Dawn's Book- Part 3
Hey, guys. Sorry if this part is sort of boring. It is not as snark-worthy as the last section. I figured out what pisses me off the most about that segment. It's the fact that Dawn applauds herself for being an individual, and then she meets Sunny, who is the epitome of an individual, and she goes on Judgey McJudgerson on her. It's so hypocritical and it shows Dawn really isn't an individual at all.
Anyway, the next segment always REALLY bored me when I was little and I apologize if you all are bored too. I did the first half of the following segment too in order to spice things up.
The Golden Anniversary
Chapter 6
This chapter is really boring and not snark-worthy so it's gonna be quick, sorry about that! We jump to four years later when Dawn is 10.
Once again Dawn starts to defend herself to us by saying she, Sunny, Jill, and Maggie were best friends but not "one of those obnoxious cliques." Again, this isn't really a time she needs to defend herself. I never saw the We Love Kids Club as an obnoxious clique. The obnoxious clique is the BSC who destroys your room and eats all your candy if you dare be friends with someone else. Anyway, maybe Dawn should be saying "don't think I was a total bitch for being an asshole to sunny for being an individual when I always claim that I am an individual."
The Winslows are apparently less hippie-ish and don't have the wacky car anymore. Oh so is that why it's okay to be friends with Sunny? I kind of hate how Ann makes it so that they change so much in the future. I like to think that they stayed the individuals they were and didn't care what anyone thought of them.
The Schafers and the Winslows are on the beach together and Sharon announces that Dawn's grandparents, Granny and Pop-Pop, are able to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and they want to do something special for them. They decide to plan a special vacation weekend for all of them to take together. Jack initially suggests that they go see them in Connecticut but Sharon doesn't want to because she is so disorganized, but then dawn and Jeff keep suggesting vacation locations and Sharon shoots down their ideas because the grandparents are old and may not enjoy them. That's why Jack had a good idea.
If they're that old, Sharon should just go see them and not make them travel. Especially because when they call the grandparents to say they're making plans for the anniversary, they're all excited at the idea of the family coming to Connecticut to see them. But, whatever. The stupid is strong.
They finally decide to go to San Francisco. Bet you anything Dawn is going to bitch and moan that it is too cold there (this part of the book takes place in February.)
Anyway, Dawn and Jeff start planning a list of things to do in San Fran. Sharon thinks her parents will be too old and frail to do a lot of the activities, which include hiking, the aquarium, and the zoo (the San Francisco zoo is freaking awesome by the way. Not as awesome as the San Diego zoo but still awesome.)
Anyway, they fly in to San Francisco and meet the grandparents at the airport. Everyone cries and the grandparents are totally willing and excited to be active despite Sharon's earlier warnings. Sorry, I know that was boring.
Chapter 7
They make a big point in this part of the book to talk about how happy and lovey-Dovey Sharon and Jack were. This actually makes sense because Dawn probably wants to remember a time when her parents were happy together. Can't snark it.
Why is this part of the book so boring?! I appreciate a break from all the rage from when Dawn met sunny, but give me something! They get to their hotel and go to Chinatown. Dawn points out that her parents are holding hands but her grandparents are separate from each other and are walking with dawn and Jeff. Why is that a big deal? They never see their grandkids. I don't think this is a sign of a troubled marriage at all, it's just two people who always see each other wanting to spend time with the loved ones that they never see.
The next day, Dawn goes down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast and her grandparents are arguing about what activity to do that day. We get a map of San Fran and of course dawn includes a vegetarian restaurant in it.
There continues to be tension with Granny and Pop-Pop and I wonder what that leads to because I am pretty sure it never mentions that they get divorced. Or maybe Dawn is just really judgmental and basically thinks that a couple has to be eating each other's faces every second in order to be a happy couple.
Anyway, they explore the city and go to different sites.
Pop-Pop doesn't want to eat at a vegetarian restaurant in favor of eating fish, and wants to be outside instead of going shopping, which leads to a fight between him and Granny. Honestly, they don't sound too different from the way my grandparents used to be with each other on a regular basis. I don't know if this is normal or if my grandparents just had a fucked up relationship, but Dawn isn't happy about it. Sharon seems oblivious to it. Either the weed is strong, or maybe this is how Granny and Pop-Pop always act and she's used to it. They're kind of reminding me of the grandparents on Everybody Loves Raymond actually. Who's seen it?!
They eat and shop and buy a pretty dress for Granny because they have a surprise dinner planned for that night. Granny said she can use the dress after fifty years of being married to Pop-Pop.
