Called in code 932
I have the sudden craving for something grape. That feels rather odd considering, but okay. No I don’t mean the white grape fruit juice. Hmm... I want regular grape grape flavor.
Speaking of which, I for some reason just remembered this girl in my colony, it goes back prolly like when I was in 2nd grade, who used to chew on crayons and eat them. I asked her once what purple tasted like and she said grape. Poor crayons. And here I feel bad every time I grind on one of my colored pencils inside the slot of the sharpener.
*allows a brief pause for any dirty thoughts or jokes to pass...
I mean think about it. What if there was some sort of toy story esque world behind arts and crafts in which pencils of any sort had minds and souls. And what do we do but slide them into a series of knives and cut them up, torturing them, and proving them with a life of slow agonizing death as we then proceed to drag their heads along the ground cementing the serious hell they'll be until they become but just a stub. It's shameful! It's despicable! It's murder.
Code 932: Pencil-i-cide.
Poor bastards. My god. Look at them all.
*slowly pans across my room.
A faint but heavy music fills the room with sorrow as across the wasteland that is my floor, my eyes scan across the bodies of one slain pencil after another, after another.
The horror! The horror!
*shivers at the thought of reading that book again.
Why am I suddenly in the mood for a scotch and a woman slave named candycane? I don't even want to know. Honestly, with the things that come and out of my head I could like make a movie. If only I knew someone who would teach me how to make those flash movies, think of the great shit I could do. But alas!!! noone i know knows, and since noone ever reads these long winded entries all the way through I'm sure noone will be able to see this, which is a moot point because they probably don’t know either. And yea, I know it’s spelt NONE but doesn’t it sound cool as NOONE.
FUck! Is that a cockroach? Grrr....
I hate them!!!! I mean I won't touch the fuckers because I can't stand that creepy crawly ness, but I'll approach them and everything. I'm pretty guy like when it comes to that. I'm usually the one my friends will send and they'll be all like, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s a spider! omg! You so totally have to save me from it," and I'll be like, "okay, easy Fellow, easy." It’s that I can't kill them. I'm a pacifist. So I've got to somehow figure out a way to trap them and bring them outside and I hate doing it because usually it’s such a chore. But this is not a spider we talking about it’s a cockroach. You know how fast a fucking cockroach can run? Not to mention it can reduce its thickness by like a hundred percent or something. I just can't bring myself to squash it. I mean, most people look at it and go, oh god it’s so disgusting. Well, while admittedly I wouldn't want to touch it, or wind up in that Temple of Doom pit like Indiana--yeah buddy--I'm not going to kill something just because it was doing what it needs to do to survive.
Well, unless it’s a squirrel. Fucking nut suckers. I just wanna rip their little beady eyes out of their egoist heads and use them against themselves when the war comes. Ah! Haven’t you heard about the war the squirrels are instigating against the humans. Oh it'll happen my friend!!!. It's a conspiracy. I've told you. Why do you think they're so jumpy and race up into the trees? S-Day will come.
Oh wait... that's not a cockroach. That's not a cockroach at all! That's an olive.
*spits it out. Ew god. I hate olives.
Oh what an awful taste. I need something to wash my mouth out. No more coke? Crackers? Chips? Ooh... How bout some Peanuts?
So, I am watching Rang De Basanti and I was really inspired like when I was from that Independence Day speech by Bill Pullman.
Speaking of RDB, now that’s supposed to short for Rang De Basanti and I really hate it when people use these shorts for movies. Like,
“Hey dude, have you seen RDB, firkin’ awesome man?”
I am like “How the bloody fuck I am supposed to know what RDB is? Am I supposed to guess… wait is it Raunchy
Dead Babe… Shit!!! Dude!!! Stay away from me you fuckin Necrophile. SICK!!!!”
“No, dude, the new movie Rang De Basanti”
“Oh!!! No I didn’t coz I am OOM and FDWSFBFAM”
“What???”
“I mean I am Out Of Money and Fuckin’Don’t Wanna Spend Fifteen Bucks For A movie”
Well, get the point I am trying to make. Anyways, the line CJ says really got me it was something like “Ek Piar Past mein hain aur Ek Piar Future main tabhi toh hum Aaj pein moot rahay hai”
Seriously thinking about it I feel I am not only pissing but also shitting my present. And then my gloominess booted up my system again. The rest of the movie after that was depressing which eventually reminded me that I am alone and so I decide to pack my bags and go back to Matrubhoomi, but I fucking realized I have to work on Monday so i cannot go back, although it’s a public holiday. Only if Monday was a day off then i would go back. HAHA!!! As if I wasn't seriously depressed enough, I have to go to the most boring job in the world. It's just one of those jobs.
Let's say it is like a boring class you fuckin hate to attend like say a class on rainbows. You'd go and the teacher’d be like "well.. today were going to learn about the red in the rainbow." She'd get through all of them one by one even though we could have just bought the book and known all that without wasting the tuition, and she then gives us a test. Except the test will be all like "if the altitude of the troposphere where the zenith of the light rests, at what angle will a viewer have to be if he is traveling seventy miles an hour east from St. Louis and the train stops for fifteen minutes so the conducter can get a grilled cheese sandwich." I'm so not even exaggerating.
