BSC #46 Mary Anne Misses Logan
Dude, what has been up with the non postings here this month? I’m so sad when I can’t get my BSC snark on. Anyways, my roommate is gone all day, these books are due back to the library tomorrow, so now is as good a time as any to recap one of my favorite Mary Anne books.
My computer freezes up and kicks me off when I try to do anything fancy, so once again, no cover. If you’re interested, it features a brown haired girl (presumably Mary Anne, if the mom jeans are any indication) on roller skates at Skateland, a mere second away from falling on her ass while three girls are trying to hoist her back up. Two of the girls are clearly Kristy and Claudia, while the third is a blond, either Stacey or Dawn. Since it is an MA book it would make more sense for it to be Dawn, however, the blond model is the model usually used to depict Stacey on covers, so I think it is actually supposed to be Stacey. I feel safe in assuming Dawn probably came with them to the arena but stomped off in a huff when MA and Kristy ordered cheeseburgers at the snack bar, and this moment was captured post hissy fit. Anyway, this scene is not in the book at all but thought you might want to know about the cover.
Chapter one, MA wastes no time in explaining to the reader the title of the book, as the first line is “I missed Logan.” She misses him so bad it hurts. She says they were so close it was like they were the same person. Isn’t this the guy who MA once accused of helping his sister steal her cat? And the one she was always bitching about because he wanted to dance with her at parties? And the one she cheated on during her stint at a Mother’s Helper in Sea City? Methinks MA is practicing some selective memory of her time with Logan Bruno. Anyways, she’s at her house alone, she’s bored, and so she regales us with the story of her life and friends’ lives, and then explains that she and Logan started dating earlier that year, but she broke it off because he was too controlling and pushy. Yeah, those are a couple of things I like to call warning signs, MA, and breaking up with him was probably a good thing. However, since it’s been a whole 5 books since The Greatest Couple in the World broke up, I suppose it is time for a reconciliation. Anyway, MA is super stressed about an upcoming English assignment, and thinks that only Logan could make her feel better. Oh whatever.
Anyways, MA is having an anxiety attack because her English project is to study an author with a randomly assigned group of about 4 or 5 kids. The project involves the entire 8th grade, so there are a lot of kids MA could get grouped with and most of the work will be done outside of school. That really doesn’t sound that bad, but MA explains she’s shy so she won’t talk to people she doesn’t know. Well, MA, not so good for you, because your life is going to be filled with instances where you’re going to have to talk to people you don’t know, and it seems like 13 is old enough to have figured that out.
Boring chapter 2. Stacey wears paisley printed leggings, Dawn is an individual, Mal doesn’t think she’s pretty (tellingly, MA offers no comment on what she thinks about Mal’s looks), and Jessi thinks she’s pretty hot shit (well, I’m reading between the lines here).
Babysitting time. MA is babysitting for the Kormans. Bill and Melody think that there is Toilet Monster, because the toilet makes weird noises. It’s stupid and lame, just like every other babysitting chapter.
Chapter 4, the inner workings of the club. MA says her job is the hardest. You volunteered for it, dummy. MA tells the other girls that the Kormans believe a monster lives in their toilets.
Chapter 5, MA is still stressed about the assignment. They are being put into their groups that day. Dawn for once earns cool points for telling MA she’s being a baby, and leather up. MA does not take this advice. Stacey suggests that MA think instead about which author she’s going to study, since she could get a really good one. And then the ghostie name drops several (real) famous authors, which was kind of cool. MA cheers up thinking about this, because, she tells us, she loves to read. No, MA! Loving to read is Mal’s one dimensional trait! You love to cry!
