Fic: "Hidden Blessings" (Sam, Dean, OCs - Gen fic) - Ch 3&4
Continued...
*Chapter Three*
Sam strode through the automated glass doors of the hospital, and when he noticed the small gift shop just beyond the foyer on the right, he decided to check it out. Before he reached the open door, he stopped and looked through the large window that showcased a menagerie of stuffed animals and other miscellanea. One small item caught his eye, and grinning, he stepped through the door and went right to the plush animals.
Whimsical and adorable, the little stuffed fluorescent green frog grinned up at Sam with a facial expression that drew a chuckle out of him. A little stitched-on button over the frog’s belly said “press me” so Sam did, and the low-pitched ‘ribbit-ribbet’ brought an enchanted smile to Sam’s face. He pressed the button once more, and chuckled in delight over the sound.
His large hand craddling the frog, Sam carried it to the counter where a saleswoman waited. When she commented, “Cute, huh?” Sam grinned and admitted, “I couldn’t resist.” After a momentary pause, he added softly, “It’s for my daughter.”
The sale complete and the frog bagged, Sam exited the shop and found the elevators. Pushing the ‘up’ button, he waited for the first door to open, then once inside, selected the fifth floor. With him in the lift was an elderly woman in a wheelchair, accompanied by another, younger woman, obviously mother and daughter, Sam considered. He smiled and said ‘hello,’ and when the elevator dinged and stopped and the door opened, he held it to allow the women to exit freely. He nodded at their thanks, then followed after them.
Just down the hallway to the right of the elevators, Sam found the nurse’s desk. Behind the counter sat a blonde-haired woman who appeared to be around Sam’s age or a little older, wearing bright scrubs with a bold pattern of butterflies and ladybugs. When she looked up at him, Sam grinned at her, and noted the name on her badge. “Hi, Megan. I’m Sam Winchester. I’m here to see Lana Monroe and her daughter, Lili. Can I go on in?”
“If you’ll wait here just a minute, I’ll check.” She rose from her chair, and when she stood, she leaned toward him slightly, and said softly, “Lili hasn’t had a very good day, bless her heart.” Once Megan rounded the desk, she paused beside Sam and added, “I’ll be right back.”
Sam nodded and said, his voice low and husky, “Thanks.”
Within a few minutes, Megan returned, followed by another woman. Tall, slender, with long strawberry blond hair, she wearily pushed hair away from her face with a hand that, to Sam’s observant gaze, trembled slightly in exhaustion.
This, he surmised, was Lana. As she walked toward him, he saw her sizing him up, just as he was doing her. Her eyes widened imperceptibly and Sam wondered if, just as he’d seen other people do when first meeting him, she was a little intimidated by his size.
When she came to a stop just a few feet from him, Sam reached out to take one of her hands in his. “Lana...”
Lana allowed him to hold her hands only a moment before she pulled them from his only to wrap her arms around his waist and give him a hug. Her face was buried against his chest causing her voice to be muffled. “Thank you, Sam. I know all this must have come as a surprise to you, but I didn’t know where else to turn. You’re our last hope.” Lana sighed deeply, her voice low and shaky. She pulled back, and gazing up into the smoky blue depths of his eyes, added, “Lili’s sleeping right now, but please, come in. I want you to see her-to see why we need you so much.”
When she turned and walked toward an open doorway not far from where they stood, Sam followed, his steps a little hesitant. Nervous, he braced himself for what he would see.
When he stepped through the doorway, his gaze immediately fell on the small figure lying quietly on the bed. His heart quivered within his chest, and he gasped. There she lay, hooked up to IV tubes and monitors. His little girl, and Sam instantly fell in love.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Lana asked softly, her voice full of motherly love. “Even as ill as she is, my baby is...” She began to cry, her shoulders shaking with her sobs.
Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her close, wanting to comfort her but not really knowing how to do it, all things considered. Feeling a bit awkward from the display of emotion Lana was showing, Sam stood and let her cry.
“I’m sorry,” Lana said, wiping her eyes. “It just hits me sometimes, you know?”
Sam turned her to face him, and keeping his voice low and comforting, he said, “That’s completely understandable, Lana. This is a lot to deal with, but-forgive me for asking-but are you on your own with this? I mean, is there a husband or family?”
