully she doesn't, but he does go on to say "the girl" to an irritating degree.)
For I hated this frail woman-child beside me, hated her with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self, my love of my family, my dreams of being something better than what I was...
"Woman-child?" What the hell?
I'm actually really surprised to see that SMeyer didn't have him mention Mr. Banner (the bio teacher) lusting after Bella. She seemed to be so proud of that little reveal.
Ugh, and then she goes there with Mrs. Cope (the office admin)! ICK! Yes, we know he's 105-years-old, but she thinks he's 17 and that makes her thoughts INAPPROPRIATE.
She did it again. Bella walks into the office behind Edward and he doesn't smell her until someone else enters? How hard is it to realize that that makes no sense?
The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn't quite seem to banish it from my mind."
You see what I mean? There was no attraction there outside of her delicious lady blood.
All the time SMeyer had to think this story through, and she still half-asses it. It's not surprising at all, but it is frustrating.
But I concentrated now, trying to break through whatever shield surrounded her.
I thought he said he never thought of Bella's ability to block him like that in Breaking Dawn. That's why he was all surprised to hear Eleazar call her a shield.
Edward's fixation on how vulnerable and defenseless Bella is - and not in an "I can easily kill her and bleed her dry" sort of way, but in a "she's so weak she needs protection" kind of way - is really disturbing. It's like an abuser zeroing in on a victim.
not that it made much difference in the face of the outrageous flavor floating on the air around her.
Hahahahaha. I'd heard about it. Hell, it's the one thing that really got me to continue reading through this one, but I didn't realize how amazing it would be to read it for myself...
I looked down at the girl again, bemused by the wide range of havoc and upheaval that, despite her ordinary, unthreatening appearance, she was wreaking on my life.
It wasn't that I couldn't see what Mike was going on about. She was actually rather pretty...in an unusual way. Better than being beautiful, her face was interesting. Not quite symmetrical -- her narrow chin out of balance with her wide cheekbones; extreme in the coloring--the light and dark contrast of her skin and her hair; and then there were the eyes, brimming over with silent secrets...
...really? That's, kind of, backhanded...and a backtrack? Like he finds his inability to read her mind fascinating, so in turn he's trying to talk himself into thinking she's pretty. Like I said before, it ruins all of that "you were never merely pretty" love talk that comes later.
I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that I'd finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw in that one word where she ranked herself among her own priorities. Unlike most humans her own needs were far down the list. She was selfless.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, ahhh, no. Really, no.
Yep, someone, somewhere, at any time in life is fucking CHAGRINED. GOT. IT.
Wangst. (I want to kill her and taste her delicious lady blood. I don't want to kill her. I don't want to be a monster.)
Wangst. (I should leave. What is keeping me here? Why can't I pull myself away?)
Wangst. (I have these feelings. I don't understand them. What the hell is going on? I hate myself SFM.)
OMG, more wangst. I never thought that someone could write a book of someone whining so freaking much.
Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around, ill-tempered and belligerent as the old man I should be by now.
Getting laid would fix that for you. Just sayin'. Tanya was ready and willing...
Ah it was theoretical medical study. Still, why two? Why not get one in medicine and then move on to another field?
It didn't matter that Tyler thought she was pretty. Anyone would notice that. There was no reason for me to feel...how did I feel? Annoyed? Or was angry closer to the truth? That made no sense at all.
God, seriously. What? And you didn't notice she was pretty until you talked yourself into it.
It shouldn't be so hard for me to do the right thing. But, all afternoon, I was gritting my teeth against the urge that had me yearning [to] ditch, too--in order to go find the girl again.
Like a stalker. An obsessed stalker. An obsessed, vampire stalker.
So, we're all agreed then.
So, WTF? There is still nothing more on his end than infatuation with her. They have only had two conversations thus far, one about why she moved to Forks, and the second was more of an argument about how he saved her from Tyler's Van (it gets character status for almost killing her) and yet he's falling in love with her? Because he's so intrigued by her mind? Just because Alice said it would happen from a vision? Come on now.
I learned so much through [listening in on conversations Bella was having with Mike] -- I was still compiling my list-- but, contrarily, Mike's assistance with this project only aggravated me more. I didn't want Mike to be the one that unlocked her secrets. I wanted to do that.
Yeah...creeping me out...
