Chaos looming
I've been undergoing this obsession with the game Tetris Battle.
I find that Tetris is a great way to describe my work ethic and my tolerance for chaos. I always try to leave that one column open on the side. That way, I can save up for the long 4x1 Tetris block so that I can shove it down the empty column and clear away four lines in one shot. But, in the wait for that one block, my Tetris board gets pretty filled. The trick is to leave no empty holes among the remaining nine columns in which I lay the other shapes of blocks. Gotta keep it all organized - even throughout the ominous rise of my Tetris board.
But, soon enough, I get to that point when the blocks get too high. And that damned 4x1 block hasn't come yet! At this point, the music accelerates, the stress mounts, I start panicking. That FUCKING 4x1 block never comes! A few seconds or so before the game is over, all hope is lost. When the music stops and the "GAME OVER" screen blinks at me mockingly, I happen to glance over to the side, where I realize that the next block would've been that coveted 4x1 piece. If only I had stayed alive just a few more seconds to use it.
Much like my life.
I like things to be neat. I like things to be orderly and to have purpose. And, I like for my work to follow the same principles and be done right. But, while my mind fusses over details, I run out of time. Eventually, I get stressed out, and I shut down. I run away from my problems. Until the shit hits the fan. And, then, I hit the RESET button and start all over. It's a rather maddening way to live.
I've been trying to coax myself into a more relaxed and steady lifestyle and work ethic. To take little chunks of productivity at a time. Sometimes, it works for a while. And, sometimes, the system breaks down into chaos again. It's become this mind-numbing cycle. And, throughout it all, I fear that I've become more jaded and more distanced from it. It's an interesting sort of conundrum.
My thesis deadline is coming up. I can already hear the ominous accelerated music that Tetris plays when the stacks of blocks start getting alarmingly close to the top. I have some work to do in order to clear out some lingering tasks. I just have to forget about all that superficial stress, and just get down into the thick of it and do it.
I find that Tetris is a great way to describe my work ethic and my tolerance for chaos. I always try to leave that one column open on the side. That way, I can save up for the long 4x1 Tetris block so that I can shove it down the empty column and clear away four lines in one shot. But, in the wait for that one block, my Tetris board gets pretty filled. The trick is to leave no empty holes among the remaining nine columns in which I lay the other shapes of blocks. Gotta keep it all organized - even throughout the ominous rise of my Tetris board.
But, soon enough, I get to that point when the blocks get too high. And that damned 4x1 block hasn't come yet! At this point, the music accelerates, the stress mounts, I start panicking. That FUCKING 4x1 block never comes! A few seconds or so before the game is over, all hope is lost. When the music stops and the "GAME OVER" screen blinks at me mockingly, I happen to glance over to the side, where I realize that the next block would've been that coveted 4x1 piece. If only I had stayed alive just a few more seconds to use it.
Much like my life.
I like things to be neat. I like things to be orderly and to have purpose. And, I like for my work to follow the same principles and be done right. But, while my mind fusses over details, I run out of time. Eventually, I get stressed out, and I shut down. I run away from my problems. Until the shit hits the fan. And, then, I hit the RESET button and start all over. It's a rather maddening way to live.
I've been trying to coax myself into a more relaxed and steady lifestyle and work ethic. To take little chunks of productivity at a time. Sometimes, it works for a while. And, sometimes, the system breaks down into chaos again. It's become this mind-numbing cycle. And, throughout it all, I fear that I've become more jaded and more distanced from it. It's an interesting sort of conundrum.
My thesis deadline is coming up. I can already hear the ominous accelerated music that Tetris plays when the stacks of blocks start getting alarmingly close to the top. I have some work to do in order to clear out some lingering tasks. I just have to forget about all that superficial stress, and just get down into the thick of it and do it.