farsightedness
one particularly weird thing i notice in uprooting depression: the few patterns of things i get really upset about tend to impede my evaluation of lesser troubles, as though they are not even worth thinking about.
for example, today i was out running with louie (our dog), and i kept getting frustrated when he would stop to smell some random thing or go off in a different direction, making me stop for a couple seconds. i thought, "wait, being cheerful about something as trivial is this is well within my grasp; why am i not doing it automatically?"
here's how it goes:
- be triggered by something minor.
- think, "if you are not sad about , then you are not legitimately sad."
- ignore minor problem until it gets worse.
my subconscious makes this happen all over the place. it stops me from empathising with people, it stops me from learning new minor lessons, and it stops me from maintaining pervasive cheeriness (which all, of course, would otherwise help me fight the bigger problems).
if y'all are tired of my autotherapy posts i promise there is one of my traditional semester-summary posts coming up soon. :P
for example, today i was out running with louie (our dog), and i kept getting frustrated when he would stop to smell some random thing or go off in a different direction, making me stop for a couple seconds. i thought, "wait, being cheerful about something as trivial is this is well within my grasp; why am i not doing it automatically?"
here's how it goes:
- be triggered by something minor.
- think, "if you are not sad about , then you are not legitimately sad."
- ignore minor problem until it gets worse.
my subconscious makes this happen all over the place. it stops me from empathising with people, it stops me from learning new minor lessons, and it stops me from maintaining pervasive cheeriness (which all, of course, would otherwise help me fight the bigger problems).
if y'all are tired of my autotherapy posts i promise there is one of my traditional semester-summary posts coming up soon. :P