To those friends..
So i thought..what better way to not fall to peices? write a vent. So im sitting here, scott and nicole are sleeping out on the living room floor and late night depression has kicked in, and if you just read you're most likely like "Oh god.. emo." or.."I'll read this later.." and never do... or "I don't know how to help her.." Just a little advice, taking a step up and actually saying you're there to support me is enough, saying you'll listen.. or comfort me in any possible way, is enough and i know it seems like a waste of time.. because no matter what you say or do, the moods come back.. and as stated before i have depression and most of you rather have me take pills that make my pill addiction kick up to full gear then be there for me. Okay, warning before i state this because i don't want you to flip bricks or anything like that.. because at the mention of any form of death people flip out, and at the mention of any form of harm they flip out, so im asking you.. instead of flipping out, read further. Im not actually saying im going to, its just a reference: Its like.. i'd have to slit my wrists, or choke to get anyones attention. and thats completely how it feels.. like i need to almost die, or maybe it wouldn't change a thing.. because when my grannie died, very few of you actually tried to be there.. and i thought you all would, somehow i did. Dissapointed.. i get that alot, i have to learn not to have my heart set on things.. or trust people for that matter.. because in the end its gonna kill me. So if you've read to this point, thanks, you're one of the few people who truly, completely care about me.. or maybe im taking it wrong, maybe you're scared of being there.. but theres no excuse, im your friend! and im suffering, i have been.. so im asking you, step up and be a friend, talk to me, offer advice, physical comfort... make me laugh.. take my mind off it.. anything. Just acknowlage i exist, acknowlage my pain exist's. I can't continue doing this on my own, its so hard.. and it kills.