clarity
there is a new wire in my brain - a new path for my thoughts to travel, that for some reason i didn't learn many years ago.
i'm sure any attempt to describe it directly will turn out extremely cheesy, so instead i will say this:
when i pick up a book and go to sit by the pool in the middle of the afternoon there is no more anxiety that i should be spending my time doing something people will notice and be impressed by.
when i close my laptop at the end of the day, there is no longer any pang of separation, as though killing off the possibility that someone will message me wanting to talk.
when i tell myself i must (not talk about work in conversations outside of work) (run some distance every week) (go out for the evening instead of staying home), i don't believe it anymore.
i can feel the change fresh in my head, something i'm not used to yet, a new toy. i think it is here to stay.
i'm sure any attempt to describe it directly will turn out extremely cheesy, so instead i will say this:
when i pick up a book and go to sit by the pool in the middle of the afternoon there is no more anxiety that i should be spending my time doing something people will notice and be impressed by.
when i close my laptop at the end of the day, there is no longer any pang of separation, as though killing off the possibility that someone will message me wanting to talk.
when i tell myself i must (not talk about work in conversations outside of work) (run some distance every week) (go out for the evening instead of staying home), i don't believe it anymore.
i can feel the change fresh in my head, something i'm not used to yet, a new toy. i think it is here to stay.