Lana shook her head, then gesturing at a couple chairs across the room that lined the windowed wall next to the bed, allowed Sam to escort her to one of them, his hand at her elbow. Once they were sitting, she spoke softly. “Patrick and I were married for a few years, and we wanted babies. God, we wanted them so much, but after a lot of testing, the doctors told us Patrick couldn’t father children. We were devastated, of course, but bless his heart, Patrick said we could try other methods. I knew how much he wanted children of his own, but there was just no way any child of mine would be his, by blood, at least. He was the one who suggested the route we ended up taking...and that’s where you came in.”
Sam nodded, remembering how he’d become involved, albeit in a distant way. He felt good, really good, that he’d been able to help them, and he felt bad that there’d been the need for it in the first place. He realized it’d kill me if I were in their place, wanting a baby so much and knowing it was impossible without some help from somewhere, someone...
Lana looked over at him, and after only a moment, looked away, embarrassment making her cheeks pinken with a rosy glow. “Can I ask why you did what you did, Sam? Why did you choose to donate your...sperm?”
Sam noticed her hesitation in saying the word. “I was a college student, Lana. I needed money. It wasn’t a spur of the moment thought or a decision made lightly, though. I wanted to help others. It’s kind of something my family does, you see...helping people...but I agree that this was a rather different way of going about it.” He grinned faintly, just enough to make the dimples in his cheeks pop out.
Lana nodded her head in agreement. “Well, anyway, because of your...help...Patrick and I were able to conceive. We didn’t know who had contributed, but we were so grateful. This man, whoever he was, had given us the greatest joy we had ever received. When we learned I was pregnant, we were over the moon. Patrick always had this huge grin on his face, and I...well...I was beside myself. Then when we learned I was carrying twins-“
“Twins?” Sam looked at Lana, flabbergasted. “I...twins? But, what happened? Lili-“
“I’m sorry, Sam. It’s hard to talk about, but Matthew, Lili’s brother, died before birth. He-“ Lana hung her head, the honeyed locks of her hair hiding her face from Sam’s view until she raised her head once more and, lifting a hand to sweep the hair away from her face, looked at him once more. “He was so tiny, Sam. When Patrick was allowed to hold him, he could fit Matt into the palm of his hand. Other than being so small, he was perfect, Sam...my baby boy.” Tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.
His own emotions overwhelming him, Sam allowed tears to stream down his cheeks. A large teardrop plopped on his hand where it lay resting on his denim-covered thigh. He gave Lana some time to recover, needing the time himself. After a few minutes, he lifted the hand from his leg and thumbed his tears away, then reached out and covered Lana’s clasped hands with his.
He had to know. “I’m sorry, but where’s Patrick, Lana? Why isn’t he here with you?”
Lana sighed deeply, raggedly, before she replied, “When I was seven months pregnant, and we hadn’t yet learned of Matt’s death, we learned that Patrick was ill. At first we thought it was just the flu or something, but it lingered, and he...he died suddenly one day. It was so unexpected. By that time, I had also lost Matthew, and...God, Sam, I was devastated. First Matthew, then Patrick, and then when Lili was born and the doctors told me how frail and ill she was--“
Sam was sickened. His heart ached for her, and there was nothing he could do but pull her close and hold her while she wept fresh tears. She’d been alone, forced to deal with everything without any help or comfort. Had he only known...but he hadn’t. He’d had no clue. “I’m here and I’m going to help. You’re not in this alone anymore.”
*Chapter Four*
A small voice from the bed, groggy and a little breathy, called out, “Mommy?” Lana jumped up from her chair and went to the bedside, and reaching out, smoothed the lank strands of dark brown hair from her daughter’s face. “Hey, pumpkin! Did you have a nice nap?”
Lili looked up at her mother and, seeing the loving and tender expression there, smiled weakly. Comforted by her mother’s presence, Lili turned her head and noticed a strange man standing by one of the chairs in the corner. “Who’s that, Mommy? He’s talllllll!”
Lana glanced over her shoulder at Sam and shared an amused look with him before turning back to Lili to answer the child’s question. “He’s a friend of Mommy’s, sweetie. He’s come to visit you. Is that ok?”
Sam looked on as mother and child spoke softly to one another, and he studied his daughter now that she was awake. One side of her face was creased with wrinkles from the scrunched-up fabric of her pillow from where she’d had her head resting while she was asleep, and yet it was flushed with color. He felt his heart contract with pride to see that she resembled him in her coloring, as well as the fact she too bore a tiny mole, although hers was at the left corner of her mouth. When she looked over at him and gave him a sweet smile, he saw that even her eye color matched his, if not a shade darker blue.
Lana turned back and gestured at him with a beckoning hand. “Would you like to meet Lili, Sam?”
