[writers_muses 68.4]
Everyone loves to talk about their favorite holiday moments. We want your muse to take a walk on the darker side. Share an experience they'd rather not relive, whether it be because of the company or something far worse.
Canon. They don't have Christmas in BSG-verse, to my knowledge, so this is about birthdays.
Her mother thought holidays were stupid, especially birthdays.
"Why should I celebrate that? It was painful, Kara, and your father left me three days after I brought you home. Besides, celebrating birthdays is selfish--if anyone should get presents, it should be me. What did you do to deserve anything?" A cluck of the tongue and a shake of the head, and there was her mother's answer to can I have a stuffed animal for my birthday, Mama? "No, if you want presents for something, then you go do something that deserves presents. No one is going to throw you a party just for existing."
Kara had been six years old when her mother told her that, and she never forgot it. But she never stopped waking up every morning on her birthday and hoping maybe this time would be different, maybe this time she'd done something really good and her Mama would buy her a birthday present. Because she'd have to go to school and make up something that her Mama got her, because everyone knew it was her birthday and they would ask. And Kara didn't know how to answer that question because it made her feel all funny when they asked, so she came up with something like a Viper! and everyone laughed at her and then she had to punch them.
Then she got sent home and punished, and that's how she spent her birthday.
So by the time she turned ten, everyone at school knew that if you asked weirdo Kara Thrace what she got for her birthday, she'd punch you in the face. So no one asked, and no one got her a card or a gift or anything, because by then everyone thought she just hated her birthday. Worse, though, they thought she hated birthdays just in general, and so she never got invited to anyone else's, because what kind of mom wanted a birthday-hating little girl that'd give you a punch to the face as a present at their daughter's birthday party?
And so Kara, because she was Kara, just started hating her birthday. Because everyone else thought she did, and if they knew she really did want a present or a cake, or even that she'd be just fine with watching someone else have presents and a cake, then they would think she was weak and pathetic and Kara hated that. She didn't want their pity! Her Mama said that was the worst thing anyone could ever give you, and Kara thought maybe her Mama was right about that.
Except one year, she was in the hospital on her birthday because she'd fallen down the stairs (that's what Mama said to say, I fell down the stairs, not anything about breaking Mama's bottle and spilling on the carpet or being shoved while standing too close to the stairs, her own fault anyway, she was clumsy), and the nurse saw on her chart that it was her birthday.
"Oh!" the nurse said, and touched her hand to Kara's hair gently, which made Kara flinch because she didn't like that. "It's your birthday, Kara. How about that!"
And Kara almost said, like she always did, "I hate my birthday," but she couldn't because the nurse had already left. And later, the doctors came in and sang and brought her a teddy bear from the gift shop downstairs. Kara went to sleep with the teddy bear and thought that even though she was in the hospital and her ankle hurt and she missed her Mama (because you were supposed to miss the person who love and took care of you), that maybe this was the best birthday she'd ever had. The teddy bear was soft and she put her face in its fur and it was better than anything at helping her get to sleep.
Except when her Mama came to pick her up and take her home, she found out about the bear and wouldn't let Kara bring it with her. "I told you, only good little girls get birthday presents. You didn't do anything good, did you, Kara? You knocked something of mine over, and then you fell down the stairs and had to go to the hospital. Do you know how much your bill is going to be? Do you think you deserve a present?"
And Kara said no, she probably didn't, and asked her Mama if maybe she could give it to another little girl in the hospital who had been good. But her mother said it had Kara's germs on it and they wouldn't let her give it to anyone else, and made her throw it in the trash outside by the car. Kara cried really quietly the whole way home and decided that having the things you wanted only meant they got taken away from you, so maybe it was just better not to want anything at all.
Canon. They don't have Christmas in BSG-verse, to my knowledge, so this is about birthdays.
Her mother thought holidays were stupid, especially birthdays.
"Why should I celebrate that? It was painful, Kara, and your father left me three days after I brought you home. Besides, celebrating birthdays is selfish--if anyone should get presents, it should be me. What did you do to deserve anything?" A cluck of the tongue and a shake of the head, and there was her mother's answer to can I have a stuffed animal for my birthday, Mama? "No, if you want presents for something, then you go do something that deserves presents. No one is going to throw you a party just for existing."
Kara had been six years old when her mother told her that, and she never forgot it. But she never stopped waking up every morning on her birthday and hoping maybe this time would be different, maybe this time she'd done something really good and her Mama would buy her a birthday present. Because she'd have to go to school and make up something that her Mama got her, because everyone knew it was her birthday and they would ask. And Kara didn't know how to answer that question because it made her feel all funny when they asked, so she came up with something like a Viper! and everyone laughed at her and then she had to punch them.
Then she got sent home and punished, and that's how she spent her birthday.
So by the time she turned ten, everyone at school knew that if you asked weirdo Kara Thrace what she got for her birthday, she'd punch you in the face. So no one asked, and no one got her a card or a gift or anything, because by then everyone thought she just hated her birthday. Worse, though, they thought she hated birthdays just in general, and so she never got invited to anyone else's, because what kind of mom wanted a birthday-hating little girl that'd give you a punch to the face as a present at their daughter's birthday party?
And so Kara, because she was Kara, just started hating her birthday. Because everyone else thought she did, and if they knew she really did want a present or a cake, or even that she'd be just fine with watching someone else have presents and a cake, then they would think she was weak and pathetic and Kara hated that. She didn't want their pity! Her Mama said that was the worst thing anyone could ever give you, and Kara thought maybe her Mama was right about that.
Except one year, she was in the hospital on her birthday because she'd fallen down the stairs (that's what Mama said to say, I fell down the stairs, not anything about breaking Mama's bottle and spilling on the carpet or being shoved while standing too close to the stairs, her own fault anyway, she was clumsy), and the nurse saw on her chart that it was her birthday.
"Oh!" the nurse said, and touched her hand to Kara's hair gently, which made Kara flinch because she didn't like that. "It's your birthday, Kara. How about that!"
And Kara almost said, like she always did, "I hate my birthday," but she couldn't because the nurse had already left. And later, the doctors came in and sang and brought her a teddy bear from the gift shop downstairs. Kara went to sleep with the teddy bear and thought that even though she was in the hospital and her ankle hurt and she missed her Mama (because you were supposed to miss the person who love and took care of you), that maybe this was the best birthday she'd ever had. The teddy bear was soft and she put her face in its fur and it was better than anything at helping her get to sleep.
Except when her Mama came to pick her up and take her home, she found out about the bear and wouldn't let Kara bring it with her. "I told you, only good little girls get birthday presents. You didn't do anything good, did you, Kara? You knocked something of mine over, and then you fell down the stairs and had to go to the hospital. Do you know how much your bill is going to be? Do you think you deserve a present?"
And Kara said no, she probably didn't, and asked her Mama if maybe she could give it to another little girl in the hospital who had been good. But her mother said it had Kara's germs on it and they wouldn't let her give it to anyone else, and made her throw it in the trash outside by the car. Kara cried really quietly the whole way home and decided that having the things you wanted only meant they got taken away from you, so maybe it was just better not to want anything at all.