decentralization
i have just had a rather interesting conversation about how the social model of the "cluster" is degenerate in some regards. i'll spare the specific objections, save to say that i'm wondering now more than ever how i can have my social life stop "stagnating" in it. some keen-eyed IRC goers may notice i have left the main lounge channel (though sticking around places where discussion i like happens), and not being in it has been going rather well for me. anyway, i wondered if i could possibly get away with not showing up in 3k for a week or so, and became aware of some... consequences.
basically, i have never comfortably known (i.e. by involvement) a primary social circle whose methods of "getting together to hang out" both were casual and worked. at the start of freshman year i was rather drawn to the "cohort" (this is gonna be another one of those posts with a million punctuation marks i guess) because the way of getting socialization was to show up at a given location whenever the hell you felt like it, and there would likely be some other people there to chat with or just work in the presence of. this trend continues in the cluster. i find it unclear whether this organization is inherently "poisonous" (why would it be? any observable trend?) or if there are just other undesirables and this is basically not helping.
in contrast... more so lately than, say, last year, i've been getting rather good about socializing with people not bound to the cluster. the way this proceeds feels somewhat unsatisfying, though - most get-togethers are by way of advance communication to set up a time to meet, usually having it revolve around some joint activity, etcetera... and while constant interaction of this sort may be nice, it doesn't satisfy the need for casual being-in-good-company with no social obligations whenever i feel like (which is the cluster's primary appeal).
so, i've been making somewhat vague efforts at being around the cluster less, but i find this most often just results in me spending afternoons and evenings at home, often with no housemates around to offset loneliness. and as much as i like the idea of disappearing from the cluster entirely for some block of time, i'm not sure how i would handle the need for casual company without. how am i supposed to do this?
basically, i have never comfortably known (i.e. by involvement) a primary social circle whose methods of "getting together to hang out" both were casual and worked. at the start of freshman year i was rather drawn to the "cohort" (this is gonna be another one of those posts with a million punctuation marks i guess) because the way of getting socialization was to show up at a given location whenever the hell you felt like it, and there would likely be some other people there to chat with or just work in the presence of. this trend continues in the cluster. i find it unclear whether this organization is inherently "poisonous" (why would it be? any observable trend?) or if there are just other undesirables and this is basically not helping.
in contrast... more so lately than, say, last year, i've been getting rather good about socializing with people not bound to the cluster. the way this proceeds feels somewhat unsatisfying, though - most get-togethers are by way of advance communication to set up a time to meet, usually having it revolve around some joint activity, etcetera... and while constant interaction of this sort may be nice, it doesn't satisfy the need for casual being-in-good-company with no social obligations whenever i feel like (which is the cluster's primary appeal).
so, i've been making somewhat vague efforts at being around the cluster less, but i find this most often just results in me spending afternoons and evenings at home, often with no housemates around to offset loneliness. and as much as i like the idea of disappearing from the cluster entirely for some block of time, i'm not sure how i would handle the need for casual company without. how am i supposed to do this?