Sharon just laughs which indicates that Granny is joking and this really isn't a big deal but dawn immediately decides that they don't love each other. Way to jump to conclusions, girl. Like seriously they fight a little and now suddenly "they don't love each other." And she doesn't question if maybe they don't she flat out says that they don't.
Dawn compares her grandparents to her parents, who love PDA and always kiss goodbye. Not all couples are like that. Especially when they've been married for so long and the novelty has worn off, they may not be lovey-dovey all the time. I may not be the best judge of this because the main relationship I've witnessed, which is my parents', is not exactly a good influence. They are actually unhappily married and that is not me jumping to conclusions (my dad verbally abuses the whole family and my mom has actually said she is not happily married, and I don't think my dad is happy being married since all he can do is insult my mom), but still, I don't think constant affection is necessarily the sign of a happy and stable marriage.
Okay, sorry, personal anecdote over (this is how you know that the chapter is boring, if I break from snarking it to go on a tangent), but anyway, Dawn says she knows her parents will be happy when they celebrate their 50th, which I'll admit is sad since we know what's coming in a few years.
Chapter 8
They head back to the hotel to get dressed for the special dinner. They head to the restaurant to meet Pop-Pop. Granny starts to worry because he is always punctual. She worries that he got sick from the oysters he had eaten earlier and actually starts crying, which is really cute. And they are exactly like my grandparents because my grandma was always yelling at my grandpa but she was always concerned about his well-being.
Granny is specifically worried because she and pop-pop always split up on vacation and meet for dinner and he's always on time. I can't snark this because not only is it really cute, but it's also exactly like me. I catastrophize and if someone is late I worry and cry and do exactly what Granny is doing. It would have been so much easier if they had cellphones at this point but then we wouldn't have a story! Also since Dawn was only 10 at this point, and this was pre time warp, it would have been before cellphones were so popular.
Just as they're considering calling the police, Pop-Pop shows up and he and Granny share a cute moment. Turns out Jeff told Pop-Pop the wrong time for dinner.
They head up to their special dinner and Dawn notices her grandparents are holding hands. I like that because it is cute but rather than Dawn getting exactly what she wants I would rather someone explain to her that just because you're not licking each other's faces every second does not mean you don't love each other.
The special dinner is in a private and well-decorated room with personalized menus. It's in a revolving dining room so they can see the city as they eat. I have to say this seems like a pretty cool dinner. I am sorry that there isn't much to snark here.
Granny and Pop-Pop continue to tease each other and dawn finally realizes that they are teasing out of love. Dawn also orders chicken at dinner, and I am confused, is she a vegetarian or does she just not eat red meat? Also, earlier in this section she ate cookies. Maybe this was before she was a crazy preaching "omg ew junk food" nut job?
They exchange gifts and Pop-Pop leaves a ring in granny's drink glass to mimic the way he proposed to her 50 years before, which is adorable.
Dawn wants to have a happy marriage just like her grandparents' one day. Well, Dawn, first you're going to have to learn to be a decent human being, stop being so judgmental, not make comments about what people eat, and not insist that your boyfriend fuck you in public lest people think you're not a happy couple. She says she's lucky to have parents who love one another. This is actually sad, as I have said before, knowing that they get divorced later. I wonder if they are really this happy and the problems really do arise two years later or if there are already starting to be problems and maybe they are doing so much PDA and acting like they're in the honeymoon stage to try to convince themselves and those around them that they're happy.
I am starting the next segment since that one was boring.
Fire!
Chapter 9
It is now two years later and Dawn's parents have started to have tension in their marriage. Dawn wants to spend time away from home and has started to enjoy babysitting, specifIcally for Clover and Daffodil Austin. I am shocked that Dawn didn't judge them and refuse to babysit them because of their unusual names. Based on the way she treated Sunny, we know how Ms. individual feels about people who are little different.
Dawn starts to worry that her house is going to burn down and says she was always afraid of fire. I am surprised that this didn't come up earlier.
Anyway, one day the Winslows come over for a barbecue and again, dawn is eating chicken. Do they ever say if she is a vegetarian? I am so confused by Dawn's diet because she always says she won't eat sugar but then she eats stuff with tons of sugar. She won't eat meat but then she eats chicken. Unless she just said she won't eat red meat. I never remember.
Anyway, Jack is barbecuing and a hot coal comes out of the grill and sets the newspapers on fire. Dawn acts like a hellion, running around, screaming "fire!" (Okay, I shouldn't make fun of this, I would probably do the same thing, lol.) everyone runs out with liquids, including iced tea. Correct me if I am wrong, but is that the best way to extinguish a fire? I actually googled it and it looks like you can use water under certain circumstances but I don't know much about it.
