Logan Likes Mary Anne! Part The End!
Greetings, my dears! So, I should have had this snark up last night but it got too facking hot and I fell asleep in the middle of it. But today I got up bright and early and after Animal Crossing, I finished it up. I think this is my favorite book I've done so far. Not only is the plot not total ass but the BSC acts like normal human beings
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I'm this close to writing a self-insert fanfiction where my proxy is like 'What the Hell? This kid is a brat! Sit down and shut up!' and then spend the rest of the sitting job playing with David M, Andrew and Emily while Karen sits in the corner. On fire.--I want to see!
K Ron calls Dawn and asks her if she wants to stay the night--And maybe if they'd kept this up I'd have an easier time with the cult member hanging out with people outside their core partner(s) in the group.
Surely throwing her a surprise party is a good idea.--I still can't believe this stupid idea to begin with. Even the newbies of the cult can probably tell that Mary Anne's gonna freak the fuck out about being the center of attention--whether you call the party a 'surprise party', 'regular party' or a 'Winnie the Pooh party'
Mary Anne wonders if she's in love --I'm gonna give a pass. I like the fact she's wondering instead of being like Stacey. Stacey thinks she's in 'luv' with every guy that comes across her path.
I can't snark that.--I can't either. The cult really should've known better. Even if Stacey was all crazy about having a party for Mary Anne, you'd think Kristy and Claudia would especially throw in their 2 cents about Mary Anne freaking out at something like this.
She wonders how her friends could have done that to her--Can't blame her.
She thought they knew her better than that.--True. That's why I specifically named Kristy and Claudia in an above reply. They've known her the longest. And it probably wouldn't take much for Stacey and Dawn to take notice, even if they'd just met Mary Anne.
Ten minutes pass and no one calls so she thinks maybe they'll come over.--Mary Anne, you better lower those expectations.
He also asks if she'd go to the Fifties Fling--*rolls eyes* Of course it's the 50s.
Mary Anne opens her presents and she got some good stuff.--My mind's melting over here. It's actually random stuff instead of character trait stuff!
They eat the cake and I want to throw Dawn in an industrial mincer because she whines about wanting to brush her teeth.--*sighs* Nobody's making you eat cake, Dawn. Why can't you just sit there and let the others eating the cake enjoy it? I've never seen a character bitch and whine as much as Dawn does.
If you're gonna bitch about eating cake, don't eat it in the first place.--But I wouldn't be able to bitch if I did that!
That fucking cake was wasted on your bony ass.--Truly. That could've been an extra slice that Mary Anne could've snacked on later.
Because you know her insufferable ass was making faces and groaning about 'Ew!--Agreed. Probably was making enough faces to make people think she was chewing on GLASS instead of eating a piece of cake.
and says he knows a few other guys that might be interested in joining too which will never be mentioned again.--I like to think those guys realize it's a cult and they're better off staying FAR away from that shit.
Enjoyed the snark! :)
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I've had the idea of writing self-insert BSC fanfiction on the back burner for ages. I'm just so rusty at writing fiction. But then I think if it's not great, I can say it's based off Ann's writing style which isn't exactly Newbery winning. And the fact that it'd be parody cuts me some slack too. Someday I'll get around to it.
The fact that the BSC got Mary Anne suitable gifts just shows that it's an early book. In a later book they'd get her a cat costume, a shot of the boobie scene from 'Sixteen Candles' and a gift card to 'Sir Cries-a-Lot'.
Dawn makes me so damned angry with how she handles food. It's not even a situation where she's the only one not enjoying cake because Stacey doesn't have any. She seriously doing something she doesn't enjoy and then complaining about like she didn't have a choice in the matter. She's treating it like an unpleasant chore when it's just eating some Goddamn cake. And individual would have passed up the cake. But no, not our Dawn. She has to eat something she doesn't enjoy then point out how special she is for not enjoying it. She's got the biggest fucking martyr complex I've ever read in a book series.
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