Anyway, despite most of the authors mentioned in this book being real, the one MA is assigned to is fictional, I’m pretty sure. I googled Megan Rinehart and didn’t come up with anything. Anyways, the people in her group are Miranda Shillaber (the person MA sat with at lunch for the entire 7th grade and then never spoke to again), Pete Black (a guy who has dated Claudia, Stacey, Dawn, and Laine Cummings, yet never moved beyond tertiary character status), and last, (and who didn’t see this coming?) Logan Bruno. And despite MA yammering on for the last 45 pages about how much she misses him, when she’s presented with a legitimate opportunity to start speaking with him again, she doesn’t want to do it. With MA, you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
Another babysitting chapter, Dawn is at the Kormans. Evidently Mama and Papa Korman are the latest members of the Stoneybrook meth or swingers club, where they now need a babysitter every other day. Whatever. Dawn leads the kids on a ghost hunt. So lame.
The next chapter all the kids get in their groups. Logan and MA are both uncomfortable. Miranda hates Pete Black because he once snapped her bra strap and broke it. Odds are, it was a $3.99 bra she got at Wet Seal and she really should have known better. But moving on. An English teacher approaches their group and says that Cokie Mason (who is MA’s “mortal enemy”) is really into Megan Rinehart, and he would like for her to switch with one of them so she can be in their group. Evidently switching is not allowed, but Cokie is a shitty student so he is making an exception for her. As we found out in Starring the Babysitter’s Club, the faculty is used to bending over backwards for Cokie. Anyway, Miranda hates Pete and just bought a cute new leopard print bra from American Eagle, so she jumps at the chance to move. MA bitches internally that Miranda is deserting her, but seeing as how she hasn’t said a word to her since the previous year I don’t think MA has a leg to stand on.
Anyways, Cokie sits down and proceeds to get her ho on trying to seduce Logan at the lunch table and tells everyone to come to her house for the next meeting. It’s awesome how once her teacher leaves, she doesn’t even pretend to care about the author they will be studying, as she uses the wrong name 8 times. I sort of think she’s saying the wrong name on purpose because she knows it’s pissing MA off.
The next chapter MA heads over to Cokie’s. She briefly explains her beef with Cokie: Cokie has resented her the whole school year because she liked Logan but Logan only had eyes for MA, and so Cokie has been playing tricks on the BSC and just being a bitch in general. She wants to be Logan’s beard, damn it! Anyways, Cokie lets her in, but is less than polite. Pete arrives a minute later and gets the same treatment. She’s much more welcoming when Logan shows up a minute after Pete. The group gets down to business and decides to pick 4 out of the 14 books Ms. Rinehart wrote. Cokie announces she read 4 books once when she was 10 years old, and it took her a week. It was those Beatrix Potter books, that are each about 35 pages. Fail, ghostie! I realize you’re trying to be funny and make sure the reader knows Cokie is a first class bimbo, but that was over the top. Cokie also asks if the author wrote any picture books. We get it, ghostie! Cokie is the Forrest Gump of SMS. Can we move on now? MA tries to walk out Cokie’s house slowly, so she can leave with Logan, but Cokie asks Logan out, and MA runs off crying. You snooze, you lose, honey.
Another evening of babysitting at the Kormans. More toilet monster drama, and I start wondering if I can finish this recap without alcohol. My money’s on no.
The next chapter MA is complaining about the nerve of Cokie and Logan, going out on dates. God, a girl asks a single guy out on a date? Whore. And he accepts, even though he used to date a different girl? Manwhore. Furthermore, MA thinks that Cokie is rubbing it in her face just to be mean. Uh, just a second here, Blanche Dubois- you broke up with him, so I’m guessing even if Cokie is mean spirited, she probably doesn’t know you’re still interested in Logan. I suppose it never occurred to you that maybe Cokie is just stoked that a guy she’s been into for the last year is finally available? But I guess it is Mary Anne’s world, we all just live in it, so of course Cokie is after Logan for no other reason than to fuck with MA.
Anyways, she heads for another group meeting, this time over at Pete Black’s. They decide they are each going to take one of the four books they read, and compare the book to the author’s life. That could be interesting. I always wondered what kind of fucked up life VC Andrews must have had to be able to come up with the shit she did. Anyways, Cokie keeps bringing up all her and Logan’s dates during the meeting, and MA is getting more and more pissed. Well, Cokie, you may have the intelligence of Paris Hilton, but I love you anyway. Pissing off Mary Anne is hot. Cokie asks if they only have to turn in one assignment, making it pretty obvious she’s not doing a damn thing, and if they want a good grade they better be willing to do her share. MA is livid, but I think she’s more pissed about Cokie going out with Logan than she is about Cokie slacking.
