(no subject)
Listen to this you bitch. Yes, I am drunk. I haven't been for quite some time but hey even the best of us trickle down into the slums. What's funny is that I am proud. Proud and angry as I stand before a memory that seems to be a lie. How could it be true if this is where we are? Where is the missing piece of the puzzle? It's not you, or the bullshit answers you've fed me. Yes, I ate them like a dog, and I loved you for your scraps, begged for more. Why? Because I was sick, I am still sick, sick with that stupid fucking word that is "love." But I'll be clean of it soon, as soon as I have killed it off. Not by sleeping with others, because deep down I'd still love you, but by destroying myself thus killing the cause of any love. I will no longer love myself so I can no longer love from myself. Perhaps one day I will truly be free, as of now I would cut to the bone just to be able to see the light of day without privately hoping for your return, to see your face. This foolishness makes unworthy to die or live. So I am left in the middle of existence until I let go and move on.