Something to Hold Onto
Word Count: 1001
Rating: PG
Challenge: Squee. This isn't total squee, but it has some moments of re-connection & hope.
Spoilers: Everything through "Resistance"
General Disclaimer: I claim no property rights in any BSG materials, and am making no money, and thanks for the go-ahead, Ron Moore!
Summary: Kara comes home, and has 2 conversations. I'm not so sure how well this meets the challenge, but it's fairly cheerful and it's going to be Jossed very soon, I think, so I'm postin'!
___
Something to Hold on to
by Idlerat
“I kept my pants on the whole time.”
Lee wheeled around in his chair and just gaped at her.
“Wasn’t easy, either.” He was on his feet, but he didn’t touch her. It was pretty clear he was trying for the smirk, but it wasn’t working. It didn’t usually. You really have to believe that shit. He had a limited supply of smug.
“You’re back.”
“Am I?” She mocked looking around for herself. He smiled, but there was too much emotion in his eyes.
“For frak’s sake, Lee, you’re such a woman. No wonder you couldn’t hack the service. HA!”
“Yeah, well, we can’t all have iron balls, Kara.” That was better. “What are you doing here? Does my father know you’re here?”
The frakked up part was coming sooner than expected.
“He sent me.”
“He sent you.”
“Yeah.”
“To talk to me? Bring me back?”
“To talk to you. Cause I’m such a diplomat. HA!”
“What does he want?”
“He wants to talk to the President. Through you.”
“Through me. Won’t that get in the way of the court martial?”
“Believe it or not, I don’t really think he’s that mad.”
It was Lee’s turn to snort. “Yeah, right.”
“OK, he’s mad. But he knows it’s a frakked up situation. He knows who you are, y'know?”
Lee laughed again, but it was half-hearted. He was relieved. Good.
“Hey, flyboy, you’re forgetting to be impressed. I brought back almost 80 survivors from Caprica, and a dozen planes.” She made a bow. “And the Arrow of Apollo. If you’ve been missing something vital.” She snorted.
"I'm impressed, Kara. I'm impressed.”
They stared at each other some more. They did that a lot. What the hell had the old man been thinking, sending her of all people to do the talking? Like he trusted her any more than he trusted Lee right now. But it was pretty clear that the Commander had decided it was time to roll a hard six.
~~~~
The actual conversation with the old man hadn’t been all soft and cuddly, of course. For one thing, it had started with him throwing her in the brig the minute she got on board. Three days in solitary; 800 pushups. On day four, he showed up and told the guard to leave.
“On your feet, Lieutenant.”
“Yes, sir.” So she still had her rank. He even returned her salute- slightly.
“At ease.” He’d let her out into the guard area, told her to sit down, poured her a glass of water. And then he'd sat down, almost fell down; he looked about a hundred years older. For the first time, amazingly, it occurred to her to feel guilty. But she didn’t speak, just met his eyes.
“Do you regret it yet?”
“Not yet, sir.”
The old man let out a huff and gazed at her. “Talk to me, Kara.”
“Getting to Caprica and recovering the Arrow was pretty simple, sir. I landed at Delphi…”
“Stop. I’ve had reports from Helo and that raptor crew you found and the civilians. Talk to me.”
She tried to think. Something was definitely wrong with him- something physical. What the hell had been going on here? But he wanted her to talk. Why had she betrayed him- that seemed like a fair guess, if she had to take a stab at a topic.
“I didn’t do it because I was angry, sir.”
“The hell you didn’t.”
“I believed. I still believe.”
“Since when has the military given a good gods damn what you believe? I’ve seen you shrug off command to follow your own instincts plenty of times, but stealing a major military asset to indulge the whim of a civilian? And don’t tell me it wasn’t personal. It’s always personal with you. You’re not Lee.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but what does that mean, ‘I’m not Lee’?”
The old man sighed. “Lee’s gone. I was shot. Colonel Tigh declared martial law while I was down. Lee helped Roslin escape. He had help, obviously- I don't know who or how many- it’s a gods damn mess.”
“You were shot, sir?”
“Sharon Valerii.”
Their eyes met; Kara barely nodded. There was no point in asking if he was all right- what was he going to say? He said it anyway.
“I’m fine.”
“Glad to hear it, sir.”
“You should be. Do you understand what your actions set in motion, Kara? After Roslin manipulated you into stealing the raider, and she refused to step down, I had her arrested. Lee tried to stop it and landed in the brig. Things went downhill from there. I need to understand why in the hell I can’t count on my most trusted officers to carry out orders anymore.”
“Everything’s different now, sir.”
“No. Everything is not different. What, when the going gets tough it’s just going to be anarchy? Everyone makes up their own rules as they go along? We’ll last ten minutes.”
“Yes, sir. Are you asking for my opinion, sir?”
“I’m asking what the hell you were thinking.”
She thought about the fight with Lee, about feeling betrayed by the CO because he’d lied about everything they were doing, about the gods who had always been there to hold on to. She’d clung to the service because she knew she’d just blow away without it, but then everything else got blown away (literally), and things were a mess (literally), and she couldn’t trust the CO and she couldn’t go to Lee cause she’d frakked that up just like everything, and it seemed like the gods were the only thing left. She might be wrong about the promises the gods had made; Laura Roslin might be nobody. But at least she could count on the gods not to break their promises. If it didn’t work out, it was her fault, Roslin’s fault. It wouldn’t be the gods who let her down.
“I did it because it can’t just be anarchy, sir. We need something we can hold on to.”