What does this have to do with my boring job? It’s the same can’t you see, what ever I am doing at my job is in no fucking way associated what I actually wanna do.
Speaking of which, I for some reason just remembered this girl in my colony, it goes back prolly like when I was in 2nd grade, who used to chew on crayons and eat them. I asked her once what purple tasted like and she said grape. Poor crayons. And here I feel bad every time I grind on one of my colored pencils inside the slot of the sharpener.
*allows a brief pause for any dirty thoughts or jokes to pass...
I mean think about it. What if there was some sort of toy story esque world behind arts and crafts in which pencils of any sort had minds and souls. And what do we do but slide them into a series of knives and cut them up, torturing them, and proving them with a life of slow agonizing death as we then proceed to drag their heads along the ground cementing the serious hell they'll be until they become but just a stub. It's shameful! It's despicable! It's murder.
Code 932: Pencil-i-cide.
Poor bastards. My god. Look at them all.
*slowly pans across my room.
A faint but heavy music fills the room with sorrow as across the wasteland that is my floor, my eyes scan across the bodies of one slain pencil after another, after another.
The horror! The horror!
*shivers at the thought of reading that book again.
Why am I suddenly in the mood for a scotch and a woman slave named candycane? I don't even want to know. Honestly, with the things that come and out of my head I could like make a movie. If only I knew someone who would teach me how to make those flash movies, think of the great shit I could do. But alas!!! noone i know knows, and since noone ever reads these long winded entries all the way through I'm sure noone will be able to see this, which is a moot point because they probably don’t know either. And yea, I know it’s spelt NONE but doesn’t it sound cool as NOONE.
FUck! Is that a cockroach? Grrr....
I hate them!!!! I mean I won't touch the fuckers because I can't stand that creepy crawly ness, but I'll approach them and everything. I'm pretty guy like when it comes to that. I'm usually the one my friends will send and they'll be all like, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s a spider! omg! You so totally have to save me from it," and I'll be like, "okay, easy Fellow, easy." It’s that I can't kill them. I'm a pacifist. So I've got to somehow figure out a way to trap them and bring them outside and I hate doing it because usually it’s such a chore. But this is not a spider we talking about it’s a cockroach. You know how fast a fucking cockroach can run? Not to mention it can reduce its thickness by like a hundred percent or something. I just can't bring myself to squash it. I mean, most people look at it and go, oh god it’s so disgusting. Well, while admittedly I wouldn't want to touch it, or wind up in that Temple of Doom pit like Indiana--yeah buddy--I'm not going to kill something just because it was doing what it needs to do to survive.
Well, unless it’s a squirrel. Fucking nut suckers. I just wanna rip their little beady eyes out of their egoist heads and use them against themselves when the war comes. Ah! Haven’t you heard about the war the squirrels are instigating against the humans. Oh it'll happen my friend!!!. It's a conspiracy. I've told you. Why do you think they're so jumpy and race up into the trees? S-Day will come.
Oh wait... that's not a cockroach. That's not a cockroach at all! That's an olive.
*spits it out. Ew god. I hate olives.
Oh what an awful taste. I need something to wash my mouth out. No more coke? Crackers? Chips? Ooh... How bout some Peanuts?
So, I am watching Rang De Basanti and I was really inspired like when I was from that Independence Day speech by Bill Pullman.
Speaking of RDB, now that’s supposed to short for Rang De Basanti and I really hate it when people use these shorts for movies. Like,
“Hey dude, have you seen RDB, firkin’ awesome man?”
I am like “How the bloody fuck I am supposed to know what RDB is? Am I supposed to guess… wait is it Raunchy
Dead Babe… Shit!!! Dude!!! Stay away from me you fuckin Necrophile. SICK!!!!”
“No, dude, the new movie Rang De Basanti”
“Oh!!! No I didn’t coz I am OOM and FDWSFBFAM”
“What???”
“I mean I am Out Of Money and Fuckin’Don’t Wanna Spend Fifteen Bucks For A movie”
Well, get the point I am trying to make. Anyways, the line CJ says really got me it was something like “Ek Piar Past mein hain aur Ek Piar Future main tabhi toh hum Aaj pein moot rahay hai”
Seriously thinking about it I feel I am not only pissing but also shitting my present. And then my gloominess booted up my system again. The rest of the movie after that was depressing which eventually reminded me that I am alone and so I decide to pack my bags and go back to Matrubhoomi, but I fucking realized I have to work on Monday so i cannot go back, although it’s a public holiday. Only if Monday was a day off then i would go back. HAHA!!! As if I wasn't seriously depressed enough, I have to go to the most boring job in the world. It's just one of those jobs.
Let's say it is like a boring class you fuckin hate to attend like say a class on rainbows. You'd go and the teacher’d be like "well.. today were going to learn about the red in the rainbow." She'd get through all of them one by one even though we could have just bought the book and known all that without wasting the tuition, and she then gives us a test. Except the test will be all like "if the altitude of the troposphere where the zenith of the light rests, at what angle will a viewer have to be if he is traveling seventy miles an hour east from St. Louis and the train stops for fifteen minutes so the conducter can get a grilled cheese sandwich." I'm so not even exaggerating.
What does this have to do with my boring job? It’s the same can’t you see, what ever I am doing at my job is in no fucking way associated what I actually wanna do.