Audio!

[bunchasavages]

Do you ever get the feeling that every week, it's like the Admiral assigned two-thirds of the people here an essay topic and told them if they get it done before Saturday, he'll jerk 'em off? I'm pretty sure that's what's going on, because holy shit, everyone's got something to say, and no one's even trying to get bonus points for originality

Comments

[goodgrasshopper]

[Oh, Randal. The fact that your brain is set to random makes Molly laugh.]

Kermit the Frog. I want to know what the real deal is with him and Miss piggy.

[bunchasavages]

Oh, come on. You know the real reason he's not retired and living the high life in Costa Rica with a bunch of beautiful Poison Dart Frogs is because he has to keep making those retarded movies to pay for the unholy, mutated pig-toads the hog surprised him with twenty years ago.

When a horde of snout-nose tadpoles start oinking "daddy" at you, asking for paternity tests seems a little superfluous.

[goodgrasshopper]

[laughing] Yeah, a bit. But the unholy mutants should be about grown now--maybe it's time for him to head to Costa Rica. But he stays. Maybe he just likes the abuse.

[bunchasavages]

I've seen guys stick around with abusive nutjobs for worse reasons than accidental mutant spawn.

[goodgrasshopper]

And if he likes it, it's probably not much of a hardship. You know, he was on Reading Rainbow when I was a kid, looking up books on how to keep a pig happy. A little quid pro quo, maybe?

[bunchasavages]

If I had to live the rest of my little green life with Miss Piggy, you'd think it would be her looking up books on how to keep a frog happy.

It doesn't take a lot to keep pigs happy, anyway. They orgasm for thirty minutes.

The more you know.

[goodgrasshopper]

...Yeah, she should definitely be more worried about keeping him happy. Wonder why she's so uptight?

[rayney_day]

Somehow, you never fail to astonish me...

[bunchasavages]

How's that?

[rayney_day]

Never, until now, has Kermit been such a source of potential psychological horror to me.

[bunchasavages]

You must not have watched Muppet Babies as a kid.

[rayney_day]

I don't think it existed, back then. No.