Anyway, the fire is easily put out, but the incident starts an argument between Jack and Sharon.
Dawn is now really worried about fires and makes a list of ways to prevent fires in her house. Her ideas are actually good ones (conduct fire drills, plan and post evacuation routes, practice opening and climbing out bedroom windows with eyes closed, etc.) but I can imagine dawn being so preachy about doing the tasks that it just becomes annoying.
Dawn waits until her family is asleep and screams "Fire! Fire in the kitchen!" And sets an alarm clock to go off. She's trying to have a fire drill, but this is just obnoxious. She doesn't tell her family she's having a fire drill, SHE ACTUALLY MAKES THEM THINK THERE'S A FIRE. God, dawn is a PSYCHOPATH. Also, does she really have to wake them in the middle of the night? Can't they all just plan a fire drill in the middle of the day, and plan it all together so no one is freaked out? I know actual fires can happen in the middle of the night, but if they already have a plan, they'll know what to do. I don't think it's necessary to actually wake them up for a fire drill.
Her parents are rightfully annoyed and Jack tells her she is getting carried away, which he is right about. Guys, imagine living with Dawn. I am sure it's a freaking nightmare.
The doorbell rings and dawn thinks it's her neighbors who woke up from the commotion. Does she think she will apologize for waking them up? Hah, why would she? She plans to be her usual preachy self and tell them all about her fire prevention plans. Again, not a bad idea to have a fire prevention plan, but dawn goes about it all wrong. You have to think of others. You can't just preach to people in the middle of the night.
Luckily, it's not the neighbors and no one else has to be a victim of dawns ridiculousness. It's Jeff. When Dawn scared the shit out of him, he escaped out his bedroom window like she had put in her fire prevention plans. It is actually cute.
The next day, dawn is looking at directions for using a fire extinguisher before she goes to babysit for the Austins. Her family is relieved that her leaving means they won't have fire prevention lessons that day, which is hilarious.
Chapter 10
Dawn heads over to her babysitting job with clover and daffodil. Before the parents leave, dawn notices how loving they are towards one another. Is this a normal thing for kids to be paying attention to? It makes sense in dawns case since she knows her parents are having issues, but she was paying attention to this before too, when she was analyzing her grandparents' relationship.
Dawn and the kids play school and it's a typical boring babysitting chapter until they smell smoke. They are unsure where the smoke is coming from but they leave the house and head to the schafers where dawn calls the fire department. I can't snark any of it because dawn actually handles the situation well.
Next time I'll be wrapping this up and then I definitely need a break from Dawn!
Anyway, the next segment always REALLY bored me when I was little and I apologize if you all are bored too. I did the first half of the following segment too in order to spice things up.
The Golden Anniversary
Chapter 6
This chapter is really boring and not snark-worthy so it's gonna be quick, sorry about that! We jump to four years later when Dawn is 10.
Once again Dawn starts to defend herself to us by saying she, Sunny, Jill, and Maggie were best friends but not "one of those obnoxious cliques." Again, this isn't really a time she needs to defend herself. I never saw the We Love Kids Club as an obnoxious clique. The obnoxious clique is the BSC who destroys your room and eats all your candy if you dare be friends with someone else. Anyway, maybe Dawn should be saying "don't think I was a total bitch for being an asshole to sunny for being an individual when I always claim that I am an individual."
The Winslows are apparently less hippie-ish and don't have the wacky car anymore. Oh so is that why it's okay to be friends with Sunny? I kind of hate how Ann makes it so that they change so much in the future. I like to think that they stayed the individuals they were and didn't care what anyone thought of them.
The Schafers and the Winslows are on the beach together and Sharon announces that Dawn's grandparents, Granny and Pop-Pop, are able to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and they want to do something special for them. They decide to plan a special vacation weekend for all of them to take together. Jack initially suggests that they go see them in Connecticut but Sharon doesn't want to because she is so disorganized, but then dawn and Jeff keep suggesting vacation locations and Sharon shoots down their ideas because the grandparents are old and may not enjoy them. That's why Jack had a good idea.
If they're that old, Sharon should just go see them and not make them travel. Especially because when they call the grandparents to say they're making plans for the anniversary, they're all excited at the idea of the family coming to Connecticut to see them. But, whatever. The stupid is strong.
They finally decide to go to San Francisco. Bet you anything Dawn is going to bitch and moan that it is too cold there (this part of the book takes place in February.)
Anyway, Dawn and Jeff start planning a list of things to do in San Fran. Sharon thinks her parents will be too old and frail to do a lot of the activities, which include hiking, the aquarium, and the zoo (the San Francisco zoo is freaking awesome by the way. Not as awesome as the San Diego zoo but still awesome.)
