MUGLUPAGOSEWAGUMNUTS!

[bub89y2k]

I just need a place to sit and write. I have spent the last 2 nights of my life working on this social studies project, and I'm just sick of it. I know that it's all my fault and I need to time these things better, but as of now I just have soooo much shit going on that I can't stand it. What i really need is a whole goddamn day where I can sit and do absolutely nothing.. do you realize that I haven't had a day like that since the summer. Ever since school started, I have been either doing work or stuff and trying to come and act all happy, but inside I'm just sick of myself. I bring soo much shit upon myself, and I'm just sick of it. Although I feel all of this, I know that I cannot rest. With all this stuff I am doing trying to be a descent high school student, I'm getting a C+ish grade in English, and I can do soo much better. Social studies is dissapointing, I just can't seem to do what I want to do, and all of this work I do I never get any feedback from my teacher, before I take this goddamn midterm I would love to know if my new studying method for my test worked or not... if not I dont know what else to do. Other things are happening, I never have time to do nothing, which is what I really want. The loads of work are just piling up, and I am loosing the will to want to do all of this work for what litle I get out of it... i really can't wait to go to college and live my own life. Today slept, which is another thing which I am deeply deprived of, and got up and watched 24 for 2 hours, which was really great. I really needed that time to do nothing and enjoy a show, but it always seems like I have somthing to worry about, even while I am having fun. All I can ever think about is how if I do this thing, that will mean that I can't do that thing, so I have to do it tonight, and that means that I will be up late, and that means I have to get up early, and that means im gonna be an asshole in school, which means i wont be able to study for my test 2m, and will have to stay up late 2m becuse Im gonna need a nap, and since that all happened on a monday this week (if you could follow my ramblings) that means that I am going to have a week of shit, plus we have an AP essay thing to write about, which Jaclyn was nice enough to tell me what it was about (b.c. Hawkins def. won't) and i dont know when im gonna study for that..... i just need a day to stay home from school and do nothing. But then again I'm gonna come back and have work and be in the same mess that I am in now. I dont know what to do. ((p.s. that gym project is due on wednesay.. and my teacher was soo nice she explained what I had to do exacltly and she was really nice to me about it, and it just made me soo happy because it doesnt seem that any of my teachers care about me as an individual anymore, like they did last year.) That;s another thing that is bothering me.... I've always had such good relationships with my teachres, and they were always soo helpful to me, but now Im in hign school and it's sooo differnt. Teachers care less, and its not thier fault, they have a lot to do, but i dunno, overall im happier in life i guess then last year because im just better mentally, but things are piling up and im stressed. That's all i can describe for today, stressed.

What I really want is someone to give me a back and neck massage for a half an hour, perhaps I will pay for that... i just need it. Okay, I've been here for about 10 minutesish and I have a lot of work to get done, so I say adios!