Karen's Pen Pal part 3
Hi, all! I want to wish you all a happy new year and thank you for the continued support and comments on my posts. It means a lot. I'm still relatively new at snarking, so I appreciate the feedback.
Here is more of this loveliness. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 11- pen pal day or shit gets real
Ms Coleman makes a not so great surprising announcement: the pen pals are coming to visit them in Stoneybrook! Well, it's not so great for Karen because she let her inflated ego ruin this entire experience. Everyone else is stoked. There's actually a lovely illustration of some of Karen's classmates laughing happily while Karen sits there and frowns. Also, Hannie and Nancy's desks are directly behind Karen's and Ricky's with no desks in between-- lovely continuity there, considering it is drilled in our heads in every book that Karen and Ricky are in the first row, while Hannie and Nancy are in the last.
Anyways, now maxie is going to figure out that Hootie isn't a monkey and Karen doesn't have eight best friends or a published book or a castle. Karma is beautiful.
The blows continue as ms. Colman says their sports celebration day will be on the same day as pen pal day. Karen also lied about how fast she can run the 50-yard dash. Is she worried about being caught in her lie? Of course not. She's upset because maxie is probably amazing at sports and Karen just cannot do worse than Maxie because everything is a competition.
Karma is sweet.
Chapter 12- meanie Maxie
Afraid to lie again, karen writes Maxie a short, uneventful letter. Because if there is nothing to brag about, there is nothing to say. Seems legit. You could use this time to ask about NYC, but I guess it just isn't fun to write if you're not bragging.
So instead of doing that, they each try to cover up their lies. Karen says they have to sell the castle, Maxie says her dad is giving up being a rockstar, etc. They each still believe the ridiculous lies. Karen sends Maxie a truthful letter, but still one where she gets to brag about what she has, about her pets. Maxie responds with a letter about her pets. I think hers is a lying letter, but at this point I think she knows Karen likes competition and is just trying to get a rise out of her.
Then we get this lovely paragraph. Karen decides Maxie is mean because she is a bragger. Okay, Karen: she just did exactly what you did. You wrote to her about your pets, and so she wrote about hers. hypocritical, much? Then we get this gem:
"Every time I said something, meanie Maxie said something better. Then I had to say something better. Maxie had made me a bragger, too."
Where to start with this? No,
Karen, you don't HAVE to say something better. I know I have said this a hundred times throughout this snark, but NOT EVERYTHING IS A CONTEST. Why can't Maxie just have good things? She's not asking you to one-up her. In that first letter she wrote, the truthful one, SHE WAS JUST TELLING YOU ABOUT HER LIFE. That's all. She wasn't trying to brag or compete with you. But you have to make everything into a competition in which you are the winner, so you made it into a competition and got mad at Maxie for no reason. And, no, Karen, Maxie did not make you into a bragger. This is book #25 of the little sister series and you've been a bragger since early in the original BSC series. How about the spelling bees where all Karen did was show off about her winnings? Or the thanksgiving plays where she wrote herself a huge role so she could be the star and felt no remorse when it upset people? Or when she tried to one-up Ricky with the quality and quantity of her broken wrist cast signatures? Research told me all these moments happened BEFORE this book. So, no, Karen. You have always been a bragger. Maxie did not cause this. If anything, Karen made Maxie into one.
God, that paragraph was incredibly infuriating.
Angry at Maxie for no reason and out of things to write about since she has nothing left to brag about, Karen writes a very formal and quick letter to Maxie.
Chapter 13- the winner! (To hold true to the book's competition theme.)
Of course the winner is Karen. She and her minions are practicing for the fifty yard dash, and because Karen can never learn a lesson, she does it in the same amount of time as Maxie said she could do it. And, she is the fastest musketeer, because of course she is.
Hannie and Nancy start talking about their pen pals and what they have learned about NYC and how excited they are to see them. Karen wishes she could be excited, too. She has no one to blame but herself This is what happens when you are a good friend to your pen pal and don't spend all your time trying to compete with them, Karen.
Chapter 14- "here they come!"
