Fic: "Hidden Blessings" (Sam, Dean, OCs - Gen fic) Chapters 1&2
Characters: Dean, Sam, OCs
Word count: 23,582
Summary: A decision Sam made while at Stanford comes back to change his life. Dean's vow, "We take care of our own," takes new meaning for Sam.
Warnings/Rating: PG13 for some language; major angst, schmoop, humor. Author’s note at end of fic to explain one other that I won’t give here…
Disclaimer: I don’t own Sam and Dean, Kripke and CW do. I just play with them awhile. No money has been made from this fic.
A/N: I began writing this story back in 2009, so in the SPN timeline it is post-apocalypse. In the meantime, the show has made it completely out-of-date and, thus, Kripked/Gambled/Carvered. Whatever you want to call it! I couldn’t leave it unfinished. I’m just sorry that it took me so long to get it done. Thanks to all my readers who have stuck with me over these three-plus years. I hope it was worth the wait.
This is a 14 chapter fic, so I will post it in two-chapter segments. Enjoy!
*Chapter One*
Sam tossed his cell phone on the bed beside him and gasped in shock. “Holy shit!”
Dean, who’d been reclining on the bed next to Sam’s in the rustic mountainside motel room where they were staying, glanced over at his brother. “What? Who were you talking to?” He tossed the magazine he’d been reading aside and sat up, reached for the TV remote and turned the set off, then turned to toss his legs over the side of the bed to face Sam. When his brother continued to sit there silently, Dean moved from his bed to Sam’s, and leaning in slightly, asked, concern making his voice husky. “What’s wrong, Sammy?”
Even though he knew Dean wanted details, Sam wasn’t sure how much he wanted to divulge. He knew keeping secrets from Dean often got him in trouble. All the times before the whole apocalypse shit came down and he’d kept his blood-drinking and demon-banishing from Dean, he knew it was wrong to keep secrets from the best friend he’d ever had - his brother. Still, there were times he had to keep his secrets to himself, or at least the deepest, darkest ones. Maybe, he thought, he could share without going into every minute detail and baring every bit of his soul. Pulling himself from the thoughts whirling frantically in his mind, Sam turned to look over his shoulder at Dean. “It was, uh, one of my old college friends. Rebecca, remember?”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, I do. She’s the one, uh, who asked for help when her brother was arrested for murder. It was a shapeshifter who did it instead...the best looking shapeshifter I’ve ever had the pleasure to gank!” he grinned.
Sam grunted at Dean’s remark, then sighed. “It was...uh...a surprise, Dean. For me, anyway.” Oh man...here it comes...Sam inwardly moaned. I have to tell him something, and I know sure as shit he’s going to razz me about it...
Dean grinned and said, “Really? Huh. I’ve got nothing else to do. Hit me with it, Sammy.”
Sam nodded his head, then moved his long, lanky body up his bed to lean back against the bunched up pillows along the rough-hewn headboard. He exhaled deeply, causing the bangs over his forehead to flutter out, only to fall back down over his eyes. He looked over at Dean, expecting his reply to send his brother into a shit-fit. “I won’t go into the details about how it happened, but it seems I’m a father.”
Yep. A shit-fit it was, and a very respectable one, coming from his big brother.
Dean rose from the bed and turned to face Sam, his arms thrust out in shock. “What the fuck were you thinking, huh, Sam? Oh yeah, that’s right. You weren’t. You were using the little brain rather than the one in your head. Shit, Sammy! Didn’t Dad and I teach you anything? You never, ever hook up with a woman without suiting up. Never, Sam.”
Sam shook his head, but kept his calm when he replied, “It wasn’t like that, Dean.”
“Then what the hell was it? I don’t like this, Sam. Who is this chick? For all you know she could be some bimbo who’s angling to trap you or some such bullshit like that. Goddamn, Sammy!” Dean raged as he moved around the room, continuing to rant about Sam’s lack of self-control and lousy taste in tail.
Sam ran his hands through his hair, pushing it away from his face. He waited until Dean’s fury edged back a few notches, then he calmly stated, “I won’t go into details, but it wasn’t like you think, Dean. I didn’t go into it without a lot of thought. The fact remains that I have a daughter, and she needs my help.”
