(no subject)
Ugh!
Just tried to write a poem for the first time in ages. I SUCK! I got through a couple of stanzas, and was about to kick off a thrid when it dawned on me just how appalling it was. I used to like my old poetry - I probably still would if I could find it - so I don't think it has anything to do with the quality of my writing.
It made me realise how much I've changed in the last year. I am far less willing to indulge my emotions, which is why the poem sounded so crap, even though it was *about* my being less willing to indulge my emotions ferchrissake!
While I remain a hopeless romantic at heart, all the swooning, all the longing, all the crying, all the overarching and omni-influential hyperbole is gone. I used to have this inpenetrable facade that I liked to put up around myself, but everyone knew it was, in reality, about as tough as a ballet shoe; I took it down completely last year, and now I seem to have put it up again. Only now it is infinitely thicker, to the extent that I can't even break it down myself when I try to.
Of all the people who read this thing regularly, only Chris knows first-hand what a blithering and pathetic individual I was, so most of you won't notice the difference. But I have.
Just tried to write a poem for the first time in ages. I SUCK! I got through a couple of stanzas, and was about to kick off a thrid when it dawned on me just how appalling it was. I used to like my old poetry - I probably still would if I could find it - so I don't think it has anything to do with the quality of my writing.
It made me realise how much I've changed in the last year. I am far less willing to indulge my emotions, which is why the poem sounded so crap, even though it was *about* my being less willing to indulge my emotions ferchrissake!
While I remain a hopeless romantic at heart, all the swooning, all the longing, all the crying, all the overarching and omni-influential hyperbole is gone. I used to have this inpenetrable facade that I liked to put up around myself, but everyone knew it was, in reality, about as tough as a ballet shoe; I took it down completely last year, and now I seem to have put it up again. Only now it is infinitely thicker, to the extent that I can't even break it down myself when I try to.
Of all the people who read this thing regularly, only Chris knows first-hand what a blithering and pathetic individual I was, so most of you won't notice the difference. But I have.