It helped that he never noticed her small revelations, her little slips. He knew nothing about her. He'd created a Bella in his head that didn't exist--a girl just as generic as he was. He hadn't observed the unselfishness and bravery that set her apart from other humans, he didn't hear the abnormal maturity of her spoken thoughts. He didn't perceive that when she spoke of her mother, she sounded like a parent speaking of a child rather than the other way around--loving, indulgent, slightly amused, and fiercely protective. He didn't hear the patience in her voice when she feigned interest in his rambling stories, and didn't guess at the kindness behind the patience.
Through her conversations with Mike I was able to add the most important quality to my list, the most revealing of the all, as simple as it was rare. Bella was good. All the other things added up to that whole--kind and self-effacing and unselfish and loving and brace--she was good through and through.
Hmm...so, would his piecing together the puzzle that is Bella, and liking this profile he has put together make it more love on his end? Or is it just a continuation of his infatuation with her and he is just as guilty as Mike of building this false image of Bella in his mind? I'm going to have to go with the latter here. Discuss.
I saw her life as I had before--college, career...love, marriage. I saw her on her father's arm again, dressed in gauzy white, her face flushed with happiness as she moved to the sound of Wagner's march.
The pain was more than anything I'd felt before. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel this pain--a human would not live through it.
Ugh, he's such a drama queen.
"The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body. If I'd had a heartbeat, it would have quickened."
I crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second. Dangling from the eave above the window by one hand, I looked through the glass, and my breath stopped.
It was her room. I could see her in the one small bed, her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted around her legs. As I watched, she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her head. She did not sleep soundly, at least not this night. Did she sense the danger near her?
OH. MY. GOD. CREEPY.
*shudders for like 20 minutes straight*
I was repulsed by myself as I watched her toss again. How was I any better than some sick peeping tom? I wasn't any better. I was much, much worse.
So, then we're all agreed...again.
I tried the window, and it was not locked, though it stuck due to long disuse. I slid it slowly aside, cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. I would have to find some oil for next time...
Just because you're disgusted with your acts, does not make it okay. There are many rapists, pedophiles, and murderers who are disgusted with their acts. They even say they don't want to be monsters as well...
Okay, now as he watches her sleep she is beautiful and takes his breath (if he had any) away? Mmmkay...WTF?
My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?
Huh? Oh, I see what you did there...
Wait...what? So he's head over heels in love with her now because she was dreaming of him and didn't want him to go in the dream? This makes less sense than when Bella fell in "love" with him.
I watched her sleeping until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and breathing.
DO NOT WANT.
Was it really such as shock that I would want her company? She must have applied the worst possible meaning to my past behavior.
You mean when you treated her like crap and ignored her existence to the point that she's convinced that you regret saving her life? I WOULD SAY THAT'S AFFIRMATIVE. Dumbass.
Er, if he has two graduate degrees in medicine, how is it possible that he has never paid attention to a human's diet before? Not to mention he still remembers being human...
As soon as Bella was out of my arms, I put the width of the room between us. My body was too excited, too eager, my muscles tense and the venom flowing.
WTF? Is that like the actual Sparklepire version of:
(Look, you're just going to have to get used to the fact that this will never stop being funny to me.)
I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my love and obsession--where I could see her and hear her in the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sunlight beside her...
Jesus. What the hell could SMeyer possibly have been thinking when she wrote this crap? THIS. IS. NOT. LOVE.
But I couldn't ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got closer. My jaw locked at the sight. Could I be any more of a freak?
...no?
But, yeah, it's really the sparkles that make you a freak while you creepily loom over this girl sleeping in her backyard (they don't help, but still...).
I would not trespass on her privacy the way the peeping tom would have. I was here for protection, not to leer at her in the way Mike Newton no doubt would, were he agile enough to move through the treetops the way I could. I would not treat her so crassly.
Creepy, stalker say what? You know, a lot of peeping toms, and stalkers think that what they're doing is different and a ameliorated by some personal justification...
I don't know why, but I never thought about the possibility that the reason Edward was tailing Bella to and through Port Angeles was because of a vision Alice had. Of course it turns out that isn't the case and he really is just stalking her, but even if it were the reason, once you add that to "oh, hai, I watch you while you sleep!" all bets are off.
I'd just admitted to stalking her, and she was smiling.