He grinned, and said, “I’d be honored.” He walked the few steps to join Lana at the side of the bed, and reached to take Lili’s small, delicate hand in his. The sheer size of his hand engulfed her tiny one. With an awed tone in his voice, he said, “I’ve never met a princess before, especially one as beautiful as you!”
Lili looked up at the huge man standing beside her mommy and giggled. “I’m not a princess, silly. I’m just a little girl.”
Sam shook his head in disbelief. “Nah...you must be a princess. All princesses are beautiful, and you’re beautiful, so you’re-“
“Am I a princess, Mommy?” Lili interrupted him as she looked up at her mother for confirmation. If Mommy said it was true, then it must be.
“You are to me, pumpkin,” Lana said then sent Sam another look. “Sam’s really smart, baby. If he says you’re a princess, then I believe him.”
Lili gazed at Sam a moment as if she were trying to decide for herself if what he said was true. Finally, nodding her head, she said, “I am a princess, Mommy! But where’s my crown?”
Sam laughed softly at her question. “I don’t know about that, sweetheart, but every princess has to have a frog to kiss, right?” He stepped away from the side of the bed just long enough to retrieve the bag he’d brought into the room. He reached inside and drew the plush frog out and presented it to Lili. “He met me on the way here, and during our conversation, he said he was looking for Princess Lili. I told him I was coming to see you, so he came with me.”
Lili took the frog from Sam’s hand and gazed at it lovingly. She pressed the button on its belly and when she heard its ribbet-ribbet she giggled and hugged it to her chest. “Thank you!” she smiled at Sam, then pressed the frog’s belly a few more times, and each ribbet produced peals of giggles from her.
Sam was completely enchanted with this child of his, this child he’d never expected to know of let alone have the chance to meet and grow attached to so quickly. His heart ached with love for her.
Within a short space of time, though, he could see how tired and weakened she was. He looked over at Lana and their gazes met, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. He understood, and nodded his head slightly, then turned back to face Lili. “Princess, I going to leave you for now.” He bowed low over the bed and pressed a soft kiss upon the back of her hand, the one free of IV tubes. “Can I come see you again, soon? I’ll bring your crown with me...”
Lili, visibly weakened from the visit, nodded her head and said, her voice faint, “Don’t forget.”
“I won’t, sweetheart,” Sam promised. When he turned and walked toward the hospital room door, Lana followed him. He stopped and looked at her, compassion and love for the child on the bed filling his smoky gaze. “When I come back, do you mind if my brother comes with me?”
“Your brother? Dean, right?” Lana asked, her voice low.
“Yeah. When I told him I planned to come here, to Seattle, he insisted on coming along. Lana, we both want to do whatever we can to help Lili. We’ll be tested, whatever. Just say the word and we’re there.” Sam pressed a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it gently.
Lana smiled her thanks. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that, Sam. By all means, bring your brother. He’s Lili’s uncle, after all, and if he wants to help-“
“Good. I’ll do that. Call anytime, and let us know what we need to do, and when, and where to do it. We’re at your beck and call.” Sam reached for her hands, and held them, surrounding their daintiness with his large ones.
Lana gave him a look of surprise, but didn’t comment on his gesture. Instead, she said, “Thanks, Sam...for everything.” She allowed her hands to be held in his a few moments then pulled them away and stepped back. “I’ll call.”
Sam smiled at her, then after one last look toward the bed and his once more sleeping daughter, stuffed frog clasped tightly to her chest, he nodded and stepped from the room.
* * * * *
When Sam pushed open the door to the motel room, he found Dean sitting at the small kitchenette table, cleaning their weapons. To one side lay the ones he’d already gone over, and in his hands he held his favorite gun, his pearl-handled nickle-plated Colt 1911 A1 .45 caliber semi-automatic. Sam smirked as he crossed the room to sit on the edge of his bed, and kicked off his boots. Dean, he thought, loved that gun almost as much as he loved his baby, the Impala. Almost...but not quite.
He was pulling his second boot off when Dean turned around in his chair and asked, “So...how’s Lili?” Sam could read in Dean’s voice and the expression on his face that his brother was truly concerned for his niece, this child neither of them had known about a week ago. “What did Lana have to say?”
