Ficlet | Becoming, Became
Title: Becoming, Became
Author: attilatehbun
Fandom: Young Avengers
Pairing/Characters: Billy Kaplan/Teddy Altman
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 800+
Summary: Teddy still isn't sure what he did to get to this point.
A/N: pellucere asked for a timestamp of 1 month later for whatever's willing will yourself become. Reading that is not necessary, but I suppose it is helpful.
::
Billy is in his bed.
Teddy still can't quite get over that. Billy is in his bed. Billy is in his bed. Billy is in his bed. No matter how many times he thinks it, no matter how many times it happens, Teddy can't really believe it. All the possible directions his life has taken, is taking, could still take, and the one where Billy is in his bed, shirtless, yeah, Teddy has trouble with the fact that that's the one that's happening. A month ago Billy Shirtless In Teddy's Bed only just ranked above Teddy somehow becoming the first mutant/whatever President of the United States. It is still pretty hard to come to terms with the fact that Teddy actually managed to find a shape that could let this happen.
Because Billy is in Teddy's bed, and Billy is not wearing a shirt, and yeah okay, he put his jeans back on but he didn't bother to fasten them back up and Teddy can see a hint of Billy's Batsignal boxers and that's. That is really kind of amazing.
Billy is sitting in Teddy's bed, and he's not wearing his shirt, and he's eating a mini pizza - just tearing bits of it off with his fingers - and talking about...something. To be perfectly honest, Teddy isn't entirely sure what Billy's talking about. Teddy is too busy watching the shape of his mouth, how it curves around the words, how the muscles in his jaw clench every time he sticks a piece of chewy cheesy crust between his teeth and bites down.
There's a bruise blooming across Billy's ribs. It's spreading tentative fingers, angry, purpling, poisonous looking fingers, out over Billy's chest, just below his nipple. Looking at the bruise makes Teddy angry, though admittedly not as angry as usual. Looking at Billy's bruises always makes Teddy angry, given where most of them have come from in the past, but Teddy knows that this one at least came from fighting crime. It's the type of bruise Billy would want. And earlier, Teddy had been allowed to mouth all around the edges of the bruise, press kisses into the deepest hurts, and Billy had gasped in ways that no aspect of Teddy's imagination had ever been able to dream up.
That's something that Teddy's allowed to do now. He's allowed to feel protective of all of Billy's hurts, he's allowed to try to find a way to make them better. Which, wow. It was not all that long ago that Billy disappeared for a heart-shattering second, and Teddy's universe had ground to a halt. He had been ready to rip the world in half to get that universe restarted, to get Billy back. Feeling like that, feeling like that about Billy, that's his. That's not something anyone else is trying to get him to do or feel, it's something he wants to feel, and he's allowed. He's allowed to need to tear the world to pieces without having to justify it or couch it in someone else's wants.
How did he do that? How did he get that to happen? In a life full of knowing how to be what other people wanted, not knowing what he's done, who he's become, should leave him feeling empty and unsure, but he feels more full than he has any right to. He has no reason to feel so full, so sure, especially since this time he's not actually sure he's shifted anything at all.
Billy reaches over and hooks a finger under the waistband of Teddy's boxers. It actually surprises him that he didn't see it coming. It also kind of disappoints him because Billy's finger isn't anywhere near close enough to where Teddy might hope.
"Teddy, are you even listening to me?" Billy says, tugging on the elastic.
"Um, no?" Teddy says and ducks his head a little. He more feels Billy roll his eyes than actually sees it.
"Why do I put up with you?" Billy says. He tugs on Teddy's waistband again and leans forward with familiar ease. Teddy leans in to meet him, open, expecting the kiss, so when Billy shoves a piece of the mini pizza into his mouth he's surprised into sputtering, trying to not choke on lava-grade melted cheese.
Billy laughs and Teddy can't help but laugh with him, even before his mouth is clear. He pulls Billy in by the back of his neck anyway and kisses him, still laughing, just because he can.
"You are ridiculous," Billy says once he pulls back.
"Takes one to know one," Teddy says.
"Maybe it does," Billy says, "but I'm pretty glad we can both know."
And that. That's pretty amazing. Because Teddy is here, sitting with Billy, in his bed, and all Teddy is is ridiculous. Because six months ago, nothing he could have made himself be would have made this happen. Because what he wants to be is ridiculous, and maybe what he needs to be is ridiculous, but for the first time, needs and wants aren't factoring into Teddy's Shifting Analysis.
