The boy next door - Ruki/Uruha - 12/20
Title: The boy next door
Chapters: 12/20
Author: buildingonlove
Genre: drama, romance, angst, AU
Rating: PG-13/R (depends on chapter)
Pairing: Ruki/Uruha
Warnings: unbeta’ed, depressed thoughts, cursing
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I got other presents for Christmas last year.
Summary: Takanori falls in love with the pretty boy next door who just moved in. Discovering all his secrets, he isn’t sure if he’s the right one for him, and he’s not sure if it’s good or wrong to discover even more of this guy.
Comments: down there *points*
Previous chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11
When Kouyou woke up, he first thought he was in his own room, but then he remembered last night’s events. He turned his head and faced a still sleeping Takanori, curled up against his side. His hair was covering a part of his face, his lips were slightly parted, and he simply looked amazingly adorable.
Without even realizing himself, he pressed a small kiss against the sleeping man’s forehead, waking him up by doing so. Takanori blinked a few times before lifting his head to Kouyou and smiling. “Goodmorning, sunshine,” he muttered.
“Goodmorning to you too,” Kouyou said with a small sigh - even though he didn’t mean to.
“Did you sleep well?” Takanori asked.
Kouyou nodded. “Did you?”
“Hm, yes. At least I wasn’t cold anymore.” His lips curved into a smile.
A few minutes without any words passed, and Kouyou listened to his and Takanori’s heartbeat, which seemed to beat in the exact same rhythm. Suddenly, the smaller man lifted himself from his pillow and looked Kouyou right in his hazel eyes. A trace of sadness was shown in his brown orbs, as he started to whisper: “Kouyou, I think I like you. A lot.”
Kouyou blinked. “I know… I like you too, you know that,” he said, his voice hoarser than he expected. He cleared his throat.
“Do you love me?” Takanori asked, his voice still low, full of concern and worry. He also sounded insecure and uncertain, like he needed to hear an answer before he could go on with his life. Maybe he did.
Kouyou avoided his gaze. Did he? He didn’t know. But ‘I don’t know’ was such a lame answer. “Taka, I think I need to explain you some things.” As he looked back at Takanori, the smaller man was now looking really worried, his eyebrows knitted. “What?”
Kouyou couldn’t help but looking away again. “Things happened in my past and I’m not sure if I can ever love someone fully again, so I’m not sure…” the blonde muttered, closing his eyes. It was hard to clear up all those memories all of a sudden. He never had been faced with them before, but now he thought he was in love - even though he didn’t want to - he needed to, it seemed.
“That happened to me, too,” Takanori whispered, “I thought I couldn’t believe in love again. But - and I’m not saying this to flatter or impress you - you helped me to get rid of that thought, Kouyou. You made me fall in love again. With you…” He buried his face in Kouyou’s shirt, inhaling his nice and funny smell.
“I don’t think we’ve been through exactly the same, Taka… I would love to tell you but I’m not sure if I - or you - can handle that.”
“I can tell you my story if you want to, and you can tell me if I am wrong…”
Kouyou turned his gaze to Takanori, seeing the hopeful flicker in his eyes. “Okay…”
”In a summary, if you don’t mind, then?”
Kouyou nodded.
Again, Takanori shifted, and he clutched at Kouyou’s hand, like he needed something to hold on to. Kouyou frowned at his worried gaze, seeing how much it hurt to relive the memories which played in his head. “I fell in love with someone who abused me…” he started after clearing his throat. “He kept telling me he loved me even though he just cheated on me the whole time and only used me as someone to fuck with.”
Kouyou blinked as Takanori smiled. Though it was more a smile in disbelief, as if he found the sadness in his voice laughable. Or maybe he wanted to prevent Kouyou from having pity. “Am I wrong or right?” Takanori whispered.
“Partly right,” Kouyou murmured, “you can be abused in many different ways…”
“Both emotional as physical,” Takanori said coldly.
Kouyou frowned. That was maybe even worse than what he’d been through. Perhaps telling Takanori now would hurt less? “I can tell my story too, if you want to…”
“You don’t need to if you don’t-“
”I think you’re trustworthy.”
Takanori smiled gratefully. As if he longed so long to hear that. “Thank you, Kouyou.” He squeezed fondlely in his hand. “You can tell me if it won’t trouble you.”
