Sometimes....
There are times when I feel well. There are times when I think things are going to be alright. I have times that are worse than others, but I have, for the most part, forced myself into a functional state. But there are things I need to force myself to learn. Painful as it is, running my head into the same brick wall will do me more damage. I've seen friends here, before, but I don't think I've ever been here. I think I understand them, their choices, better, now. And I will try to take my own advice. I will try.
I stood on mountaintops
That overlooked the world
I can't find anything
Except a void inside
I went to places where
I could forget your name
I can't find anything
Except a void inside
I don't have anything
Because I don't have you
I don't have anything
What can I buy to make
The sky turn blue again
Where can I go to feel
Like I'm alive again
Show me the places
Where I can forget your name
I can't find anything
Except a void inside
I don't have anything
Because I don't have you
I don't have anything
I've been stripped of everything
Except some flesh that bleeds
And I've been robbed of everything
Except a soul, except a soul
That needs...you, sweet you
I don't have anything
Because I don't have you
I don't have anything
Vast - I don't have anything
Beloved, gaze in thine own heart,
The holy tree is growing there;
From joy the holy branches start,
And all the trembling flowers they bear.
The changing colours of its fruit
Have dowered the stars with merry light;
The surety of its hidden root
Has planted quiet in the night;
The shaking of its leafy head
Has given the waves their melody,
And made my lips and music wed,
Murmuring a wizard song for thee.
There the Loves a circle go,
The flaming circle of our days,
Gyring, spiring to and fro
In those great ignorant leafy ways;
Remembering all that shaken hair
And how the winged sandals dart,
Thine eyes grow full of tender care:
Beloved, gaze in thine own heart.
Gaze no more in the bitter glass
The demons, with their subtle guile,
Lift up before us when they pass,
Or only gaze a little while;
For there a fatal image grows
That the stormy night recieves,
Roots half hidden under snows,
Broken boughs and blackened leaves.
For all things turn to barrenness
In the dim glass the demons hold,
The glass of outer weariness,
Made when God slept in times of old.
There, through the broken branches, go
The ravens of unresting thought;
Flying, crying, to and fro,
Cruel claw and hungry throat,
Or else they stand and sniff the wind,
And shake their ragged wings; alas!
Thy tender eyes grow all unkind:
Gaze no more in the bitter glass.
The Two Trees - W. B. Yeats
I haven't posted much, the last bit, I haven't been well, when I haven't been busy. Mostly.
I don't know what to do. I feel I keep sliding back. I have days where my thoughts are so jumbled, I don't know how to feel. I'm so conflicted on so many things. and sometimes, just hopeless.
There was a game we used to play
We would hit the town on Friday night
And stay in bed until Sunday
We used to be so free
We were living for the love we had and
Living not for reality
It was just my imagination
It was just my imagination
It was just my imagination
There was a time I used to pray
I have always kept my faith in love
It's the greatest thing from the man above...
I stood on mountaintops
That overlooked the world
I can't find anything
Except a void inside
I went to places where
I could forget your name
I can't find anything
Except a void inside
I don't have anything
Because I don't have you
I don't have anything
What can I buy to make
The sky turn blue again
Where can I go to feel
Like I'm alive again
Show me the places
Where I can forget your name
I can't find anything
Except a void inside
I don't have anything
Because I don't have you
I don't have anything
I've been stripped of everything
Except some flesh that bleeds
And I've been robbed of everything
Except a soul, except a soul
That needs...you, sweet you
I don't have anything
Because I don't have you
I don't have anything
Vast - I don't have anything
Beloved, gaze in thine own heart,
The holy tree is growing there;
From joy the holy branches start,
And all the trembling flowers they bear.
The changing colours of its fruit
Have dowered the stars with merry light;
The surety of its hidden root
Has planted quiet in the night;
The shaking of its leafy head
Has given the waves their melody,
And made my lips and music wed,
Murmuring a wizard song for thee.
There the Loves a circle go,
The flaming circle of our days,
Gyring, spiring to and fro
In those great ignorant leafy ways;
Remembering all that shaken hair
And how the winged sandals dart,
Thine eyes grow full of tender care:
Beloved, gaze in thine own heart.
Gaze no more in the bitter glass
The demons, with their subtle guile,
Lift up before us when they pass,
Or only gaze a little while;
For there a fatal image grows
That the stormy night recieves,
Roots half hidden under snows,
Broken boughs and blackened leaves.
For all things turn to barrenness
In the dim glass the demons hold,
The glass of outer weariness,
Made when God slept in times of old.
There, through the broken branches, go
The ravens of unresting thought;
Flying, crying, to and fro,
Cruel claw and hungry throat,
Or else they stand and sniff the wind,
And shake their ragged wings; alas!
Thy tender eyes grow all unkind:
Gaze no more in the bitter glass.
The Two Trees - W. B. Yeats
I haven't posted much, the last bit, I haven't been well, when I haven't been busy. Mostly.
I don't know what to do. I feel I keep sliding back. I have days where my thoughts are so jumbled, I don't know how to feel. I'm so conflicted on so many things. and sometimes, just hopeless.
There was a game we used to play
We would hit the town on Friday night
And stay in bed until Sunday
We used to be so free
We were living for the love we had and
Living not for reality
It was just my imagination
It was just my imagination
It was just my imagination
There was a time I used to pray
I have always kept my faith in love
It's the greatest thing from the man above...