Pen pal day has arrived and Karen wants to dress the way Maxie does, but can't find anything. So she decides to get all dressed up even though it is sports day. Smart move.
Nothing else of note happens, really. Some of the boys make fun of Karen for dressing up, they do some work, and then the pen pals arrive.
Chapter 15- Hootie and Tootie
In walk the pen pals. I am so looking forward to karma biting Karen in the ass.
Karen observes that "they looked like any other second-graders, even if they were from New York City." I am so sick of Ann thinking that being from NYC makes someone some kind of God(ess). They're regular people.
Karen and Maxie recognize each other but don't smile.
They sit quietly and awkwardly while everyone else is happy and talking. Karma. The silence is broken by, what else, bragging. Maxie brought her eraser collection and tells Karen she got a new shell, so Karen lies and says she got one too. Then Karen offers to show Maxie around the room, and Maxie wants to see the monkey. I really do think Maxie knew Karen lied and wants to catch her in it at this point. A class monkey would probably be showed off to all the classmates by now if it existed. Karen must continue lying so when she brings Maxie to Hootie's cage and Maxie observes that he is a guinea pig and not a monkey, Karen says Hootie is away and this is their visiting guinea pig named Tootie. That is ridiculous on so many levels. Where would be Hootie be away at? And where would the guinea pig be visiting from? Maxie probably knows Karen is lying, because she and I give her a ridiculous look. Karen introduces her to Hannie and Nancy and points out the rest of her classmates (her "best friends.") also, I had an old copy of one of those "kids in ms. Colman's class" books (remember that series?) anyway, there is a class photo, and, excluding Pamela (I am guessing this is before she joined the class since she came as a new student in Karen's Sleepover), there are actually ten girls in the class: Karen, Hannie, Nancy, Jannie, Leslie, Sara, Audrey, Terri, Tammy, and our beloved Natalie. So if you exclude Karen and add Pamela in, if she says she is best friends with each of the girls in her class, she should have said she had ten best friends, not eight. Continuity! Learn you some! I have no life, okay. Moving on.
Karen ends the chapter on a lovely note. "Maxie was going to find out that I was a bragger and a liar." Is this real? Is Karen actually admitting she is a bragger again? This is a miracle.
Here is more of this loveliness. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 11- pen pal day or shit gets real
Ms Coleman makes a not so great surprising announcement: the pen pals are coming to visit them in Stoneybrook! Well, it's not so great for Karen because she let her inflated ego ruin this entire experience. Everyone else is stoked. There's actually a lovely illustration of some of Karen's classmates laughing happily while Karen sits there and frowns. Also, Hannie and Nancy's desks are directly behind Karen's and Ricky's with no desks in between-- lovely continuity there, considering it is drilled in our heads in every book that Karen and Ricky are in the first row, while Hannie and Nancy are in the last.
Anyways, now maxie is going to figure out that Hootie isn't a monkey and Karen doesn't have eight best friends or a published book or a castle. Karma is beautiful.
The blows continue as ms. Colman says their sports celebration day will be on the same day as pen pal day. Karen also lied about how fast she can run the 50-yard dash. Is she worried about being caught in her lie? Of course not. She's upset because maxie is probably amazing at sports and Karen just cannot do worse than Maxie because everything is a competition.
Karma is sweet.
Chapter 12- meanie Maxie
Afraid to lie again, karen writes Maxie a short, uneventful letter. Because if there is nothing to brag about, there is nothing to say. Seems legit. You could use this time to ask about NYC, but I guess it just isn't fun to write if you're not bragging.
So instead of doing that, they each try to cover up their lies. Karen says they have to sell the castle, Maxie says her dad is giving up being a rockstar, etc. They each still believe the ridiculous lies. Karen sends Maxie a truthful letter, but still one where she gets to brag about what she has, about her pets. Maxie responds with a letter about her pets. I think hers is a lying letter, but at this point I think she knows Karen likes competition and is just trying to get a rise out of her.
Then we get this lovely paragraph. Karen decides Maxie is mean because she is a bragger. Okay, Karen: she just did exactly what you did. You wrote to her about your pets, and so she wrote about hers. hypocritical, much? Then we get this gem:
"Every time I said something, meanie Maxie said something better. Then I had to say something better. Maxie had made me a bragger, too."
