and the day is set...
the day just passed as all of them do...it flew on by as i sit here without u....my soul is gone and my spirit absorbed....the life i have led leaves no accord....the light diappears as darkness sets in.....my mind transforms to useless thoughts jsut blowing in the wind.....i have so much to say but my mouth wont seem to speak....hold inside all my feelings and forget whatever i seek.....time will pass by day after day....i am forever filled with hatred ...the useless feelings are here to stay.....
well jsut another day to add to my pointless being....today was a short day at work so i had it pretty easy...just sitting here with my eyes all dragging....it feels good to be numb once in a while...i have so many things running thru my head it makes me feel like im going insane....my friend i havent seen in yrs was emailing me for a while and now it has stopped...i dont know why i shld feel so crushed....i guess i just missed talking to him...he was a big part of my life for so many yrs and then shit happened as it always does and as we always knew it would and our friendship was shot...now to even had heard his voice again actually made me feel happy...i think mostly because i have always loved him and now that i have spoken to him i know that the love is not there anymore.....it makes me feel good ....i love keith and my heart is truely with him.....my feelings for the other are not there...a friendship feeling is what i felt and i loved it...i loved speaking to him and listening to him and knowing the whole time that a friedship with him was what i needed...to just make sure hes ok and happy is great....i know now that he is in love with his wife and they may be having problems but he loves her and i figured that out now when he stopped emailing me and i cannot blame him cuz i know it is only because of her...she feels threatened by me and when it comes to him i wld feel the same way if i was in her shoes as i have been there once before....
well i am gonna stopped babbling now so i guess till tmw then .....tata sweets.....bubblez
well jsut another day to add to my pointless being....today was a short day at work so i had it pretty easy...just sitting here with my eyes all dragging....it feels good to be numb once in a while...i have so many things running thru my head it makes me feel like im going insane....my friend i havent seen in yrs was emailing me for a while and now it has stopped...i dont know why i shld feel so crushed....i guess i just missed talking to him...he was a big part of my life for so many yrs and then shit happened as it always does and as we always knew it would and our friendship was shot...now to even had heard his voice again actually made me feel happy...i think mostly because i have always loved him and now that i have spoken to him i know that the love is not there anymore.....it makes me feel good ....i love keith and my heart is truely with him.....my feelings for the other are not there...a friendship feeling is what i felt and i loved it...i loved speaking to him and listening to him and knowing the whole time that a friedship with him was what i needed...to just make sure hes ok and happy is great....i know now that he is in love with his wife and they may be having problems but he loves her and i figured that out now when he stopped emailing me and i cannot blame him cuz i know it is only because of her...she feels threatened by me and when it comes to him i wld feel the same way if i was in her shoes as i have been there once before....
well i am gonna stopped babbling now so i guess till tmw then .....tata sweets.....bubblez