Anyways, the next chapter MA and Pete have finished their share, but Logan hasn’t finished his and Cokie hasn’t started hers. After Cokie and Logan leave, Pete says they will just have to do Cokie and Logan’s sections themselves, but no more meeting as a group if they aren’t willing to work. MA reluctantly agrees that just her and Pete will get together to finish the project. Later in the chapter, MA finds out that the English Department has been contacting all the authors the students have been researching, and three of them are coming to hear the presentations. Naturally, one of the three is Megan Rinehart. MA is stressed to hear that she has to give a speech about the author to the author, and for once, I don’t blame her. That would be kind of nerve wracking.
MA calls a meeting (with all group members) and Pete says he thinks they should each read their section aloud. After Logan and Cokie leave, Pete says they’ll turn in the completed paper to receive full credit, but they won’t share the paper with Logan and Cokie so the two won’t have anything to say during the presentation. MA is tickled to picture this happening to Cokie, but not so much with Logan.
Mary Anne mopes around her house trying to decide what to do. She doesn’t want Logan to be embarrassed, but she’s angry at him and doesn’t want to help him. You broke up with him, dumbass! He’s allowed to date other girls! And you don’t know that he hasn’t done the work, since you’ve all been working individually on each section. Anyways, MA gets a phone call and of course it’s Logan. He has his section written, and he wants to coordinate it with what MA and Pete have. That sounds fair enough, and MA agrees to meet with him. They get their collaboration on, and of course now it’s glorious. Cokie is still out of the loop. The night before the presentation MA is nervous about meeting with the author and nervous that Logan is going to somehow cover for Cokie.
Another babysitting for the Korman family chapter. Good god, where’s my PBR?
The next chapter is Author Day. MA is super nervous. Right when the Principal is introducing their group, MA gets so nervous she reaches out and grabs Logan’s hand. They hold hands until they are called onto the stage. Pete goes first, and he’s awesome. MA goes next, and she’s clearly nervous, and her voice shakes, and she never looks up from her speech, but she gets through it. Logan does a little better than MA. Cokie goes next, and has copied word for word the summary from the back of the book, and thanks Megan Rinehart for being her most favorite author ever. Oh, Cokie, you dumbass. When you’re in middle school and unprepared for a presentation, you just fake being sick that day. Duh. And of course, because this is BSC world and you can’t be a rival to a BSC member without being a complete loser, during the author Q&A session Cokie further embarrasses herself by asking Megan Rinehart a question she had just answered several minutes ago. After the presentation is over, Logan asks MA if he can take her out for dinner the next night to thank her. MA accepts.
OK, we only get one outfit this book, but the ghostie sure makes it count. For her dinner with Logan, MA wears an oversized blue shirt and red tights. WTF? Would she even be allowed into a restaurant wearing that? I am going to assume the shirt is oversized enough to cover her ass, but that still seems a bit…underdressed. Whatever, this is the new MA, and the new MA is kind of skanky. Logan loves her outfit, BTW.
Logan tells MA he misses her, and Cokie meant nothing to him. He feels sorry he hurt her feelings, but he doesn’t care about her the way he cares about MA. MA finally realizes that maybe Cokie just had a crush on Logan and was super excited to be going out with him, and really wasn’t trying to hurt MA. Logan further shows his sensitive side when he says he hasn’t spoken to Cokie since the presentation, and if she’s mad at him she’ll just have to get over it. What a guy. Anyways, big surprise here, Logan and MA agree to reconcile, and Logan will give MA more space this time around.
You know, I just have to wonder, not that Logan is by any means a great catch, but I have to wonder what he sees in her. She’s annoying and spazzy and kind of immature. MA was never one of my favorites.