i've got one hand in my pocket and the other one is playing a piano

[bubbleslk]

so i hate myself
i am now like the college student i didn't want to be
or, not only college student, but just person in general
(but it happens so frequently to college students)
i can't believe i honestly found myself relying on credit cards
i definitely overdrew my checking account
but fortunately (?) i had a check from my student visa card worth $250, so i deposited that in my account and now i'll be able to use that credit card to pay off my target card
i mean... at least this card has 0% APR on $250 and under, so long as i make the minimum payment, and i had a 0 balance
and i won't have to pay anything until after i get a paycheck
but my god
i'm totally living on credit right now
and that makes me feel like a total douchebag
to say the least
i need a job next semester
if i haven't found something to do on campus by the end of the first week of the semester, please kick my ass and make me get a damn job
please
i don't want to do this

i totally started psychoanalyzing my financial problems today
and my shopaholism
slash clearanceaholism
like... i started feeling pretty good about myself today, as i took back two things i bought last week
but...
i returned $14 worth of stuff
then i bought $16 worth
but...
i mean...
a top, 2 camis and khaki cords for $16?
herein lies the problem.
damn me.

but i won't get into the reasons i came up with for why i do these things
in fact
the only thing i want to get into right now is bed
so i will.

but damn me.