spanx, you make a liar out of me
I suppose that in a sense, wearing spanx really makes me a liar about my body image. They tone me down, bring all my fat into a manageable, sausage like shape, and make everything look streamline and nice instead of lumpy and bumpy.
I bought them to wear with my bridesmaid dress so I do not look funky shaped underneath it and don't really intend on wearing them at any other time because it's 110 degrees out half the time and it's hot enough without adding another layer of clothing on under what I already have to wear. When I have worn them under my capris to the bridal store (because it takes about five minutes just to get the suckers on and the first time I regretted trying to put them on in the actual store because I was sweating bullets and half dead trying to pull them on in that tiny little room standing up with the attendant outside asking "is everything okay") they make my pants feel too damn big and also make me feel sweaty and uncomfortable anyhow. Plus they cover my stomach and make me feel like I have some sort of alien trying to bust its way out of my stomach and create a new alien/human hybrid race so I'd rather just stick with wearing them for the wedding.
But am I lying to everyone by saying that I am this perfectly shaped person when really I am super lumpy? I usually buy my clothes specifically to make certain that you cannot see these lumps and imperfections because it is more flattering, because I have seen people who like to wear super tight fitting clothes when they are lumpy and bumpy and it's not attractive and I don't want to look that way, but should I be advertising what I really have instead of hiding it? Or do people pretty much know by my general size and demeanor what I've got underneath regardless of whether I broadcast it with tight, ill-fitting clothes or not? I know What Not to Wear has taught me how to dress properly, but maybe I shouldn't be lying to everyone, maybe I should just tell you all the truth and throw the spax away and let it all hang out in my bridesmaid gown and be the lumpy, bumpy bridesmaid.
I bought them to wear with my bridesmaid dress so I do not look funky shaped underneath it and don't really intend on wearing them at any other time because it's 110 degrees out half the time and it's hot enough without adding another layer of clothing on under what I already have to wear. When I have worn them under my capris to the bridal store (because it takes about five minutes just to get the suckers on and the first time I regretted trying to put them on in the actual store because I was sweating bullets and half dead trying to pull them on in that tiny little room standing up with the attendant outside asking "is everything okay") they make my pants feel too damn big and also make me feel sweaty and uncomfortable anyhow. Plus they cover my stomach and make me feel like I have some sort of alien trying to bust its way out of my stomach and create a new alien/human hybrid race so I'd rather just stick with wearing them for the wedding.
But am I lying to everyone by saying that I am this perfectly shaped person when really I am super lumpy? I usually buy my clothes specifically to make certain that you cannot see these lumps and imperfections because it is more flattering, because I have seen people who like to wear super tight fitting clothes when they are lumpy and bumpy and it's not attractive and I don't want to look that way, but should I be advertising what I really have instead of hiding it? Or do people pretty much know by my general size and demeanor what I've got underneath regardless of whether I broadcast it with tight, ill-fitting clothes or not? I know What Not to Wear has taught me how to dress properly, but maybe I shouldn't be lying to everyone, maybe I should just tell you all the truth and throw the spax away and let it all hang out in my bridesmaid gown and be the lumpy, bumpy bridesmaid.