~
end
Rating: PG
Challenge: Squee. This isn't total squee, but it has some moments of re-connection & hope.
Spoilers: Everything through "Resistance"
General Disclaimer: I claim no property rights in any BSG materials, and am making no money, and thanks for the go-ahead, Ron Moore!
Summary: Kara comes home, and has 2 conversations. I'm not so sure how well this meets the challenge, but it's fairly cheerful and it's going to be Jossed very soon, I think, so I'm postin'!
___
Something to Hold on to
by Idlerat
“I kept my pants on the whole time.”
Lee wheeled around in his chair and just gaped at her.
“Wasn’t easy, either.” He was on his feet, but he didn’t touch her. It was pretty clear he was trying for the smirk, but it wasn’t working. It didn’t usually. You really have to believe that shit. He had a limited supply of smug.
“You’re back.”
“Am I?” She mocked looking around for herself. He smiled, but there was too much emotion in his eyes.
“For frak’s sake, Lee, you’re such a woman. No wonder you couldn’t hack the service. HA!”
“Yeah, well, we can’t all have iron balls, Kara.” That was better. “What are you doing here? Does my father know you’re here?”
The frakked up part was coming sooner than expected.
“He sent me.”
“He sent you.”
“Yeah.”
“To talk to me? Bring me back?”
“To talk to you. Cause I’m such a diplomat. HA!”
“What does he want?”
“He wants to talk to the President. Through you.”
“Through me. Won’t that get in the way of the court martial?”
“Believe it or not, I don’t really think he’s that mad.”
It was Lee’s turn to snort. “Yeah, right.”
“OK, he’s mad. But he knows it’s a frakked up situation. He knows who you are, y'know?”
Lee laughed again, but it was half-hearted. He was relieved. Good.
“Hey, flyboy, you’re forgetting to be impressed. I brought back almost 80 survivors from Caprica, and a dozen planes.” She made a bow. “And the Arrow of Apollo. If you’ve been missing something vital.” She snorted.
"I'm impressed, Kara. I'm impressed.”
They stared at each other some more. They did that a lot. What the hell had the old man been thinking, sending her of all people to do the talking? Like he trusted her any more than he trusted Lee right now. But it was pretty clear that the Commander had decided it was time to roll a hard six.
~~~~
The actual conversation with the old man hadn’t been all soft and cuddly, of course. For one thing, it had started with him throwing her in the brig the minute she got on board. Three days in solitary; 800 pushups. On day four, he showed up and told the guard to leave.
“On your feet, Lieutenant.”
“Yes, sir.” So she still had her rank. He even returned her salute- slightly.
“At ease.” He’d let her out into the guard area, told her to sit down, poured her a glass of water. And then he'd sat down, almost fell down; he looked about a hundred years older. For the first time, amazingly, it occurred to her to feel guilty. But she didn’t speak, just met his eyes.
“Do you regret it yet?”
“Not yet, sir.”
The old man let out a huff and gazed at her. “Talk to me, Kara.”
“Getting to Caprica and recovering the Arrow was pretty simple, sir. I landed at Delphi…”
“Stop. I’ve had reports from Helo and that raptor crew you found and the civilians. Talk to me.”
She tried to think. Something was definitely wrong with him- something physical. What the hell had been going on here? But he wanted her to talk. Why had she betrayed him- that seemed like a fair guess, if she had to take a stab at a topic.
“I didn’t do it because I was angry, sir.”
“The hell you didn’t.”
“I believed. I still believe.”
“Since when has the military given a good gods damn what you believe? I’ve seen you shrug off command to follow your own instincts plenty of times, but stealing a major military asset to indulge the whim of a civilian? And don’t tell me it wasn’t personal. It’s always personal with you. You’re not Lee.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but what does that mean, ‘I’m not Lee’?”
The old man sighed. “Lee’s gone. I was shot. Colonel Tigh declared martial law while I was down. Lee helped Roslin escape. He had help, obviously- I don't know who or how many- it’s a gods damn mess.”
“You were shot, sir?”
“Sharon Valerii.”
Their eyes met; Kara barely nodded. There was no point in asking if he was all right- what was he going to say? He said it anyway.
“I’m fine.”
“Glad to hear it, sir.”
“You should be. Do you understand what your actions set in motion, Kara? After Roslin manipulated you into stealing the raider, and she refused to step down, I had her arrested. Lee tried to stop it and landed in the brig. Things went downhill from there. I need to understand why in the hell I can’t count on my most trusted officers to carry out orders anymore.”
“Everything’s different now, sir.”
“No. Everything is not different. What, when the going gets tough it’s just going to be anarchy? Everyone makes up their own rules as they go along? We’ll last ten minutes.”
“Yes, sir. Are you asking for my opinion, sir?”
“I’m asking what the hell you were thinking.”
She thought about the fight with Lee, about feeling betrayed by the CO because he’d lied about everything they were doing, about the gods who had always been there to hold on to. She’d clung to the service because she knew she’d just blow away without it, but then everything else got blown away (literally), and things were a mess (literally), and she couldn’t trust the CO and she couldn’t go to Lee cause she’d frakked that up just like everything, and it seemed like the gods were the only thing left. She might be wrong about the promises the gods had made; Laura Roslin might be nobody. But at least she could count on the gods not to break their promises. If it didn’t work out, it was her fault, Roslin’s fault. It wouldn’t be the gods who let her down.
“I did it because it can’t just be anarchy, sir. We need something we can hold on to.”
~
end