He just is.
::fin::
Author: attilatehbun
Fandom: Young Avengers
Pairing/Characters: Billy Kaplan/Teddy Altman
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 800+
Summary: Teddy still isn't sure what he did to get to this point.
A/N: pellucere asked for a timestamp of 1 month later for whatever's willing will yourself become. Reading that is not necessary, but I suppose it is helpful.
::
Billy is in his bed.
Teddy still can't quite get over that. Billy is in his bed. Billy is in his bed. Billy is in his bed. No matter how many times he thinks it, no matter how many times it happens, Teddy can't really believe it. All the possible directions his life has taken, is taking, could still take, and the one where Billy is in his bed, shirtless, yeah, Teddy has trouble with the fact that that's the one that's happening. A month ago Billy Shirtless In Teddy's Bed only just ranked above Teddy somehow becoming the first mutant/whatever President of the United States. It is still pretty hard to come to terms with the fact that Teddy actually managed to find a shape that could let this happen.
Because Billy is in Teddy's bed, and Billy is not wearing a shirt, and yeah okay, he put his jeans back on but he didn't bother to fasten them back up and Teddy can see a hint of Billy's Batsignal boxers and that's. That is really kind of amazing.
Billy is sitting in Teddy's bed, and he's not wearing his shirt, and he's eating a mini pizza - just tearing bits of it off with his fingers - and talking about...something. To be perfectly honest, Teddy isn't entirely sure what Billy's talking about. Teddy is too busy watching the shape of his mouth, how it curves around the words, how the muscles in his jaw clench every time he sticks a piece of chewy cheesy crust between his teeth and bites down.
There's a bruise blooming across Billy's ribs. It's spreading tentative fingers, angry, purpling, poisonous looking fingers, out over Billy's chest, just below his nipple. Looking at the bruise makes Teddy angry, though admittedly not as angry as usual. Looking at Billy's bruises always makes Teddy angry, given where most of them have come from in the past, but Teddy knows that this one at least came from fighting crime. It's the type of bruise Billy would want. And earlier, Teddy had been allowed to mouth all around the edges of the bruise, press kisses into the deepest hurts, and Billy had gasped in ways that no aspect of Teddy's imagination had ever been able to dream up.
That's something that Teddy's allowed to do now. He's allowed to feel protective of all of Billy's hurts, he's allowed to try to find a way to make them better. Which, wow. It was not all that long ago that Billy disappeared for a heart-shattering second, and Teddy's universe had ground to a halt. He had been ready to rip the world in half to get that universe restarted, to get Billy back. Feeling like that, feeling like that about Billy, that's his. That's not something anyone else is trying to get him to do or feel, it's something he wants to feel, and he's allowed. He's allowed to need to tear the world to pieces without having to justify it or couch it in someone else's wants.
How did he do that? How did he get that to happen? In a life full of knowing how to be what other people wanted, not knowing what he's done, who he's become, should leave him feeling empty and unsure, but he feels more full than he has any right to. He has no reason to feel so full, so sure, especially since this time he's not actually sure he's shifted anything at all.
Billy reaches over and hooks a finger under the waistband of Teddy's boxers. It actually surprises him that he didn't see it coming. It also kind of disappoints him because Billy's finger isn't anywhere near close enough to where Teddy might hope.
"Teddy, are you even listening to me?" Billy says, tugging on the elastic.
"Um, no?" Teddy says and ducks his head a little. He more feels Billy roll his eyes than actually sees it.
"Why do I put up with you?" Billy says. He tugs on Teddy's waistband again and leans forward with familiar ease. Teddy leans in to meet him, open, expecting the kiss, so when Billy shoves a piece of the mini pizza into his mouth he's surprised into sputtering, trying to not choke on lava-grade melted cheese.
Billy laughs and Teddy can't help but laugh with him, even before his mouth is clear. He pulls Billy in by the back of his neck anyway and kisses him, still laughing, just because he can.
"You are ridiculous," Billy says once he pulls back.
"Takes one to know one," Teddy says.
"Maybe it does," Billy says, "but I'm pretty glad we can both know."
And that. That's pretty amazing. Because Teddy is here, sitting with Billy, in his bed, and all Teddy is is ridiculous. Because six months ago, nothing he could have made himself be would have made this happen. Because what he wants to be is ridiculous, and maybe what he needs to be is ridiculous, but for the first time, needs and wants aren't factoring into Teddy's Shifting Analysis.
He just is.
::fin::