His temper still bubbled under the surface, but Dean forced himself to calm down enough to listen to Sam. He sank down to sit on the edge of his bed and ran a hand over his face, the contact of palm over whisker stubble making a raspy sound. “A daughter? Really? What’s wrong that she needs your help?”
Sam reached for his phone and rubbed his thumb over the darkened screen, recalling the gist of the short conversation he’d had with Rebecca. “I don’t have all the details. All I know, really, is that a PI visited Rebecca, wanting information on how to locate me. I guess this child...my daughter...has a medical emergency going on right now, and they need her biological father...me...to see if I can help. I guess she needs a transplant or something.” Just the idea that this child of his was ill and there may be anything at all he could do to help made Sam determined to follow through with the plans that were already forming in his mind. I may not have had a good relationship with Dad, but I can do whatever the hell is needed to be there for my own child.
“Shit...” Dean muttered softly. “That’s heavy.”
“Yeah. I gotta go, Dean. I need to see if there’s anything I can do. I mean, how can I not go, huh? It’d drive me freaking nuts if I ignored Rebecca’s call and did nothing.” Sam looked over at Dean, studying his brother’s face, and he hoped Dean would back him up on what he planned to do, whatever the outcome. He knew, though, that after everything they’d gone through together...the trust broken, words said, lies told, and brotherly bond damaged...there was every chance in the world Dean would expect him to blow off all his obligations and forget about the fact he had a child who needed him. Sam braced himself for the disappointment he was sure Dean would dish out.
Dean leaned forward and reached out to rap supportively on Sam’s denim-covered knee. “I know you do. When do you want us to leave?” he asked as he rose from the bed to start gathering up his stuff that was scattered around the room. He moved around the foot of his bed and entered the open door of the bathroom, and started grabbing his shaving gear to thrust it into the case he kept the items in. Returning to the bedroom, he tossed the case on his bed and reached for a pair of ragged, holey jeans and began to roll them up.
“You want to go with me?” Sam sent Dean a look of amazement. “I’m an adult, dude. I can handle this on my own, you know.”
“Yeah, I know that, but why should you have to?” Dean asked as he stashed the jeans into his duffle. “Besides, what if this daughter of yours needs my help too? I’m goin’, Sam.” When Sam continued to give him a bemused look, Dean grinned and added, winking slyly, “Besides, I just have to check out this woman you hooked up with...y’know, give her my Dean Winchester Seal of Approval.”
“Dude, I told you it wasn’t like that...” Sam insisted, knowing Dean would continue to razz him until he spilled more details, which he refused to do. If Dean knew the truth of the matter, he’d never hear the end of it, and he wasn’t about to put himself into that situation. Some things, Sam vowed, you kept to yourself.
“Doesn’t matter. Let’s go,” Dean stated, considering the subject closed.
Sam grinned and, following Dean’s example, rose from his bed and started gathering his stuff.
Within an hour, they had Dean’s baby loaded and were driving down the highway, the reflection of the motel growing smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.
*Chapter Two*
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it,” Sam said then ended the call he’d been having with the private investigator. Having a few questions answered helped ease his mind, but he still had the call to make to Lana Monroe, the woman who was the mother of his child. He took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for what he knew could be an emotional conversation.
He keyed in the number the PI gave him, then waited as the dial tone buzzed, anxiety knotting his gut. After the fourth ring, the call was answered, and a soft, quiet feminine voice fell upon his ear.
“Hello?”
“Um, hi. I’m Sam. Sam Winchester. I was given your number and was told that I’m, well, that I’m your daughter’s father.” His stomach continued to roll painfully, cramps tightening his belly, making him wince.
