follow the breathings of his heart- Drabble/one shot, RUKI/KAI

[buriedinheart]

 
Title: Follow the breathings of his heart
Chapter: Drabble/oneshot
Author: Buriedinheart
Genre: Romance, fluff?
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I own no one.
Rating: g
Pairing: Ruki X Kai
Bands: the GazettE
Synopsis: Studying and emotions don't go well together
Comments: My lit exam's tomorrow but i have really lost all motivation to study, i thought that

Comments

Rather impressed.

[icchatta_ne]

Ruki laughs and it sounds exactly like stardust would, sprinkling all over the tiny, dusty apartment that is claustrophobic and small and stifling and not big enough for their hopes and dreams. ... a brilliant start, it's been a while since I've read one.

Kai smiles, coyly, silently as his heart yearns to touch the boy sitting beside him, the boy with the crinkled eyes and the cute laugh and the soft fingers ghosting the pages of his math textbook. This is what paragraph 3? and already the strings in my chest are playing a wonderful melody, so descriptively cute.

'X+ Y = cigarettes X coffee = you and i studying hopelessly ... creativity, is always SO appreciated.

Ruki stops laughing then, the laughter dying off, trailing off like a comet would across the darkest night sky, leaving silence to settle in oppressively once more. He yawns then, fingers clutching a cigarette, the flame disappearing for a moment as the stick lights up. this part made it ever so vivid how this are high school students you are talking about. Normally when smoking you don't think of a teenager, but even if you do it is mentioned. Here as you explain his laughter "trialing like a comet" it is something very young and connected with smoke, it is a strong feeling that reminds you ... this are not adult. Good.

Kai doesn't know, he doesn't think, he just follows the breathings of his heart -
Nice and well written word play, wasn't confusing and straight to the point.

And all is right in Kai's world, the scales balancing in favour of love and all that is beautiful in life, because he has finally listened to the breathings of his heart, and he only sees stars and comets, the water ebbing and flowing in rhythm to his shaky breathing. Like ... DAMN ... That is how constructive I am going to be about this part.

I loved this. I am very impressed, and you are definitely going to be this week's suggestion! Keep up the good woork miss/mr.! I'll be watching out for you~

Re: Rather impressed.

[buriedinheart]

Ohmygod you are a critic! lovely ! haha that's a proper change from all the other comments i usually get, like 'i love this' (although they are really great and they make me so happy as well) and i appreciate you giving me such positive feedback on my writing, you even broke it down! you're rather amazing, thanks for taking time to write this entire comment. im a miss, ahaa :) i was quite surprised when i read your comment. thank you! i will be updating this journal with my written fics ( i have them written already, just going through some self editing) so do keep a look out out for them! i appreciate negative and constructive criticism as well, and your comment was just.. lovely :) thanks again.

Re: Rather impressed.

[icchatta_ne]

Hahahah you are so cute miss lol.
I am just a wannabe writer myself, and I guess a beginner critique, but I can put subject, verb, and complement object (if needed) in the right order, so I thought it nice to start leaving "constructive criticism" (^ ^" )

Yup, well said, every comment is important either it be ":D" or something more detailed like mine, a good author can realize that *thumbs up to you for that*.

Keep it up ne? See you around~

Re: Rather impressed.

[buriedinheart]

yeah of course thats for sure :) thanks for making your presence known! ^^