Morning Robot Humping
Okay, so last night, I couldn't sleep, right? I was up at my computer doing some work, and trying to figure out what to do with myself as usual when at about one or half past one in the morning, there came a pounding sound on the front door.
Now even though I have 24 hour quiet hours right now because of no one being home and all and my roommates busy with their own shit, my room is always filled with music and shit and it’s loud as hell. I don't care and my roommates sure as shit don't care. I mean I could be playing Russian roulette out here in my room, sacrificing baby goats, or having orgies and they wouldn't give a fuck, but for some reason the small sound of TV last night my roommates had in their room was a violation of code.
Anyway, I didn't mind it. So when I hear what sounds like the biggest fucking robot in the world humping the front door, I get a little freaked out. Seriously, I felt like a jackhammer was making love to the cinderblock on the other side and I was getting a bit turned on. What? Oh… right. I meant ticked off. Riiight!!!
I mean its one thing to for some ungodly reason hammer something into solid cinderblock in the evening or even morning, but at 1 am? What the hell was so important that it couldn't wait? And the better questions: What the fuck was the neighbor putting up or doing, why the fuck was he up at 1AM, and why the hell didn't I, who lives right in next room, complain about it? It's so fucked up. I felt like taking a hammer to my neighbor’s wall until he woke up again, came in here, and I'd just be like, oh that wasn't me it's them.
I didn't really mind since I was wide awake, though I was trying to fall asleep, but still, it's the principle of the thing. If I hadn't been just chilling and all mellow with the Southpark and Simpsons, I would have kicked his ass and then gone to town on it.
I don't know why this is pissing me off now. I got up and didn't even think of it. Maybe its coz I came across my neighbor on my way back from work and I thought why the hell was he so upset and tried to drill through the door last night? If he was thinking of making a glory hole on my door, anything he’d stick through is getting sliced off like hot butter on the blade, if you know what I mean.
I'm really curious now to just break into his house and find out what he keeps in there, when he’s gone.
I promised myself a long while ago that my thieving days were over. It used to be such a thrill. Had I grown up in different circles, I'd probably have trained pro. But, then again, I've got what they call a moral fucking compass. Doesn't really help when you go through all the excitement of stealing something only to be like, gee, I really need to give this back. But still, I could make an exception. I'll go in, look around, find what the fuck he has in there, locate some robot he keeps, and steal it. Yes, it's so brilliant it has to work. Then, I'll train the robot to be a covert assassin for me. I'll have it go around the world and train other robots to follow me as well. My god, man. It's ingenious!
If he does it again though, believe me, I won't be so tolerant, especially if he wakes me up. I don't get pissed off easily, but when I do, well, let's just say you wouldn't like to see me when I’m angry. No, I don't swell up green and huge after putting on purple panties.
Whatever. Okay, now I'm pissed off. I'm actually hoping that fucker comes in right now just so I go vent on his robot humping ass. Or, I could just go to sleep. I think I'll do that.... for now.