honorary mentions
i have some direction and desire in my life to chase those dreams that always seem to be just out of reach. those few people who've been with me through so much know how easilly i gave up on my dream of being an artist. so, for the fellas, thanks. this is to the guys that never gave up belief in me and my abilities. b. pape. shaunbaby. jer. dustin. paco. mongy. even brian. you guys pushed me and believed in my even when i didn't. that means so much, guys....and if any of you ever read this, know i say thanks from the heart.
as for the ladies.....i'll mention the 3 who had the greatest impact on my desire to continue to follow my dreams....
so, to the first, thanks for making me realize that my life had derailed. while i could have had everything, i only saw nothing, and had it not been for you pointing that out to me, i never would have moved from the rut that i fell into. sure our ending was far from perfect, but i walked away knowing that the man i was isn't the man i should be. so for that you have a world of gratitude
to the second, you were my muse. i hadn't had the passion to draw or paint in years. sure i worked on powerjeff that one summer before we met for the first time, but you came along and ignited that spark that made me remember why i loved painting so much. you got my creative mojo working again, and you believed in me and pushed me to create. in the end, i wasn't someone you wanted, and i can't fault you for that. i do thank you for making me realize how much i love creating.
and to the last. while there would be so much to thank you for, i'll limit it to how thankful i am for you lighting a fucking fire up under my ass. you made me realize that ultimate happiness lies in creation. what i mean is, if you hadn't come along and unknowingly worked that magic you did, i wouldn't have realized how much i desire the need to benifit from my own creations. the fact that i am the one who needs to be my own taskmaster and i will ultimately find a sense of fullfillment by creating with my own hands.....or at the very least, sharing that ability to create with others. if i am able to make something with my own grubby mitts that someone enjoys and i manage to make almost half a living at it, then i would have found something that gives me a sense of purpose and artistic fullfillment in life. whether that creation lies in tattoos or paintings or comics or christmas cards or furniture, at the end of the day, i can smile knowing that someone is happy with what i made for them. so, for that unknown gesture of assbooting, i tip my hat to you mamm.
in the end, the final card rests in my hand. i have a feeling that by this time next year, we'll know where i ended up and how much god it all was. cheers to all, and if you read this, tonight, drink a beer for me, because you damn well bet i'm drinking one for all of you.
as for the ladies.....i'll mention the 3 who had the greatest impact on my desire to continue to follow my dreams....
so, to the first, thanks for making me realize that my life had derailed. while i could have had everything, i only saw nothing, and had it not been for you pointing that out to me, i never would have moved from the rut that i fell into. sure our ending was far from perfect, but i walked away knowing that the man i was isn't the man i should be. so for that you have a world of gratitude
to the second, you were my muse. i hadn't had the passion to draw or paint in years. sure i worked on powerjeff that one summer before we met for the first time, but you came along and ignited that spark that made me remember why i loved painting so much. you got my creative mojo working again, and you believed in me and pushed me to create. in the end, i wasn't someone you wanted, and i can't fault you for that. i do thank you for making me realize how much i love creating.
and to the last. while there would be so much to thank you for, i'll limit it to how thankful i am for you lighting a fucking fire up under my ass. you made me realize that ultimate happiness lies in creation. what i mean is, if you hadn't come along and unknowingly worked that magic you did, i wouldn't have realized how much i desire the need to benifit from my own creations. the fact that i am the one who needs to be my own taskmaster and i will ultimately find a sense of fullfillment by creating with my own hands.....or at the very least, sharing that ability to create with others. if i am able to make something with my own grubby mitts that someone enjoys and i manage to make almost half a living at it, then i would have found something that gives me a sense of purpose and artistic fullfillment in life. whether that creation lies in tattoos or paintings or comics or christmas cards or furniture, at the end of the day, i can smile knowing that someone is happy with what i made for them. so, for that unknown gesture of assbooting, i tip my hat to you mamm.
in the end, the final card rests in my hand. i have a feeling that by this time next year, we'll know where i ended up and how much god it all was. cheers to all, and if you read this, tonight, drink a beer for me, because you damn well bet i'm drinking one for all of you.