Sam piled his pillows against the carved headboard, then leaned back against them and stretched out his long legs. He sighed, and after running his fingers through his hair, replied, “Lili’s frail. Tiny, for a child her age. Beautiful...” He gave Dean a look filled with all the emotions he wasn’t sure how to express in words. “God, Dean-I honestly don’t know how Lana has held up all this time. She’s been alone in this since before Lili’s birth.” Sam went on to fill in the details that Lana had shared with him, and as he talked, he watched the varied expressions as they crossed Dean’s face. Compassion, concern, dismay-every emotion he had felt himself as he listened to Lana expound on what she had been through with Lili over the last years.
Dean shook his head in amazement. “Shit, Sam. She must be an amazing woman.” He turned to the side long enough to set his gun on the table, then turned to face Sam once more. “When can I go see Lili? I want to, you know.”
“I know,” Sam acknowledged. “I asked Lana, and she said you’re welcome to visit. She said, ‘He’s her uncle, after all.’” He met Dean’s grin with one of his own, understanding completely how much it meant to his brother to hear his presence in Lili’s life was welcomed. He added, “I told her we’ll do whatever’s needed.”
Dean nodded, then rose from his chair and crossed the room to stand in front of the window that looked out over the parking lot. He thrust his hands into his pockets, and stood there, silent for a few minutes.
Sam watched him, wondering what was going on in his brother’s head. His own thoughts were many, and they were all centered on Lili and what would come in the next days...weeks...however long it took for them to find a way to help his little girl.
When Dean turned around to face Sam once more, it was with a resolute look on his face. “Damn straight. If we’ve ever done anything important in this life, Sam, this is it.”
Sam never loved his brother more than at that moment. Knowing how much Dean despised what he called ‘chick-flick moments,’ Sam elected to keep it simple. He pushed his lanky body off the bed and rose to join his brother at the window. He rested a hand on Dean’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “Thanks, dude.”
Dean nodded. Sam could tell there was more on his brother’s mind, so he stood there and waited for Dean to say what else he had to say. He didn’t have to wait long.
“Sam, as thrilled as I am that you were getting some action back then-you dog-“ Dean grinned and gave Sam the thumbs up. “I’m not stupid. I’ve done the math, and I know there’s a lot more to this story you haven’t told me. Lili’s six, you said...“ Dean paused and waited for Sam to reluctantly acknowledge the fact, then continued, “...and I figured that Jessica wasn’t exactly the only girl you had at Stanford.”
“Dean-“
“Hold on a minute-“ Dean held out his hand in a ‘let me finish’ gesture. “There’s a lot you’re not telling me, and I want to know when you were with Lana, why you haven’t told me about her before now, and even more importantly, why you didn’t suit up when you did have this hook-up.”
Sam started to turn and walk away, wanting like hell to avoid the conversation, but when Dean reached out and grabbed him by the arm to stop him, Sam paused in his retreat, and only jerked his arm from Dean’s grasp. He glared at Dean and grumbled, “It’s really none of your business, is it, Dean? You have no right to ask me for details when you’re the master of keeping your own council.”
“We’re not talking about me, Sam. We’re talking about you, having sex with this woman, and not taking precautions. I’m completely on board with you getting it on with her, but where were the condoms, dude? I distinctly remember stashing a box of them in your duffle before you left.” Dean smirked, and Sam could see how proud he was to have thought he was watching out for his baby brother, something that had become deeply ingrained in him since the day Sam was born.
“Dean-“ Sam stared at his brother and realized the moment had come when he would have to have the discussion he’d been trying to avoid. Sighing, he turned his back and walked across the room to his bed and sat wearily on the edge. He leaned forward and rested his chin on a hand, his elbow propped on a thigh. He looked at Dean for a long moment then, looking away again, began to speak...
“I, uh, was short of funds one semester and I decided to, uh, be a sperm donor.” There was a moment of silence, and when Sam gazed up and into his brother’s face, the sheer WTF expression made him grin momentarily. He wiped the smile off his face and continued speaking. “I’d heard that smart, healthy, nice looking guys got big bucks for something like that.”
That statement finally broke Dean out of his shock and into a fit of hysterical laughter. Sam watched as Dean collapsed onto his bed and laid back, his guffaws shaking his body and tears of hilarity coursing down his face. After several long minutes, Dean was finally able to control himself, and sat up to look over at Sam.
“Dude, I can’t get over the fact that you whacked off and sold it! At least tell me you got some cute little nurse to give you a hand-“
Sam glared at Dean and said succinctly, “Fuck you,” which sent Dean into another round of laughter. Beyond being impatient with Dean and his dickhead sense of humor by this point, Sam grabbed his cell phone and his wallet, and stomped out of the motel room, chased all the while by Dean’s mirth.
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