Anyway, they fly in to San Francisco and meet the grandparents at the airport. Everyone cries and the grandparents are totally willing and excited to be active despite Sharon's earlier warnings. Sorry, I know that was boring.
Chapter 7
They make a big point in this part of the book to talk about how happy and lovey-Dovey Sharon and Jack were. This actually makes sense because Dawn probably wants to remember a time when her parents were happy together. Can't snark it.
Why is this part of the book so boring?! I appreciate a break from all the rage from when Dawn met sunny, but give me something! They get to their hotel and go to Chinatown. Dawn points out that her parents are holding hands but her grandparents are separate from each other and are walking with dawn and Jeff. Why is that a big deal? They never see their grandkids. I don't think this is a sign of a troubled marriage at all, it's just two people who always see each other wanting to spend time with the loved ones that they never see.
The next day, Dawn goes down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast and her grandparents are arguing about what activity to do that day. We get a map of San Fran and of course dawn includes a vegetarian restaurant in it.
There continues to be tension with Granny and Pop-Pop and I wonder what that leads to because I am pretty sure it never mentions that they get divorced. Or maybe Dawn is just really judgmental and basically thinks that a couple has to be eating each other's faces every second in order to be a happy couple.
Anyway, they explore the city and go to different sites.
Pop-Pop doesn't want to eat at a vegetarian restaurant in favor of eating fish, and wants to be outside instead of going shopping, which leads to a fight between him and Granny. Honestly, they don't sound too different from the way my grandparents used to be with each other on a regular basis. I don't know if this is normal or if my grandparents just had a fucked up relationship, but Dawn isn't happy about it. Sharon seems oblivious to it. Either the weed is strong, or maybe this is how Granny and Pop-Pop always act and she's used to it. They're kind of reminding me of the grandparents on Everybody Loves Raymond actually. Who's seen it?!
They eat and shop and buy a pretty dress for Granny because they have a surprise dinner planned for that night. Granny said she can use the dress after fifty years of being married to Pop-Pop.
Sharon just laughs which indicates that Granny is joking and this really isn't a big deal but dawn immediately decides that they don't love each other. Way to jump to conclusions, girl. Like seriously they fight a little and now suddenly "they don't love each other." And she doesn't question if maybe they don't she flat out says that they don't.
Dawn compares her grandparents to her parents, who love PDA and always kiss goodbye. Not all couples are like that. Especially when they've been married for so long and the novelty has worn off, they may not be lovey-dovey all the time. I may not be the best judge of this because the main relationship I've witnessed, which is my parents', is not exactly a good influence. They are actually unhappily married and that is not me jumping to conclusions (my dad verbally abuses the whole family and my mom has actually said she is not happily married, and I don't think my dad is happy being married since all he can do is insult my mom), but still, I don't think constant affection is necessarily the sign of a happy and stable marriage.
Okay, sorry, personal anecdote over (this is how you know that the chapter is boring, if I break from snarking it to go on a tangent), but anyway, Dawn says she knows her parents will be happy when they celebrate their 50th, which I'll admit is sad since we know what's coming in a few years.
Chapter 8
They head back to the hotel to get dressed for the special dinner. They head to the restaurant to meet Pop-Pop. Granny starts to worry because he is always punctual. She worries that he got sick from the oysters he had eaten earlier and actually starts crying, which is really cute. And they are exactly like my grandparents because my grandma was always yelling at my grandpa but she was always concerned about his well-being.
Granny is specifically worried because she and pop-pop always split up on vacation and meet for dinner and he's always on time. I can't snark this because not only is it really cute, but it's also exactly like me. I catastrophize and if someone is late I worry and cry and do exactly what Granny is doing. It would have been so much easier if they had cellphones at this point but then we wouldn't have a story! Also since Dawn was only 10 at this point, and this was pre time warp, it would have been before cellphones were so popular.
Just as they're considering calling the police, Pop-Pop shows up and he and Granny share a cute moment. Turns out Jeff told Pop-Pop the wrong time for dinner.
They head up to their special dinner and Dawn notices her grandparents are holding hands. I like that because it is cute but rather than Dawn getting exactly what she wants I would rather someone explain to her that just because you're not licking each other's faces every second does not mean you don't love each other.
The special dinner is in a private and well-decorated room with personalized menus. It's in a revolving dining room so they can see the city as they eat. I have to say this seems like a pretty cool dinner. I am sorry that there isn't much to snark here.
Granny and Pop-Pop continue to tease each other and dawn finally realizes that they are teasing out of love. Dawn also orders chicken at dinner, and I am confused, is she a vegetarian or does she just not eat red meat? Also, earlier in this section she ate cookies. Maybe this was before she was a crazy preaching "omg ew junk food" nut job?