What I said in Twilight: WHAT THE HELL?? He admits to fucking TRACKING you to Port Angeles and that's cool? Not "OMG creepy stalker!" in the least??
So...we're all agreed then. Except Bella, who is an idiot.
SMeyer is playing fast and loose with the word "ironic" in this book.
"Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesn't," I said. "But I can't go out in the sunlight, at least not where anyone can see."
..."Why?" she asked, leaning her head to one side.
I doubted i could come up with the appropriate analogy to explain this one. So I just told her, "I'll show you sometime."
Well...have you ever seen Rainbow Brite??
I sighed at the impossibilities. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said, knowing that I would see her much sooner than that. She wouldn't see me until tomorrow, though.
Uhm, ew.
Ugh, so much talk of violence and no violence. Stop calling yourself a monster if you're not going to do anything monstrous other than whine like a bitch. Just kill the rapist/murderer and be done with it.
Oh, the rapist/murderer isn't black (like I thought in Twilight)...he's Latino.
Of course they don't kill him, or do anything to him other than sedate him and leave him for the cops in Portland. Compelling.
LOL at Jessica continually thinking "swoon." What decade does SMeyer think this is?
She didn't wait for me to open her door, just like last night. I had to feign normality here at school--so I couldn't move fast enough to prevent this--but she was just going to have to get used to being treated with more courtesy, and get used to it soon.
That...bothers me a lot. I don't know why.
Ugh, this is so banal. I mean, more than usual. He's a fucking vampire and yet we're reading about how much he hates gym. Well, no shit. Most of us did in high school. DO SOMETHING INTERESTING.
She didn't say anything until I was assembling her lunch. I didn't know what she liked--not yet--so I grabbed one of everything.
So, what was the issue with asking her? She was standing right next to you.
The sun would be shining Saturday. I could show her the real me, if I was brave enough to endure her horror and disgust.
It's still funny how he thinks that sparkling is going to strike fear and horror in the heart of this 17-year-old girl. It's freaking sparkling!!
Okay, Alice is kind of creeping me out too by constantly professing her love for Bella even though they haven't even spoken yet. I know she trusts her visions a lot, but it is just weird. Especially since nothing is set as Edward won't make up his damn mind.
Ugh, I'm assuming the vision Alice just showed him that set him off as he was changing plans with Bella is the one where he kills her in the meadow. So why continue to make plans to take her there? He hasn't figured out yet whether or not he can resist killing her, and instead of heeding Alice's vision and just taking her back to the house or something, he's throwing a fit against it and refusing to believe he could do anything like that. I'm like, why take the chance? Especially if you're going to wangst about it hardcore for ten pages.
Bella was kneading her forehead. It was hard to stay in my seat where I belonged, knowing she was hurt.
She hit herself in the head with a badminton racket in gym. It's not a life or death situation, calm the fuck down.
If she intended to continue to try to play, I was going to have to manufacture an excuse to pull her out of class.
Which leads me back to the question of who the hell you think you are? The position as Bella's father has already be filled.
This song basically sums up the last chapter:
Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Clash
Only way, way, way less awesome. Holy God, STFU! Either you're going to do the right thing and leave, or you're going to continue to make whatever excuse you can to stay. Make a decision and stop whining about it.
Hm, there appears to be a large chunk of that last chapter she didn't finish. At least not in a way that would sync up with the "Complications" chapter of Twilight.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That was, hands down, one of the creepiest things I have ever read in my life. I'd ask about SMeyer's thought process when she was writing this, but I really don't think I want to know now. He's just as whiney, self-loathing, and emo as he appears to be in Twilight, only amped up 1200 notches. Let's not forget the creepy. OMG THE CREEPY. I just can't get over it.
Edward sounds like an obsessed 17-year-old. He is 105-years-old at this point, he has a few graduate degrees, is there some reason why he doesn't have a more...intelligent mental discourse? Oh...right, nevermind.
SMeyer missed an opportunity to try to fix some of her previous mistakes. Well, I don't know if they could have been fixed, but...assuaged, maybe? I really don't know, but something to better explain his creepy, stalker behavior. For instance, something more than the vague, non-threat Peter and Charlotte (Jasper's human eating, but rational friends) posed when they were visiting. They were his excuse to stalk her, but it wasn't necessary, at all. Why didn't she create an actual, credible threat of imminent death that would have necessitated his behavior? Also, she could have maybe made it a real love on his end because it certainly wasn't on Bella's. Yet, it was still just infatuation. Not with her looks, or even with her blood, but the fact that he couldn't read her mind. She was an enigma and there was an unexplained draw to her. If SMeyer weren't in such awe with herself she might have seen the opportunity she had here. Of course, intelligence doesn't seem to be her style.
