Moments Between (squee, Billy/Dee)
Word Count: 1096
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: Squee, bsg1000
Spoilers: Everything through "Resistance"
General Disclaimer: Ron Moore is awesome, the show belongs to him, I'm staying far away from putting "Battlestar Galactica" and "money for me" in the same sentence. Besides, he gave us permission to do this. So there.
Summary: She understands, of course. It's always about the big picture, the Greater Good, and he's such a naïve idealist at heart.
She's aiding and abetting a treasonous movement that could end in her execution, but all she thinks as she makes her off-log calls is, He's leaving me. She understands, of course. It's always about the big picture, the Greater Good, and he's such a naïve idealist at heart.
But she's not. She knows what's happening, knows that it will splinter and destroy the fleet, and can't seem to care.
"You know why we have to do this," Billy whispers to her as they sit curled up in a corner removed from main thoroughfares.
Dee nods. Technically, she's on duty, but even Colonel Tigh saw the tension on her face when she reported to the bridge, so she's been given a few hours' break. "I know," she says. "Believe me, I know."
"It's wrong," he says. His arm tightens around her.
"I know."
They allow the silence to stretch.
"I'm not sure it's less wrong than what we have," Billy says at last.
Dee's not convinced either. She's been in the military since her high school graduation, and the idea of betraying her commander's implicit trust in her turns her stomach. Not my commander, she reminds herself. Her commander lies stretched on his back, breathing in hiccuping sighs, his skin bleached by the impersonal white of the medical ward.
No thinking about that now. Now she has to live for this moment, and the one directly following. The future means nothing. She shifts closer to Billy, twines a leg between his, and burrows into the cocoon of his arms. She can't stop touching him, ghosting a finger over his collarbone, testing the line of his jaw, discovering all the hidden soft places that reveal his youth.
He's just a boy, she thinks. A little boy dressed up in suits and working hard to maintain those worry lines. She feels old, then, frail and used up. And she can't imagine what use he could possibly have for her.
When he stiffens and pulls away, she realizes that she said her last thoughts aloud. Her face colors, a tinge of red under the brown.
"I have to have a use for you?" he asks. It's the first time she's ever heard him angry.
"It's not-"
"Is that what this is about? Using? Me using you? Until what? Until I get tired of it and move on to one of those other fifteen thousand women left of humanity?"
"No, Billy-" she tries, but he's hurt as well as angry now and her words do not calm him.
"I thought we were past that," he says, his eyes clashing with hers accusingly.
"We are," she insists. Billy doesn't look satisfied, though, and she knows that he'll have to talk this through, find the angles and worry at them until they bend to his satisfaction. He's nothing if not persistent. It's one of the things she kind of loves about him.
"I'm about to leave." He chokes on the words and Dee wants to take him into her arms and hold him until they can no longer be separated. "I'm about to leave and all you can think about is-"
"Hey," she says, just a little edge to her tone. "That's not fair."
He looks up, chastened, an apology in his eyes.
She can't bear to see him upset like this, so she changes tactics, looks up at him through her eyelashes, pouts slightly. "Don't really want to talk right now anyway. I can think of a lot of other things we could be doing, and most of them-"
His mouth closes over hers, her eyes close of their own accord, and for the next half-hour, she forgets that this is the end.
When she comes back to herself, Billy is spooned against her back, warm and comfortable. "I have to go," he murmurs, his breath washing over the curve of her neck.
Dee shakes her head and pulls his arm from where it strokes her shoulder until she's wrapped in him. Turning her face, she catches his lips in a soft kiss. "Don't," she says, her voice low.
"I have to," he says again, dropping a kiss on her nose and then rolling over, sitting up, running a hand through his hair.
She sits up too, and folds her arms over her bare chest, suddenly shy. Billy is bustling now. She knows him well enough to recognize frustration, so she holds back as he pulls on his clothes and smooths the wrinkles on his suit jacket with shaking hands.
When he's finished tightening his tie and adjusting his collar, he turns to her. "I'm sorry," he says.
"Don't be." Dee stands and pulls her uniform on, eyes downcast as she fights tears.
They stand in the darkness for a second before he cups her cheek in one large, warm hand and tilts her face up. "I love you," he says.
"Don't," says Dee. "Not now. Love me when you come back."
His lips quirk into a tiny smile at that. "I will," he says. "You'd better believe it."
And he's gone.
--------------------
The Cylons are coming-she can hear them clanging along the corridors, killing. She huddles in a corner, because corners are safe and dark so they can't see her and if they see her she's dead so don't move don't breathe stay still still still-
Her own screams catapult her awake, and Dee fights the covers for a moment before she calms. Before her bunkmates can ask, she grabs her toiletries, mutters something about the head, and flees.
She's watching the deckplates beneath her feet instead of where she's going, which is why she runs headlong into him. Shaken by her nightmare, disoriented by tears, she almost doesn't recognize him until she hears his voice.
"Dee?"
She squints up at him, disbelief twisting her expression. "Billy? What...wait, you-"
He shrugs self-consciously. "I couldn't," he says.
"Oh," she says. He takes a step back, and another, until she can see his face.
For a moment, they stand in perfect stillness, shocked into silence. Then she launches herself at him, slamming him into the bulkhead. He's laughing into her mouth as if their worries have evaporated into the infinity of space, and she's smirking at him, saying something she can't hear over the buzz in her ears.
"We make a crazy couple," he says while they're busy rediscovering each other with lips, hands, bumping noses, clashing teeth.
Dee breaks free just long enough to slant fingers across his mouth. "I love you," she whispers. "But now? Shut up."
