domestic violence and straight to voicemail.
good morning, lj. how are you? no doubtedly doing much better than i. unfortunately for me this must be documented so that i do not "get drunk and forget" a.k.a.....live in pure denial. Russel was right, it was just a matter of time before the mental, verbal, and emotional abuse turned into physical. really didn't take long either, i mean wow. what was it? it's been maybe 2 months all together so if it's happening this fast it's really not looking good for me. i mean i at least thought it would take a little longer, damn. and the main thing for me is, he wasn't even drunk. that's truly what sealed the fuckin deal for me. it would have been MUUUUUUCCCHHHH fucking different if he was drunk. i mean damn. at least i'm fucking drunk when i fuck up. but no, he came here completely fucking sober, i opened the door, and he fucking SHOVED MY ASS BACKWARDS into the chair and i went flying. then he proceeded to scream at me, and steal my fucking EBT card! can you believe that?!?!?!? my fucking ebt card. like wow dude that's pretty low. he said that I OWE HIM. i owe you??? then, please tell me, WHY THE FUCK AM I SUCKING YOUR DICK DAILY???? i would love to know. yeah i know it's partly my fault because of my fucking oral fixation, but damn dude... you are pretty fucking convincing. manipulative fuck. anyway. i woke up to a cat meowing in my face, with one shoe, no cell phone, on the floor, at my moms super confused. thank fucking god for chris and russel, seriously. they have done an excellent job of distracting me and i am so greatful for that. i just want to be happy and i don't think i will ever be happy with raf because raf will never change. fuck alcohol tastes disgusting in the morning, i hate that. i think i really am done this time. even my dad told me hes not going to change, and my dad is a good judge of character... in that department, at least.besides, the skin on my hands is literally PEELING OFFFFFFF from doing so many dishes. i hate muscling. total W-A-S-T-E. anyway. i need to be done with this dude. i have to stop going back.