That said, if she ever finishes writing it, I'd probably read the rest (although the likelihood of that will go down exponentially if it really is two years). I don't know, don't ask. You're not going to get a rational response. Though I'm sure it'll only be more, "omg, want to touch....should not touch...want to touch....should not touch...mistake...going to touch...not going to touch...OMG TOUCHED...shouldn't have touched...hate myself for touching...selfish, horrible monster for touching...omg want to touch again...shouldn't touch...going to touch....OMG TOUCHED...why am I such a horrible sparklepire, I touched!!!" That was seriously how the last chapter read. I can't believe we'd ever wish to go back to the less whiney and selfish inner workings of Bella Swan.
As you probably know this is only an unfinished draft of the book. The first 12 chapters leaked on the Internet and so SMeyer threw one of the best professional tantrums I have seen in awhile:
"If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely."
"It's really complicated, because everyone now is in the driver's seat, where they can make judgment calls. [...] I do not feel alone with the manuscript. And I cannot write when I don't feel alone." She said that her goal was to go for around two years without hearing about Midnight Sun, and she thought that she would begin working on the novel again once she was sure that "everyone's forgotten about it." Source.
This only proves how utterly stupid SMeyer really is. First of all, grow up. This happens, it really doesn't taint the rest of the damn manuscript mostly because the story is already written. We know what happens. There were no spoilers to be had out of this thing. Considering she brags about how it only took her three months to write Twilight, I'm surprised Midnight Sun wasn't done in two weeks anyway. Second, what on God's green earth makes her think that people are going to still care about this series in two and a half years when it's published? She truly hasn't been paying attention. If so she would see the mounting antagonism toward the series that has been building as its popularity grows, and she would see the massive backlash from Breaking Dawn that has turned many of her own fans against her.
So, here is my commentary on the first 12 chapters of Midnight Sun.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There's not much I understand about these vampires, but the desire to keep up a life that requires an eternity of high school is so far beyond me.
What? After four books of "you don't see yourself very clearly" and "she has always been gorgeous" his first sight of her and he's like, "meh, nothing special, I don't get what all the fuss is about?"
Okay, do you think someone can have a fetish with a word? I think I'm going to call it. SMeyer has a "chagrin" fetish. There is absolutely no excuse for using a word as much as she uses "chagrin."
Hahahaha at how much of a bitch Jessica is in this book.
Edward has two graduate degrees in medicine? That makes no sense. Though it does answer questions I had about him birthing Renesmee. He never acts like someone with a medical degree. Like he always defers to Carlisle for the medical knowledge. That is just confusing.
Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram."
Yay, similes are still fun!
Hahahahahaha
It's so much more like this from his point of view. I think it was this draft that affected that performance.
This book automatically wins because there is so much talk of killing Bella. Then, of course, I remember that he never does and I am sad again.
Oh my God, we get it, you don't want to be a monster. Wangst about it some more!
I swear if she does the Bella Sawn thing on every single reference like she did with Edward Cullen in Twilight, I'm going to stab someone. (Thankfully she doesn't, but he does go on to say "the girl" to an irritating degree.)
For I hated this frail woman-child beside me, hated her with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self, my love of my family, my dreams of being something better than what I was...
"Woman-child?" What the hell?
I'm actually really surprised to see that SMeyer didn't have him mention Mr. Banner (the bio teacher) lusting after Bella. She seemed to be so proud of that little reveal.
Ugh, and then she goes there with Mrs. Cope (the office admin)! ICK! Yes, we know he's 105-years-old, but she thinks he's 17 and that makes her thoughts INAPPROPRIATE.
She did it again. Bella walks into the office behind Edward and he doesn't smell her until someone else enters? How hard is it to realize that that makes no sense?
The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn't quite seem to banish it from my mind."
You see what I mean? There was no attraction there outside of her delicious lady blood.
All the time SMeyer had to think this story through, and she still half-asses it. It's not surprising at all, but it is frustrating.
But I concentrated now, trying to break through whatever shield surrounded her.