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: Squee, bsg1000
Spoilers: Everything through "Resistance"
General Disclaimer: Ron Moore is awesome, the show belongs to him, I'm staying far away from putting "Battlestar Galactica" and "money for me" in the same sentence. Besides, he gave us permission to do this. So there.
Summary: She understands, of course. It's always about the big picture, the Greater Good, and he's such a naïve idealist at heart.
She's aiding and abetting a treasonous movement that could end in her execution, but all she thinks as she makes her off-log calls is, He's leaving me. She understands, of course. It's always about the big picture, the Greater Good, and he's such a naïve idealist at heart.
But she's not. She knows what's happening, knows that it will splinter and destroy the fleet, and can't seem to care.
"You know why we have to do this," Billy whispers to her as they sit curled up in a corner removed from main thoroughfares.
Dee nods. Technically, she's on duty, but even Colonel Tigh saw the tension on her face when she reported to the bridge, so she's been given a few hours' break. "I know," she says. "Believe me, I know."
"It's wrong," he says. His arm tightens around her.
"I know."
They allow the silence to stretch.
"I'm not sure it's less wrong than what we have," Billy says at last.
Dee's not convinced either. She's been in the military since her high school graduation, and the idea of betraying her commander's implicit trust in her turns her stomach. Not my commander, she reminds herself. Her commander lies stretched on his back, breathing in hiccuping sighs, his skin bleached by the impersonal white of the medical ward.
No thinking about that now. Now she has to live for this moment, and the one directly following. The future means nothing. She shifts closer to Billy, twines a leg between his, and burrows into the cocoon of his arms. She can't stop touching him, ghosting a finger over his collarbone, testing the line of his jaw, discovering all the hidden soft places that reveal his youth.
He's just a boy, she thinks. A little boy dressed up in suits and working hard to maintain those worry lines. She feels old, then, frail and used up. And she can't imagine what use he could possibly have for her.
When he stiffens and pulls away, she realizes that she said her last thoughts aloud. Her face colors, a tinge of red under the brown.
"I have to have a use for you?" he asks. It's the first time she's ever heard him angry.
"It's not-"
"Is that what this is about? Using? Me using you? Until what? Until I get tired of it and move on to one of those other fifteen thousand women left of humanity?"
"No, Billy-" she tries, but he's hurt as well as angry now and her words do not calm him.
"I thought we were past that," he says, his eyes clashing with hers accusingly.
"We are," she insists. Billy doesn't look satisfied, though, and she knows that he'll have to talk this through, find the angles and worry at them until they bend to his satisfaction. He's nothing if not persistent. It's one of the things she kind of loves about him.
"I'm about to leave." He chokes on the words and Dee wants to take him into her arms and hold him until they can no longer be separated. "I'm about to leave and all you can think about is-"
"Hey," she says, just a little edge to her tone. "That's not fair."
He looks up, chastened, an apology in his eyes.
She can't bear to see him upset like this, so she changes tactics, looks up at him through her eyelashes, pouts slightly. "Don't really want to talk right now anyway. I can think of a lot of other things we could be doing, and most of them-"
His mouth closes over hers, her eyes close of their own accord, and for the next half-hour, she forgets that this is the end.
When she comes back to herself, Billy is spooned against her back, warm and comfortable. "I have to go," he murmurs, his breath washing over the curve of her neck.
Dee shakes her head and pulls his arm from where it strokes her shoulder until she's wrapped in him. Turning her face, she catches his lips in a soft kiss. "Don't," she says, her voice low.
"I have to," he says again, dropping a kiss on her nose and then rolling over, sitting up, running a hand through his hair.
She sits up too, and folds her arms over her bare chest, suddenly shy. Billy is bustling now. She knows him well enough to recognize frustration, so she holds back as he pulls on his clothes and smooths the wrinkles on his suit jacket with shaking hands.
When he's finished tightening his tie and adjusting his collar, he turns to her. "I'm sorry," he says.
"Don't be." Dee stands and pulls her uniform on, eyes downcast as she fights tears.
They stand in the darkness for a second before he cups her cheek in one large, warm hand and tilts her face up. "I love you," he says.
"Don't," says Dee. "Not now. Love me when you come back."
His lips quirk into a tiny smile at that. "I will," he says. "You'd better believe it."
And he's gone.
--------------------
The Cylons are coming-she can hear them clanging along the corridors, killing. She huddles in a corner, because corners are safe and dark so they can't see her and if they see her she's dead so don't move don't breathe stay still still still-
Her own screams catapult her awake, and Dee fights the covers for a moment before she calms. Before her bunkmates can ask, she grabs her toiletries, mutters something about the head, and flees.
She's watching the deckplates beneath her feet instead of where she's going, which is why she runs headlong into him. Shaken by her nightmare, disoriented by tears, she almost doesn't recognize him until she hears his voice.
"Dee?"
She squints up at him, disbelief twisting her expression. "Billy? What...wait, you-"
He shrugs self-consciously. "I couldn't," he says.
"Oh," she says. He takes a step back, and another, until she can see his face.
For a moment, they stand in perfect stillness, shocked into silence. Then she launches herself at him, slamming him into the bulkhead. He's laughing into her mouth as if their worries have evaporated into the infinity of space, and she's smirking at him, saying something she can't hear over the buzz in her ears.
"We make a crazy couple," he says while they're busy rediscovering each other with lips, hands, bumping noses, clashing teeth.
Dee breaks free just long enough to slant fingers across his mouth. "I love you," she whispers. "But now? Shut up."