Title: The Sniffles
Author: Ema (
lightningrapier)
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Pairing: Phoenix/Edgeworth
Rating: PG
Warnings: None!
Word Count: 1,618.
Notes: Takes place... sometime. Probably after 2-5?
Disclaimer: Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth, Maya Fey, and the Ace Attorney franchise are property of Capcom.
There was the "It's winter, so it's getting cold outside" cold (as if it ever really got cold enough for that in Los Angeles) and the "Why is this happening it is summertime" cold and the "April showers bring drenched clothes from walking home from work and you know what that means" cold, but the kind of cold Phoenix Wright got most often was the "One person who rode on this subway today felt a little under the weather and now as a result you're ragingly sick because you have what is possibly the world's worst immune system" cold.
He'd had court that day, and he'd sneezed and sniffled and coughed his way through Edgeworth's opening statements with so much ferocity that the Judge had actually leaned over his desk and asked if they'd needed to reschedule. Edgeworth's smug amusement pressed Phoenix to heartily decline despite how badly he knew he'd rather be in bed.
Still, when they were all dismissed hours later (no verdict yet - the case had come to a standstill when investigators in Gumshoe's office realized they'd lost a key piece of evidence they had to tear the station apart to find and court had been adjourned in the interim), Phoenix made a quick apology to Maya along with an excuse and a $10 bill.
"Sorry, Maya - I know we had plans tonight. Get yourself a cheeseburger and a bus ticket back home," he said. The new Steel Samurai movie Maya had made plans to drag him to would have to wait. Phoenix didn't really think the rest of the theatre patrons would appreciate him coughing and sneezing throughout the entire thing, anyway. "We'll do tomorrow if I'm feeling better."
Maya stuck her tongue out at him, snatching the money.
"You need to buy yourself a better immune system, Nick!" she said, tucking the bill away into her pocket. "But I guess that would probably be outside your budget."
"Tell me about it." Phoenix sighed, checking his watch. It had been about ten minutes since court had adjourned and most of the crowd had dissipated. Miles Edgeworth would probably be about to come out, in that case. He always liked to wait for the crowd to leave before he went out to his car. "See you tomorrow?"
"Yep! We gotta get Ms. Delaney an acquittal!" She pumped her fist, excited, before suddenly surging forward and wrapping Phoenix in a quick hug. "Get some rest, Nick! I'll enjoy an extra cheeseburger in your honor!"
"You do that." Phoenix squeezed Maya in return and she pulled away, waving before turning and racing off in the direction of the nearest Happy Burger.
Maya. Predictable.
Speaking of predictable...
"Are you still here, Wright?" a cool voice asked from behind. Phoenix turned, glancing over his shoulder before turning completely. It was Edgeworth, leather briefcase in one hand, grabbing for his pocketed car keys with the other. "I thought you would be on your way to the hospital by now."
Phoenix managed a smile. "Sorry, you can't get rid of me that easily."
"Clearly not." Edgeworth retrieved his keys - sensible, just a simple keyring with an electronic sensor, a car key, two silver keys (one to his house, the other to his office?), and a smaller key, maybe to a desk drawer. Phoenix followed his gaze across the outside sidewalk they were standing on and towards the parking lot - Edgeworth's fancy red convertible stood out. Phoenix didn't have a car, himself, but he figured if he did it would probably be a whole lot like the clunker Gumshoe drove with the paint wearing, taped on back lights, and a dragging tail pipe.
Sometimes that was how he felt standing next to the put-together fashionable and good-looking prosecutor, anyway. It wasn't any better on days when he was sick and his pockets were stuffed full of tissues and cough drops.
"Well." Edgeworth glanced towards him, gaze lingering just a moment. "I will see you tomorrow, Wright. Rest well for your defeat."
He began to walk towards the parking lot but Phoenix followed, determined, quickly striking up conversation. "Defeat? Really?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. "After Gumshoe's guys lost that evidence? Sounds to me like you've barely even got the case together." Probably not the best way to get on Edgeworth's good side. Miles' lips pressed together in a frown and his pace increased, remotely unlocking the car as he approached it.
"I appreciate your concern, Wright, however--" Edgeworth opened the driver's side back door, setting his briefcase in the backseat, "--I am certain that, if Detective Gumshoe is interested in keeping his job or ever working in law enforcement again, he will make certain to find the evidence before court tomorrow. Unfortunately, you are not going to win that easily." He turned towards Phoenix, his pose stiff and unwelcoming. Phoenix could read that body language very well. "Now, may I ask why you are still following me? Or are you just that eager to have yet more in common with a stray dog?"
