wow i haven't written in here in a long @$$ time

Sep 22, 2005 10:01

IT's raining outside and for the last couple of days i've felt kinda lonely and everythings' been going so awfully wrong. I had to work tuesday and it probably started this bad mood bad luck thing. Ever since i've been somewhat under the gray clouds and it kinda sucks because everything bad seems to happen to me and i'ts miserable because to add on to the bad luck jesse has to be an ass! I dont understand why he can't make sometime for me when he can make it for sleep and video games and his friend(S) WTF! I feel like I am worthless in his life. I understand that he has school and work and would like to be able to sleep in or what not but he should atleast put an effort into seeing me or trying too! It seems like every time i see him all i get is a hug and a kiss and then a good bye! I dont need him to clear his entire schedule to see me but it woulod be nice if we can make use of whatever time we have.. like when we're doing homework to do it together instead of seperately that way we're atleast in the same room together and if i wanted a hug or a kiss i cold just lean over for one! it seems to me as the days grow longer jess seems to think more and more about himself. I feel like i'm just an unwanted wart sometimes and yet he still tells me he loves me. I dont understand how you can love someone and not want to see them every chance you get. INstead you tell them you think you're life is getting to busy to squeeze them in so you might have to let them go! I dont even know what to know anymore instead I feel like i should just end all miserie and move to a different state for collge or somethign that way he has a legit reason to not be able to see me!I dont know am I over reacting to all of this?
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