They exchange gifts and Pop-Pop leaves a ring in granny's drink glass to mimic the way he proposed to her 50 years before, which is adorable.
Dawn wants to have a happy marriage just like her grandparents' one day. Well, Dawn, first you're going to have to learn to be a decent human being, stop being so judgmental, not make comments about what people eat, and not insist that your boyfriend fuck you in public lest people think you're not a happy couple. She says she's lucky to have parents who love one another. This is actually sad, as I have said before, knowing that they get divorced later. I wonder if they are really this happy and the problems really do arise two years later or if there are already starting to be problems and maybe they are doing so much PDA and acting like they're in the honeymoon stage to try to convince themselves and those around them that they're happy.
I am starting the next segment since that one was boring.
Fire!
Chapter 9
It is now two years later and Dawn's parents have started to have tension in their marriage. Dawn wants to spend time away from home and has started to enjoy babysitting, specifIcally for Clover and Daffodil Austin. I am shocked that Dawn didn't judge them and refuse to babysit them because of their unusual names. Based on the way she treated Sunny, we know how Ms. individual feels about people who are little different.
Dawn starts to worry that her house is going to burn down and says she was always afraid of fire. I am surprised that this didn't come up earlier.
Anyway, one day the Winslows come over for a barbecue and again, dawn is eating chicken. Do they ever say if she is a vegetarian? I am so confused by Dawn's diet because she always says she won't eat sugar but then she eats stuff with tons of sugar. She won't eat meat but then she eats chicken. Unless she just said she won't eat red meat. I never remember.
Anyway, Jack is barbecuing and a hot coal comes out of the grill and sets the newspapers on fire. Dawn acts like a hellion, running around, screaming "fire!" (Okay, I shouldn't make fun of this, I would probably do the same thing, lol.) everyone runs out with liquids, including iced tea. Correct me if I am wrong, but is that the best way to extinguish a fire? I actually googled it and it looks like you can use water under certain circumstances but I don't know much about it.
Anyway, the fire is easily put out, but the incident starts an argument between Jack and Sharon.
Dawn is now really worried about fires and makes a list of ways to prevent fires in her house. Her ideas are actually good ones (conduct fire drills, plan and post evacuation routes, practice opening and climbing out bedroom windows with eyes closed, etc.) but I can imagine dawn being so preachy about doing the tasks that it just becomes annoying.
Dawn waits until her family is asleep and screams "Fire! Fire in the kitchen!" And sets an alarm clock to go off. She's trying to have a fire drill, but this is just obnoxious. She doesn't tell her family she's having a fire drill, SHE ACTUALLY MAKES THEM THINK THERE'S A FIRE. God, dawn is a PSYCHOPATH. Also, does she really have to wake them in the middle of the night? Can't they all just plan a fire drill in the middle of the day, and plan it all together so no one is freaked out? I know actual fires can happen in the middle of the night, but if they already have a plan, they'll know what to do. I don't think it's necessary to actually wake them up for a fire drill.
Her parents are rightfully annoyed and Jack tells her she is getting carried away, which he is right about. Guys, imagine living with Dawn. I am sure it's a freaking nightmare.
The doorbell rings and dawn thinks it's her neighbors who woke up from the commotion. Does she think she will apologize for waking them up? Hah, why would she? She plans to be her usual preachy self and tell them all about her fire prevention plans. Again, not a bad idea to have a fire prevention plan, but dawn goes about it all wrong. You have to think of others. You can't just preach to people in the middle of the night.
Luckily, it's not the neighbors and no one else has to be a victim of dawns ridiculousness. It's Jeff. When Dawn scared the shit out of him, he escaped out his bedroom window like she had put in her fire prevention plans. It is actually cute.
The next day, dawn is looking at directions for using a fire extinguisher before she goes to babysit for the Austins. Her family is relieved that her leaving means they won't have fire prevention lessons that day, which is hilarious.
Chapter 10
Dawn heads over to her babysitting job with clover and daffodil. Before the parents leave, dawn notices how loving they are towards one another. Is this a normal thing for kids to be paying attention to? It makes sense in dawns case since she knows her parents are having issues, but she was paying attention to this before too, when she was analyzing her grandparents' relationship.
Dawn and the kids play school and it's a typical boring babysitting chapter until they smell smoke. They are unsure where the smoke is coming from but they leave the house and head to the schafers where dawn calls the fire department. I can't snark any of it because dawn actually handles the situation well.
Next time I'll be wrapping this up and then I definitely need a break from Dawn!