blahhhhhhhhh

[butmaybeicant]

i have to go to work soon, mickey dsssssss. wooooooo. i couldnt stand being broke anymore, so i work with my cousin. im trying to get stoned but i cant pack out of this vile, because there is barely enough to pack hitters with. im fucking depressed, stressed, and pissed off. i really hope christopher isn't just staying with me for a place to live...........i love him and i want to be with him but a lot of the time i just do not feel appreciated. i do  not want to end up having him just to leave me when he has enough money to live on his own fully. i will be devistated because this relationship has had too many ups and downs and back ups to just give up. but i dont ever know when to just stop trying because i always love too much. i hate myself with relationships because im such a fucking love freak. i love the way i feel when im in love. i would rather be in love than do any fucking drug in the world. it is the best high i have ever have and i continue to always want that passion in my life.

i wish he would read this, i wish he would read how incredibly in love i am with him. i wish he understood that when i wake up every morning and see his messy curly hair everywhere that i melt inside. i am insane because i never thought i would feel this in love again, but i do and i really really wish i could enjoy it

i have work. bye.