dear body,

[butter_fly_]

right now it's nearly 5am and i can't sleep. there's just too much physical energy racing around inside me and there's no outlet right now. where did all of this energy come from? i'm on my feet several nights a week at work, such that everything from my lower back down feels like it is falling apart and hasn't had enough time to recover. i need a good night's sleep to help with that. but apparently standing and walking around for hours on end doesn't burn enough energy. i haven't been working out lately because a) i have no more free gym membership and also no good (safe) way to get there; b) i haven't been able to go biking because of weather conditions; c) i haven't been able to run because of weather conditions (ice!) and there's a history of bad knees in my family and frankly, i don't feel like punishing them more than i already am whenever i'm at work. body, i know i need to work out some kind of arrangement to burn off this excess energy and to keep myself in shape and healthy (emotionally as well as physically), but i haven't found the way yet. i'm working on it, i really am. i have my cross-country skis now, thanks to my aunts dropping them off for me, and i went sledding today with adrian and isaiah, and i've tried to call susan to see if she has some ideas for me (but i haven't reached her yet), and i might get to go to the gym with ted (even so that means paying a little bit of money i barely have each time), so i'm not totally out of options yet. but please, please, let me sleep tonight. i don't want to be a zombie tomorrow, especially because i spent my post-work evening trying to convince the guys that we need to get out of our respective houses and go do something tomorrow. i'll be so much better able to solve this dilemma quickly if i have all my wits about me. maybe i needed a wake-up call (literally, apparently) in order to give you the attention you should have been getting all along, but seriously, point taken. can i please go to sleep now? please?
with frustrated affection,
adrienne