The insult was clever if not a bit strange, and Phoenix normally would have taken a second to appreciate it but he suddenly sneezed once, then twice, then once more, suddenly leaning against Miles' car, a hand going to his mouth. Once they stopped, thankfully, Phoenix stood immobile for just a moment, blinking, trying to recover. Damn.
"Charming," Miles said, deadpanned. Phoenix managed to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand - a movement that caused Miles to wrinkle his forehead in what was probably disgust - before straightening, pointedly clearing his throat.
"Uhg... Sorry. Actually, there is something else I wanted to ask you."
"Mmm. And what would that be?" Edgeworth asked, checking his wristwatch (which was probably worth more than Phoenix's entire wardrobe), mimicking complete disinterest.
"I was thinking you could come home with me tonight."
Even sick, Phoenix flashed his most charming smile. The look of complete and utter shock that passed over Edgeworth's face was worth the feeling he was making a total idiot out of himself.
Lowering his voice, Miles' eyes - usually a hard, cold grey - seemed to be lit up. Phoenix would have grinned if it wouldn't be so inappropriate to the situation at hand. "Wright," he practically hissed. "This is not the picture of discretion."
When Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth - a defense attorney and a prosecutor - had started their strange sort of relationship, Edgeworth had been firm to set down "ground rules". For one, their relationship stayed completely behind closed doors - there would be no public dates (any dinners or movies were 'at home' affairs), no admissions to any friends or family about any change in relationship, and absolutely, under no circumstances, any mention of anything that could be construed as being related to any sort of relationship in public. (Public included a wide variety of places most people would consider private, such as Miles' office.)
The rules weren't really surprising to Phoenix. Reputation was almighty to Edgeworth - a trait he'd had even as a child, but something that had grown to uncontrollable levels after living with (and practically becoming a) von Karma. Same-sex relationships weren't as widely accepted as they could be, but that wasn't really the issue. Anything that would cast a distasteful color on his career - such as, for example, sleeping with a defense attorney - wouldn't be tolerated. (Really, Phoenix supposed, he should consider himself lucky the relationship existed in any form at all.) Edgeworth had already suffered from accusations of falsifying evidence and other dirty tricks to get his verdict. Facing more (more colorful) allegations wasn't exactly the best career move for LA's High Prosecutor.
Phoenix had to admit that he wasn't really looking forward to something like that coming down on him, either - but Edgeworth seemed just too damn rigid. And how did you break in a new pair of shoes, or the brim to a hat, or a baseball glove? By irritating it, of course.
It was kind of Phoenix's speciality.
Phoenix fumbled in his pocket, pulling out a throat lozenge and popping it into his mouth. "Suit yourself," he said, looking glum. "I was just hoping, you know, I could get you to take care of me."
"You'll get me sick," Miles muttered, voice still low. There was a pause. For a moment, Phoenix honestly thought the conversation might be ending there. But Edgeworth sighed just as Phoenix shrugged and turned to walk towards the bus stop, holding up a hand.
"Besides, Wright," he muttered, "I have no desire to go to your germ-infested apartment."
But the way he'd said it...
Phoenix lit up, turning back towards him. "So we'll go to your place?" he asked, hopeful.
Edgeworth sighed raggedly, casting about a furtive glance. "Get in the car. If anyone asks, I'm driving you to the bank because you owe me a large amount of money."
Phoenix wrinkled his nose. As if he'd borrow money from Edgeworth. Still, Miles had caved, and that was a cause for celebration. As if on cue, Phoenix went to clear his throat before speaking, only to dissolve into a fit of coughing.
"Try not to do that in the car," Edgeworth advised, sliding into the driver's seat. Phoenix waited for the fit to pass before sliding in, lying back against the cool leather seat and closing his eyes. God, the chair was comfortable. His face was in so much pain, the pressure around his nose and just behind his eyes enough to make his head throb in pain. Between that and the sniffles and the sneezes and coughs and the fever he was sure he was running, Phoenix just wanted to fall into Edgeworth's comfortable bed and drift to sleep.
Maybe not the most exciting night, but it held a sort of comfortable romance to it just the same.