Where to start with this? No,
Karen, you don't HAVE to say something better. I know I have said this a hundred times throughout this snark, but NOT EVERYTHING IS A CONTEST. Why can't Maxie just have good things? She's not asking you to one-up her. In that first letter she wrote, the truthful one, SHE WAS JUST TELLING YOU ABOUT HER LIFE. That's all. She wasn't trying to brag or compete with you. But you have to make everything into a competition in which you are the winner, so you made it into a competition and got mad at Maxie for no reason. And, no, Karen, Maxie did not make you into a bragger. This is book #25 of the little sister series and you've been a bragger since early in the original BSC series. How about the spelling bees where all Karen did was show off about her winnings? Or the thanksgiving plays where she wrote herself a huge role so she could be the star and felt no remorse when it upset people? Or when she tried to one-up Ricky with the quality and quantity of her broken wrist cast signatures? Research told me all these moments happened BEFORE this book. So, no, Karen. You have always been a bragger. Maxie did not cause this. If anything, Karen made Maxie into one.
God, that paragraph was incredibly infuriating.
Angry at Maxie for no reason and out of things to write about since she has nothing left to brag about, Karen writes a very formal and quick letter to Maxie.
Chapter 13- the winner! (To hold true to the book's competition theme.)
Of course the winner is Karen. She and her minions are practicing for the fifty yard dash, and because Karen can never learn a lesson, she does it in the same amount of time as Maxie said she could do it. And, she is the fastest musketeer, because of course she is.
Hannie and Nancy start talking about their pen pals and what they have learned about NYC and how excited they are to see them. Karen wishes she could be excited, too. She has no one to blame but herself This is what happens when you are a good friend to your pen pal and don't spend all your time trying to compete with them, Karen.
Chapter 14- "here they come!"
Pen pal day has arrived and Karen wants to dress the way Maxie does, but can't find anything. So she decides to get all dressed up even though it is sports day. Smart move.
Nothing else of note happens, really. Some of the boys make fun of Karen for dressing up, they do some work, and then the pen pals arrive.
Chapter 15- Hootie and Tootie
In walk the pen pals. I am so looking forward to karma biting Karen in the ass.
Karen observes that "they looked like any other second-graders, even if they were from New York City." I am so sick of Ann thinking that being from NYC makes someone some kind of God(ess). They're regular people.
Karen and Maxie recognize each other but don't smile.
They sit quietly and awkwardly while everyone else is happy and talking. Karma. The silence is broken by, what else, bragging. Maxie brought her eraser collection and tells Karen she got a new shell, so Karen lies and says she got one too. Then Karen offers to show Maxie around the room, and Maxie wants to see the monkey. I really do think Maxie knew Karen lied and wants to catch her in it at this point. A class monkey would probably be showed off to all the classmates by now if it existed. Karen must continue lying so when she brings Maxie to Hootie's cage and Maxie observes that he is a guinea pig and not a monkey, Karen says Hootie is away and this is their visiting guinea pig named Tootie. That is ridiculous on so many levels. Where would be Hootie be away at? And where would the guinea pig be visiting from? Maxie probably knows Karen is lying, because she and I give her a ridiculous look. Karen introduces her to Hannie and Nancy and points out the rest of her classmates (her "best friends.") also, I had an old copy of one of those "kids in ms. Colman's class" books (remember that series?) anyway, there is a class photo, and, excluding Pamela (I am guessing this is before she joined the class since she came as a new student in Karen's Sleepover), there are actually ten girls in the class: Karen, Hannie, Nancy, Jannie, Leslie, Sara, Audrey, Terri, Tammy, and our beloved Natalie. So if you exclude Karen and add Pamela in, if she says she is best friends with each of the girls in her class, she should have said she had ten best friends, not eight. Continuity! Learn you some! I have no life, okay. Moving on.
Karen ends the chapter on a lovely note. "Maxie was going to find out that I was a bragger and a liar." Is this real? Is Karen actually admitting she is a bragger again? This is a miracle.