“I’ll try to make it shorter, too,” Kouyou smiled. He closed his eyes as he turned his face back to the ceiling, trying to clear up the thoughts.
“I was fifteen when I had my first boyfriend. He was seventeen, almost eighteen. The first months we were together went well. He was really gentle and caring. After a few months, he wanted more than only kissing. But I wasn’t ready for that yet. At first, he accepted it and told me to take my time. But then the ran out of patience.”
Takanori stared at Kouyou’s face - even thought it was turned away from him - and listened carefully. He payed his full attention to it.
Kouyou sighed, then fulled his lungs with air.
“When we were alone in his room, he started to kiss me, as always. I didn’t mind. But when he forced me on his bed and started to touch me everywhere, I… I just frooze. But when he tried to release me from my pants I told him to stop. But he didn’t. I cried and screamed but he just did not stop.”
Takanori bit his nail as he listened, memorizing every word Kouyou got out of this mouth. It almost sounded the same as what he’d been through. But now, Kouyou was younger, and it would’ve more influences on him.
“Then he told me ‘come on, Kouyou - you love me, don’t you?’”
Takanori’s heart broke at hearing those words. “Oh my god…” he muttered, feeling tears coming up in his eyes. He buried his face more in Kouyou’s shirt as the tall blonde asked him why he was crying. “Sorry… sorry…” Takanori could only manage to say. He felt Kouyou’s strong arms being wrapped around him as some kind of support, caressing his back. “What’s the matter, Taka?” Kouyou whispered in his ear.
Takanori sobbed quietly. “It sounds so familiar…” he said, feeling how Kouyou pulled him closer and pressed a small and gentle kiss on his hair.
“Continue…” Takanori whispered, not knowing if it was a question or an order.
Kouyou took a deep breath, not loosening his grip on Takanori.
“I let him. Because I loved him and I didn’t want to disappoint or lose him. I was so naive and insecure. I didn’t want to lose the thing I treasured the most.”
He felt Takanori stirring against him, holding his shirt in his fist. “How did the two of you break up?” he asked carefully with a low voice.
“I don’t know anymore, actually… Or not clear, at least. I think we had a fight and it ended with that. I just… I just felt abused. My love for him was being abused.” Kouyou sighed. “After that I simply never dared to admit I was in love, even though my heart told me I was. I was afraid it would be abused again.”
“Who was he? Your boyfriend? What was his name?”
Kouyou kept quiet, making Takanori looking up. “I don’t remember…” Kouyou muttered, his voice low and his eyes set at the ceiling. “Honestly I tried to remove every memory of him out of my mind - or heart - after we broke up. But unfortunately, only the bad memories remained. I can’t seem to get rid of them… It causes me nightmares. Even now, after ten years.”
Takanori sat up, releasing himself from Kouyou’s grip, and cupped the blonde his face while he got lost in his hazel eyes. “I would never do something like that,” he said, as he put his lips on Kouyou’s.
It was clear now. Takanori wanted him as much as Kouyou wanted Takanori. Kouyou pressed back, feeling the other partening his lips slowly and he started to deepen the kiss.
It felt better than the first time he kissed Takanori like this. He felt loved, though he never wanted to feel like that again, but it felt good now. He wanted Takanori in every possible way.
As their lips seperated, Takanori whispered against Kouyou’s lips: “It already means a lot to me that you like me, more than usually in your opinion. And I’ll try my best to make you love me.”
“It won’t be that hard,” Kouyou answered before pulling Takanori in his strong embrace, his head buried in the crook of his neck.
“I’m glad you told me, Kouyou,” Takanori whispered, “I was afraid I would never get a chance to understand you.”
“You understand?”
“More than you think.”
Kouyou sighed and smiled against the skin of Takanori’s neck. “Thanks for telling me, too.”
“I love you, Kouyou.”
Kouyou wanted to open his mouth to reply something, but he didn’t know what. He wanted to say he loved him back. He wanted to, but he was afraid to speak the words out loud, even though he knew Takanori wasn’t like his boyfriend back then. Takanori lifted himself up to stare Kouyou in his eyes. “You don’t need to reply,” he whispered, a small smile playing with his lips, “I just want you to know I do.”
A/N: Whoo, things are getting a little more lovey-dovey~