I thought he said he never thought of Bella's ability to block him like that in Breaking Dawn. That's why he was all surprised to hear Eleazar call her a shield.
Edward's fixation on how vulnerable and defenseless Bella is - and not in an "I can easily kill her and bleed her dry" sort of way, but in a "she's so weak she needs protection" kind of way - is really disturbing. It's like an abuser zeroing in on a victim.
not that it made much difference in the face of the outrageous flavor floating on the air around her.
Hahahahaha. I'd heard about it. Hell, it's the one thing that really got me to continue reading through this one, but I didn't realize how amazing it would be to read it for myself...
I looked down at the girl again, bemused by the wide range of havoc and upheaval that, despite her ordinary, unthreatening appearance, she was wreaking on my life.
It wasn't that I couldn't see what Mike was going on about. She was actually rather pretty...in an unusual way. Better than being beautiful, her face was interesting. Not quite symmetrical -- her narrow chin out of balance with her wide cheekbones; extreme in the coloring--the light and dark contrast of her skin and her hair; and then there were the eyes, brimming over with silent secrets...
...really? That's, kind of, backhanded...and a backtrack? Like he finds his inability to read her mind fascinating, so in turn he's trying to talk himself into thinking she's pretty. Like I said before, it ruins all of that "you were never merely pretty" love talk that comes later.
I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that I'd finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw in that one word where she ranked herself among her own priorities. Unlike most humans her own needs were far down the list. She was selfless.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, ahhh, no. Really, no.
Yep, someone, somewhere, at any time in life is fucking CHAGRINED. GOT. IT.
Wangst. (I want to kill her and taste her delicious lady blood. I don't want to kill her. I don't want to be a monster.)
Wangst. (I should leave. What is keeping me here? Why can't I pull myself away?)
Wangst. (I have these feelings. I don't understand them. What the hell is going on? I hate myself SFM.)
OMG, more wangst. I never thought that someone could write a book of someone whining so freaking much.
Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around, ill-tempered and belligerent as the old man I should be by now.
Getting laid would fix that for you. Just sayin'. Tanya was ready and willing...
Ah it was theoretical medical study. Still, why two? Why not get one in medicine and then move on to another field?
It didn't matter that Tyler thought she was pretty. Anyone would notice that. There was no reason for me to feel...how did I feel? Annoyed? Or was angry closer to the truth? That made no sense at all.
God, seriously. What? And you didn't notice she was pretty until you talked yourself into it.
It shouldn't be so hard for me to do the right thing. But, all afternoon, I was gritting my teeth against the urge that had me yearning [to] ditch, too--in order to go find the girl again.
Like a stalker. An obsessed stalker. An obsessed, vampire stalker.
So, we're all agreed then.
So, WTF? There is still nothing more on his end than infatuation with her. They have only had two conversations thus far, one about why she moved to Forks, and the second was more of an argument about how he saved her from Tyler's Van (it gets character status for almost killing her) and yet he's falling in love with her? Because he's so intrigued by her mind? Just because Alice said it would happen from a vision? Come on now.
I learned so much through [listening in on conversations Bella was having with Mike] -- I was still compiling my list-- but, contrarily, Mike's assistance with this project only aggravated me more. I didn't want Mike to be the one that unlocked her secrets. I wanted to do that.
Yeah...creeping me out...
It helped that he never noticed her small revelations, her little slips. He knew nothing about her. He'd created a Bella in his head that didn't exist--a girl just as generic as he was. He hadn't observed the unselfishness and bravery that set her apart from other humans, he didn't hear the abnormal maturity of her spoken thoughts. He didn't perceive that when she spoke of her mother, she sounded like a parent speaking of a child rather than the other way around--loving, indulgent, slightly amused, and fiercely protective. He didn't hear the patience in her voice when she feigned interest in his rambling stories, and didn't guess at the kindness behind the patience.
Through her conversations with Mike I was able to add the most important quality to my list, the most revealing of the all, as simple as it was rare. Bella was good. All the other things added up to that whole--kind and self-effacing and unselfish and loving and brace--she was good through and through.
Hmm...so, would his piecing together the puzzle that is Bella, and liking this profile he has put together make it more love on his end? Or is it just a continuation of his infatuation with her and he is just as guilty as Mike of building this false image of Bella in his mind? I'm going to have to go with the latter here. Discuss.
