Sewn Heart ( Let my heart be heard)
In the past few months, i was happy and assured that Gragen is loving me wel. Adrian on the other hand, is spending time with Heven much more and once in while would call me on the phone , just to say he missed his babysitter. Somehow, Sophia is pretty much too tired to create ruckus or maybe she ran out of ideas to turn my world topsy turvy. At one moment, i felt pity towards Avan for being a lonely jerk and he is the one who caused for all the misunderstandings. Still i felt there was somethin is still amiss, why isn't Sophia wearing the necklace that Heven carved, where is Heaven? and why do i feel that Adrian is a connection between Aunt Susan and Sophia. I grudgingly pushed away of the thoughts, i sighed heavily and tried to complete the next story , the sequel of the previous one.
i was wondering why my mind just couldn't sit still and enjoy the happy moments as i should and it ended bizarrely. i put salt in my tea and put pepsi in my cooking, i sighed heavily when it recurred to me. Gragen was worried of me but the worst part is that there is this whizzing of memories of me and heven, of everybody i am connected. I just don't get it at all the connection and it is pretty much painful as in there is this sharp pain through my skull. I could not even remember where i really stand in those weird memories, i just sat down and leaned over to Gragen and possibly slept because i woke up on bed the next day. My stomach grumbled and i bet i skipped all my excitement for food yesterday. I can't hardly breathed when i felt a rustle on my bed, it was Heaven. She kept looking at me and nudging me to follow her and i did, when i went out the door, i saw a recurrence of my memories being displayed like some kind of movie, a player that rewinds and plays
i was pregnant ?! what is with the tummy , i was holding hands of Gragen when Heven took me and punched Gragen on his face. I was crying and definitely in labour when i suddenly was pushed by Susan to the wall. Sophia is hugging Susan from the back and all i knew that thre was blood all around me and i was definitely dying. I looked over to Heaven, what exactly is going on? i definitely a virgin right? i definitely not with Heven or am i , why am i wearing the neckalce, was this some kind of transition of me. I stumbled and i jut sat down , levelled with Heaven and she just look at me tilted with confusion in her eyes. I don't get it, what is this memories? When the transition just stoped and swapped with a memory of me being coma, and a baby that looks like Adrian when he was young subtle beside me. Is Adrian my child, is it why i felt defensive about him and why Sophia lies that she is his mother? Don't tell im a surrogate mother? am i working as that? i was so confused and i can't put my mind in words. What is this dreaded feeling?
I cried and cried , til i felt a huge shock travelled within body and opened my eyes at last. I saw them again, the same scenario as i have been before, the room that filled with white roses that does not make me feel the same way i felt at first, the same person whom managed to make my heart melt no matter how many times i been through this situation. All the sequence is happening exactly the same way, the pain and the memories that have been embed before. I just wasn't as surprise not until i asked.
" Gragen, whose child am i bearing?" i looked over to him, he just simply avoided my eyes and told me i am dreaming. "Me, who got pushed and on the verge dying somehow miraculously survived and given birth to a healthy child, what was that about!!!!!!" I shouted as i cringed in the aftermath of pain. Sophia just stunned, Heven was quiet and looking to the floor board and Aunt Susan who looked over to Gragen and Gragen who slipped his hands off and at which i caught it with all my strength . "Please tell me, i beg you." I cried and holding tightly on my last strength i can hold onto him. He sat down , still holiding tightly and kissing my hands like he never able to done that before
" you are bearing Heven's child, Sophia is his wife but she could not bear any child, she has no womb. BUt you didnt want to give away to her because it is your child. Heven loved you and cared of you despite the complicated relationship and i am your boyfriend, you cared for me and loved me but got confused of affections with Heven. Avan was just hired to prevent you from getting back you memories from the past. You were deemed to not remember anything but somehow you just naturally able to piece it up. A mother's intuition never run."
i was sealed, my heart was sewn painfully and why did i not remember the reason how i get to become agreeable to becoming a surrogate mother. How ? I don't know.
i was wondering why my mind just couldn't sit still and enjoy the happy moments as i should and it ended bizarrely. i put salt in my tea and put pepsi in my cooking, i sighed heavily when it recurred to me. Gragen was worried of me but the worst part is that there is this whizzing of memories of me and heven, of everybody i am connected. I just don't get it at all the connection and it is pretty much painful as in there is this sharp pain through my skull. I could not even remember where i really stand in those weird memories, i just sat down and leaned over to Gragen and possibly slept because i woke up on bed the next day. My stomach grumbled and i bet i skipped all my excitement for food yesterday. I can't hardly breathed when i felt a rustle on my bed, it was Heaven. She kept looking at me and nudging me to follow her and i did, when i went out the door, i saw a recurrence of my memories being displayed like some kind of movie, a player that rewinds and plays
i was pregnant ?! what is with the tummy , i was holding hands of Gragen when Heven took me and punched Gragen on his face. I was crying and definitely in labour when i suddenly was pushed by Susan to the wall. Sophia is hugging Susan from the back and all i knew that thre was blood all around me and i was definitely dying. I looked over to Heaven, what exactly is going on? i definitely a virgin right? i definitely not with Heven or am i , why am i wearing the neckalce, was this some kind of transition of me. I stumbled and i jut sat down , levelled with Heaven and she just look at me tilted with confusion in her eyes. I don't get it, what is this memories? When the transition just stoped and swapped with a memory of me being coma, and a baby that looks like Adrian when he was young subtle beside me. Is Adrian my child, is it why i felt defensive about him and why Sophia lies that she is his mother? Don't tell im a surrogate mother? am i working as that? i was so confused and i can't put my mind in words. What is this dreaded feeling?
I cried and cried , til i felt a huge shock travelled within body and opened my eyes at last. I saw them again, the same scenario as i have been before, the room that filled with white roses that does not make me feel the same way i felt at first, the same person whom managed to make my heart melt no matter how many times i been through this situation. All the sequence is happening exactly the same way, the pain and the memories that have been embed before. I just wasn't as surprise not until i asked.
" Gragen, whose child am i bearing?" i looked over to him, he just simply avoided my eyes and told me i am dreaming. "Me, who got pushed and on the verge dying somehow miraculously survived and given birth to a healthy child, what was that about!!!!!!" I shouted as i cringed in the aftermath of pain. Sophia just stunned, Heven was quiet and looking to the floor board and Aunt Susan who looked over to Gragen and Gragen who slipped his hands off and at which i caught it with all my strength . "Please tell me, i beg you." I cried and holding tightly on my last strength i can hold onto him. He sat down , still holiding tightly and kissing my hands like he never able to done that before
" you are bearing Heven's child, Sophia is his wife but she could not bear any child, she has no womb. BUt you didnt want to give away to her because it is your child. Heven loved you and cared of you despite the complicated relationship and i am your boyfriend, you cared for me and loved me but got confused of affections with Heven. Avan was just hired to prevent you from getting back you memories from the past. You were deemed to not remember anything but somehow you just naturally able to piece it up. A mother's intuition never run."
i was sealed, my heart was sewn painfully and why did i not remember the reason how i get to become agreeable to becoming a surrogate mother. How ? I don't know.