"Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"
So the last couple months have been pretty tiring, but it's paying off. I've been hitting the gym about 3 to 4 days a week. I would like to do more, but considering the stress I put my body under in those days, I'm not sure it's really possible. I'm on a 3 day cycle. Basically, Day 1 I work arms, shoulders, and upper and mid back. Day 2 I do legs (which takes forever!), abs, and lower back. Day 3 I do chest and cardio. At the advice of a trainer I am only doing cardio once a week, so I can put on muscle weight. Well, curse my metabolism, I have only gained a net of 2 pounds in two months. On the bright side, my body fat has dropped 4.2% in two months, which is huge. I am eating more than I think I ever have in my life and I've upped my protein intake to about 90-100 grams a day. Naked Neighbor said my shoulders are getting much bigger and Sarah said I'm looking more male (if I could just look older!). You can no longer see my spine, just a divot between my back muscles and while I can't always see it, Baker, Hollie, and everyone else seems to see serious definition that wasn't previously there. Baker's been a huge help with pointing out the changes (usually with exclamations of 'what the hell...your arms are huge!') when I feel like I'm not getting tangible results. I can see it every now and then, but with the number of mirrors in Gold's, it's kinda hard to see changes. I feel like I look at my self in the mirror everyday, because they line every wall in the place.
I think the big test will be when I see people that haven't seen me in a while. I'm running a training in Atlanta on April 20 and I'm spending the weekend with Mom and a couple friends there (bizarrely enough, now that I think of it, mostly ex's). It will be good to see Mom, considering the conversations as of late. For example, she called me yesterday and asked me if it made me uncomfortable that she still called me by my birth name, which led into a bunch of questions about when I was starting T and when I was planning my top surgery. She even asked about bottom surgery, which was a little weird. Not that we directly talked about it, but I've never had penis conversations with my mother. I also had a 45 minute conversation with my brother a couple weeks ago. I'm not sure what happened to my stupid little brother, but he grew up somewhere along the line. The only person in my immediate family that doesn't know now is my father, which I feel bad about. I think it's about time to write him a letter. I know he's gonna be upset about being the last to know. I just don't feel very close to him anymore.
Everyone else seems to be handling it really well. In fact, I was having a drink on Friday with Sarah and Naked Neighbors, in what must have been the Twilight Zone, because all of a sudden they are planning a Top Surgery party to raise money for me. In all honesty, I think Sarah just wants to be able to point at my chest and say "I helped do that". All in a day's work in her "I WIN!" lifestyle.
By the way, working out (especially cardio) is killing my foot. I finally got an appointment (next Friday) with my new podiatrist through a referral from my new doctor who is the most awesome freakin doctor I have EVER had. I never thought I could actually look forward to seeing a doctor. I am her first FTM patient, but she has 3 MTF patients, she used to teach safe sex seminars at Whitman-Walker and she is on the board for the Mautner Project for Lesbians with Cancer. She also practiced law for 32 years. She rocks and, unlike other doctors in my past, she really has a knack for getting ALL the info that may affect my health. She has already told me that if I ever need to talk to her, that I can call and that she will learn everything she can about FTM transition, so that she can make sure I maintain the best health possible. So all in all, things are good.
I think the big test will be when I see people that haven't seen me in a while. I'm running a training in Atlanta on April 20 and I'm spending the weekend with Mom and a couple friends there (bizarrely enough, now that I think of it, mostly ex's). It will be good to see Mom, considering the conversations as of late. For example, she called me yesterday and asked me if it made me uncomfortable that she still called me by my birth name, which led into a bunch of questions about when I was starting T and when I was planning my top surgery. She even asked about bottom surgery, which was a little weird. Not that we directly talked about it, but I've never had penis conversations with my mother. I also had a 45 minute conversation with my brother a couple weeks ago. I'm not sure what happened to my stupid little brother, but he grew up somewhere along the line. The only person in my immediate family that doesn't know now is my father, which I feel bad about. I think it's about time to write him a letter. I know he's gonna be upset about being the last to know. I just don't feel very close to him anymore.
Everyone else seems to be handling it really well. In fact, I was having a drink on Friday with Sarah and Naked Neighbors, in what must have been the Twilight Zone, because all of a sudden they are planning a Top Surgery party to raise money for me. In all honesty, I think Sarah just wants to be able to point at my chest and say "I helped do that". All in a day's work in her "I WIN!" lifestyle.
By the way, working out (especially cardio) is killing my foot. I finally got an appointment (next Friday) with my new podiatrist through a referral from my new doctor who is the most awesome freakin doctor I have EVER had. I never thought I could actually look forward to seeing a doctor. I am her first FTM patient, but she has 3 MTF patients, she used to teach safe sex seminars at Whitman-Walker and she is on the board for the Mautner Project for Lesbians with Cancer. She also practiced law for 32 years. She rocks and, unlike other doctors in my past, she really has a knack for getting ALL the info that may affect my health. She has already told me that if I ever need to talk to her, that I can call and that she will learn everything she can about FTM transition, so that she can make sure I maintain the best health possible. So all in all, things are good.