Erin's Step-by-Step Guide to Losing Weight FAST!

Jun 06, 2007 15:36

Step 1: Get a bacterial infection.
Step 2: Get a prescription for antibiotics.
Step 3: Don't drink enough water with your antibiotics so that they irritate your stomach lining and give you one helluva case of gastritis.
Step 4: Eventually go back to the doctor and get medicine for gastritis
Step 5: Until you see the doctor and the medicine starts working (which apparently takes a long time), avoid any and all foods & beverages which contain any acid, spices, milk, fats, carbonation, or caffiene
Step 5.1: This leads to eating nothing except breads, vegetables, some meats, and water.
Step 6: Only eat about half of your meals, no matter how small, since the aforementioned foods will still set your stomach on fire.
Step 7: Although it won't help you lose weight, make sure to wake up at least twice every night and eat saltine crackers so that you won't start throwing-up stomach bile in the morning.

In short, that is the Hell which I have been going through for the past 3 weeks.

Anyway...

I have a 5-page paper due tomorrow, but thankfully it only needs to be a "draft". Still, I'd appreciate helpful feedback on it from my classmates, so I'm motivated to acually do a good job on it tonight. So far, I have an outline. ...okay, not so much an "outline" persay, but a piece of paper with words written on it. The words include:

Antlers - (steppes)
Lions/Tigers
Zoomorphism
Functions
Placement in tomb
Apotropaic
Sancai glaze
Taotie
Psychological effects (with an arrow pointing up to "Apotropaic")
sign of imperial status
evolution (stylistically)

In short, plenty of topics for a 5-page paper. Now all I have to do is write the damn thing. Here I go!
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