I saw her life as I had before--college, career...love, marriage. I saw her on her father's arm again, dressed in gauzy white, her face flushed with happiness as she moved to the sound of Wagner's march.
The pain was more than anything I'd felt before. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel this pain--a human would not live through it.
Ugh, he's such a drama queen.
"The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body. If I'd had a heartbeat, it would have quickened."
I crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second. Dangling from the eave above the window by one hand, I looked through the glass, and my breath stopped.
It was her room. I could see her in the one small bed, her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted around her legs. As I watched, she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her head. She did not sleep soundly, at least not this night. Did she sense the danger near her?
OH. MY. GOD. CREEPY.
*shudders for like 20 minutes straight*
I was repulsed by myself as I watched her toss again. How was I any better than some sick peeping tom? I wasn't any better. I was much, much worse.
So, then we're all agreed...again.
I tried the window, and it was not locked, though it stuck due to long disuse. I slid it slowly aside, cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. I would have to find some oil for next time...
Just because you're disgusted with your acts, does not make it okay. There are many rapists, pedophiles, and murderers who are disgusted with their acts. They even say they don't want to be monsters as well...
Okay, now as he watches her sleep she is beautiful and takes his breath (if he had any) away? Mmmkay...WTF?
My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?
Huh? Oh, I see what you did there...
Wait...what? So he's head over heels in love with her now because she was dreaming of him and didn't want him to go in the dream? This makes less sense than when Bella fell in "love" with him.
I watched her sleeping until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and breathing.
DO NOT WANT.
Was it really such as shock that I would want her company? She must have applied the worst possible meaning to my past behavior.
You mean when you treated her like crap and ignored her existence to the point that she's convinced that you regret saving her life? I WOULD SAY THAT'S AFFIRMATIVE. Dumbass.
Er, if he has two graduate degrees in medicine, how is it possible that he has never paid attention to a human's diet before? Not to mention he still remembers being human...
As soon as Bella was out of my arms, I put the width of the room between us. My body was too excited, too eager, my muscles tense and the venom flowing.
WTF? Is that like the actual Sparklepire version of:
(Look, you're just going to have to get used to the fact that this will never stop being funny to me.)
I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my love and obsession--where I could see her and hear her in the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sunlight beside her...
Jesus. What the hell could SMeyer possibly have been thinking when she wrote this crap? THIS. IS. NOT. LOVE.
But I couldn't ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got closer. My jaw locked at the sight. Could I be any more of a freak?
...no?
But, yeah, it's really the sparkles that make you a freak while you creepily loom over this girl sleeping in her backyard (they don't help, but still...).
I would not trespass on her privacy the way the peeping tom would have. I was here for protection, not to leer at her in the way Mike Newton no doubt would, were he agile enough to move through the treetops the way I could. I would not treat her so crassly.
Creepy, stalker say what? You know, a lot of peeping toms, and stalkers think that what they're doing is different and a ameliorated by some personal justification...
I don't know why, but I never thought about the possibility that the reason Edward was tailing Bella to and through Port Angeles was because of a vision Alice had. Of course it turns out that isn't the case and he really is just stalking her, but even if it were the reason, once you add that to "oh, hai, I watch you while you sleep!" all bets are off.
I'd just admitted to stalking her, and she was smiling.
What I said in Twilight: WHAT THE HELL?? He admits to fucking TRACKING you to Port Angeles and that's cool? Not "OMG creepy stalker!" in the least??
So...we're all agreed then. Except Bella, who is an idiot.
SMeyer is playing fast and loose with the word "ironic" in this book.
"Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesn't," I said. "But I can't go out in the sunlight, at least not where anyone can see."
..."Why?" she asked, leaning her head to one side.
I doubted i could come up with the appropriate analogy to explain this one. So I just told her, "I'll show you sometime."
Well...have you ever seen Rainbow Brite??
I sighed at the impossibilities. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said, knowing that I would see her much sooner than that. She wouldn't see me until tomorrow, though.
Uhm, ew.
Ugh, so much talk of violence and no violence. Stop calling yourself a monster if you're not going to do anything monstrous other than whine like a bitch. Just kill the rapist/murderer and be done with it.
Oh, the rapist/murderer isn't black (like I thought in Twilight)...he's Latino.
Of course they don't kill him, or do anything to him other than sedate him and leave him for the cops in Portland. Compelling.