“Sam? Thank God you called. I was so worried I would never hear from you. I know this probably hit you from out of the blue, and I’m sorry you had to learn about Lili this way, but I didn’t know what else to do.” Her voice was filled with the fear and anguish Sam expected from the parent of an sick child. He felt his own concern rising as Lana continued. “Sam, I know I shouldn’t ask this of you, but I have no other choice. Would you consider coming to Seattle? We...Lili and I...need you. Please? Her health, it’s...it’s bad, Sam. Real bad.” She continued speaking, her voice low and shaky, as she told Sam how serious their daughter’s health actually was. Hearing her words, Sam felt for the first time true fear that maybe it was too late, that maybe now, when he’d just learned he was a father, his child would just as quickly be yanked away from him before he even had the chance to get to know her.
Sam cleared his throat of the lump that had grown there. “Lana, that’s one of the reasons why I’m calling. I’m on my way. In fact, we should be there in less than an hour.”
“We?” Lana asked, her small voice rising in tone questioningly. “I’m sorry, Sam. I never even thought to ask if you’re married. Do you have a family?”
“No, I’m not married. The ‘we’ I mentioned is my brother and me.” He sighed, then continued, “Listen, Lana...I know it’s getting late, and you must be exhausted by all that’s been going on with Lili. I promise, first thing in the morning, I’ll be there at the hospital, and we can talk about what needs to be done and how I can help. I...I’m just sorry I couldn’t have been there sooner. I would’ve been, if I’d known.”
“Oh, Sam--”
He could hear the tears in her voice, and it didn’t surprise him that his own eyes were tearing up. “Hang in there, ok? I’m on my way.”
“Thank you, Sam. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you for this. I-“
“You don’t have to thank me, Lana. I’m her dad. I’ll see you in the morning.” Sam ended the call, his heart heavy with all Lana had shared with him. He slipped his phone into his pocket, and for a few minutes tried to gather his thoughts before he turned in his seat and looked at Dean. “Dude, this doesn’t look good. With Lili, I mean.” He found his brother splitting his attention between the road and him. Music played softly in the background; at the moment it was Bad Company’s “Ready for Love.”
His voice deep with concern, Dean asked, “What is it, Sammy? How bad is it?”
Sam took a moment to gather his thoughts, and to try to calm the nerves caused by worry and anguish tying his stomach into knots. He rubbed his abdomen as if it would ease the ache there. “It’s bad. Lili’s only six, and she’s had a rough time of it most of her life. From the time she was born, Lana said, Lili has constantly been sick with one thing or another. I guess her immunity is compromised, and it doesn’t take much for her to get sick, and it’s usually something major.”
“What is it this time?” Dean asked as he slowed the car before edging off the merge lane to get on the freeway. They were on the outskirts of Seattle and traffic was heavy that time of day.
Sam took a deep breath and pressed a broad hand to his chest. He hadn’t even seen or met his little girl, and already his concern for her made his chest tighten and hurt because he wasn’t sure what to expect. He hung his head and tried to shake off all the niggling doubts crowding his head, but they wouldn’t leave him.
“Dude? Did you hear me?” Dean tapped Sam on the upper arm to get his attention.
“Huh?” Sam asked, startled.
“I asked what Lili’s problem is this time. Did Lana tell you?”
“Um, yeah, a little bit.” Sam cleared his throat before adding, “She said that Lili is in end-stage renal disease.”
Dean jerked his attention from the road to give Sam a shocked look. “That’s...what? It has to do with the kidneys, right?”
“Yeah, it does. Apparently it happens when the kidneys can’t remove waste or control salts in the body anymore. Without dialysis or a kidney transplant, it’s usually fatal.” Sam rubbed at his temples where a headache was throbbing. “Lili has been on dialysis for quite a while, but it’s gotten to the point she has to have a transplant soon or she’ll die. Lana says she’s not a match, and so far they haven’t found anyone else that’s a match either. I may be her last hope.”
Dean muttered an expletive under his breath then said firmly, “Maybe not, bro. They can test me too.”
“Really? You’re kidding!” Sam looked across at Dean, feeling totally thrown out in left field from his brother’s statement. “Why would you want to, Dean? She’s-“
“She’s my niece, Sammy. Why are you so surprised anyway? We risk our lives for strangers all the time. Why would this time be any different?” When Sam didn’t reply, Dean looked over at Sam and noted the thoughtful expression on his brother’s face. Pushing his irritation at Sam away, Dean returned his attention to his driving, leaving Sam to his thoughts.