LOL at Jessica continually thinking "swoon." What decade does SMeyer think this is?
She didn't wait for me to open her door, just like last night. I had to feign normality here at school--so I couldn't move fast enough to prevent this--but she was just going to have to get used to being treated with more courtesy, and get used to it soon.
That...bothers me a lot. I don't know why.
Ugh, this is so banal. I mean, more than usual. He's a fucking vampire and yet we're reading about how much he hates gym. Well, no shit. Most of us did in high school. DO SOMETHING INTERESTING.
She didn't say anything until I was assembling her lunch. I didn't know what she liked--not yet--so I grabbed one of everything.
So, what was the issue with asking her? She was standing right next to you.
The sun would be shining Saturday. I could show her the real me, if I was brave enough to endure her horror and disgust.
It's still funny how he thinks that sparkling is going to strike fear and horror in the heart of this 17-year-old girl. It's freaking sparkling!!
Okay, Alice is kind of creeping me out too by constantly professing her love for Bella even though they haven't even spoken yet. I know she trusts her visions a lot, but it is just weird. Especially since nothing is set as Edward won't make up his damn mind.
Ugh, I'm assuming the vision Alice just showed him that set him off as he was changing plans with Bella is the one where he kills her in the meadow. So why continue to make plans to take her there? He hasn't figured out yet whether or not he can resist killing her, and instead of heeding Alice's vision and just taking her back to the house or something, he's throwing a fit against it and refusing to believe he could do anything like that. I'm like, why take the chance? Especially if you're going to wangst about it hardcore for ten pages.
Bella was kneading her forehead. It was hard to stay in my seat where I belonged, knowing she was hurt.
She hit herself in the head with a badminton racket in gym. It's not a life or death situation, calm the fuck down.
If she intended to continue to try to play, I was going to have to manufacture an excuse to pull her out of class.
Which leads me back to the question of who the hell you think you are? The position as Bella's father has already be filled.
This song basically sums up the last chapter:
Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Clash
Only way, way, way less awesome. Holy God, STFU! Either you're going to do the right thing and leave, or you're going to continue to make whatever excuse you can to stay. Make a decision and stop whining about it.
Hm, there appears to be a large chunk of that last chapter she didn't finish. At least not in a way that would sync up with the "Complications" chapter of Twilight.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That was, hands down, one of the creepiest things I have ever read in my life. I'd ask about SMeyer's thought process when she was writing this, but I really don't think I want to know now. He's just as whiney, self-loathing, and emo as he appears to be in Twilight, only amped up 1200 notches. Let's not forget the creepy. OMG THE CREEPY. I just can't get over it.
Edward sounds like an obsessed 17-year-old. He is 105-years-old at this point, he has a few graduate degrees, is there some reason why he doesn't have a more...intelligent mental discourse? Oh...right, nevermind.
SMeyer missed an opportunity to try to fix some of her previous mistakes. Well, I don't know if they could have been fixed, but...assuaged, maybe? I really don't know, but something to better explain his creepy, stalker behavior. For instance, something more than the vague, non-threat Peter and Charlotte (Jasper's human eating, but rational friends) posed when they were visiting. They were his excuse to stalk her, but it wasn't necessary, at all. Why didn't she create an actual, credible threat of imminent death that would have necessitated his behavior? Also, she could have maybe made it a real love on his end because it certainly wasn't on Bella's. Yet, it was still just infatuation. Not with her looks, or even with her blood, but the fact that he couldn't read her mind. She was an enigma and there was an unexplained draw to her. If SMeyer weren't in such awe with herself she might have seen the opportunity she had here. Of course, intelligence doesn't seem to be her style.
That said, if she ever finishes writing it, I'd probably read the rest (although the likelihood of that will go down exponentially if it really is two years). I don't know, don't ask. You're not going to get a rational response. Though I'm sure it'll only be more, "omg, want to touch....should not touch...want to touch....should not touch...mistake...going to touch...not going to touch...OMG TOUCHED...shouldn't have touched...hate myself for touching...selfish, horrible monster for touching...omg want to touch again...shouldn't touch...going to touch....OMG TOUCHED...why am I such a horrible sparklepire, I touched!!!" That was seriously how the last chapter read. I can't believe we'd ever wish to go back to the less whiney and selfish inner workings of Bella Swan.