By the time they located a motel, which happened to be fairly close to the hospital, it was too late in the day for Sam to put in his appearance there. Besides, he thought as he lugged in his duffel and laptop from the car, he was too drained mentally and emotionally to face what he knew was coming. He needed a good night’s sleep before he’d feel ready to meet his daughter and her mother, and yet he knew it would be a lost cause. I’ll be lucky if I can get in an hour or two, Sam thought, sighing exhaustedly.
Usually, after they’d had a long day on the road, the brothers played Rock/Paper/Scissors for first dibs on the bathroom. Dean surprised Sam when he said off-handedly, “No need for RPS tonight. Shower’s yours, dude. Get in while the getting’s good.”
Not looking the gift horse in the mouth, Sam nodded his thanks and gathered up his shaving kit and a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom, not noticing the expression Dean wore on his face as he watched his brother tread tiredly inside, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
* * * * *
The next morning, as the men sat at a table in a little diner across the street from their motel, Sam cleared his throat before commenting casually, “Uh, Dean, d’you mind if I make my first visit to see Lana and Lili alone?” He knew Dean was as curious about the two as much as he was himself, but he needed to do this alone, at least this first time.
Dean finished swallowing the bite of sausage he had in his mouth, following it with a sip of coffee before he replied. “This is your deal, Sam. Your call. We’re not on a hunt this trip, but the weapons can always use a going over. I’ll work on that while you visit the ladies. No prob...but--”
“But what?” Sam asked, then reading the look on Dean’s face, understood. “Did you, uh, want to come with?” He realized that his brother’s abandonment issues were raising their ugly head, but Dean didn’t want to come right out and ask to be allowed to tag along. The habit of looking after his brother was long and well-established, as comfortable as an old shoe, and Dean, Sam realized, found it hard to give it up, even at times like this when it wasn’t necessary. Appreciated, but unnecessary.
After a moment, Dean shook his head and said, “Nah...this is your deal. I’ll go meet Lili later.” He visibly erased the slightly hangdog look from his face, and raising his coffee cup to his lips, took a long pull of the cooling brew.
Sam nodded his head in reply. “Good. I’ll, uh, check in with you later once I see what’s going on, and if there’s anything they need from me today. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone-“
“Dude, I don’t need a babysitter,” Dean said dryly, poking in the air with his fork at Sam. He added, “We’re not attached at the hip. Do what you gotta do.”
“Thanks,” Sam grinned at his brother’s typical dry wit, then surprised himself by admitting, “I’m nervous, Dean. I’m...I don’t...”
Dean studied the food on his plate a few moments before he met Sam’s gaze with his own, and said, “I know. You have every right to be. Shit, Sammy, it’d freak me out if I learned I had a kid, but to face what you are...I don’t know, dude. I can’t say I envy you, but this is, well, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.”
Sam responded to Dean’s remark with a startled jerk back in his seat. “A blessing?” Just when he thought he knew and understood every tiny nuance of his brother, Dean could find a way to surprise him. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Dean hedged, “look at it this way. You’ve just learned you have a child. After all the crap we’ve seen and experienced in our life, did you ever really expect to be a dad? I don’t know about you, but I’ve always expected to one day be battling some creepy ass mofo and finally bite it...for good this time. To never have a family-a wife and 2.5 kids and a dog and a house with a white picket fence-I just never saw it as my lot in life. You, Sammy, you’re the one who ought to have a nice, quiet, peaceful life. I took you away from that, and you don’t know how many times I’ve kicked myself in the ass for it. But, I thought what’s done is done. This is our life and we lead it the best way we know how. But now...Sam, you have a daughter. I hope like hell this works out for you.”
Sam could read Dean’s face like it was a book, so the hint of embarrassment Dean felt for his out-of-character chick-flick moment put a grin on Sam’s face. Appreciating his brother’s sentiment, he decided not to razz Dean about it, so he leaned over his plate and took a bite of his french toast.
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