BSC #10: LOGAN LIKES MARY ANNE! OR THE EIGHTIES VERSION OF WILL AND GRACE! PART 2!
BSC #10: LOGAN LIKES MARY ANNE! OR THE EIGHTIES VERSION OF WILL AND GRACE! PART 2!
Hello peeps, is everyone ready for an early spring? I really hope its true; I’m not looking forward to more winter snows! Once again, I have to give a huge THANKS to everyone who reads and comments on my snarks, it really means a lot to me!
So….
Chapter 4:
We open with Claudia FUCKING RUNS PAST MA AT HIGH SPEED, SCREAMING ABOUT HAVING AN EMERGENCY CULT MEETING AT LUNCH AND TO TELL K-RON ABOUT IT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, WAS K-RON IMPEACHED OR SOMETHING?! IS CLAUDIA THE NEW HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE?
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!
Sadly, it’s not to be!
Then at lunch, after K-Ron and MA get their food substitutes: chocolate Popsicles instead of the mac-and-cheese, broccoli and fruit salad. In fact, MA has to stop K-Ron from buying TWO Popsicles because…DAWN WOULDN’T LIKE IT?
SERIOUSLY, WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT THAT TWAT THINKS?! I DID THE SAME THING IN HIGH SCHOOL IF THE LUNCH WAS BAD; I GOT SODA AND CANDY INSTEAD! IT’S MY HEALTH/TEETH/BODY, NOT THIS BLONDE NIMROD’S! I DON’T CARE IF THE SIGHT OF MY BINGING ON JUNK HURTS HER PRECIOUS EYES!
Anyway, they get to the point of the meeting; the fact that K-Ron’s flyer plan worked and now everyone’s calling for a sitter! And apparently, these people have no fucking clue how to read a goddamn flyer carefully because they’re calling at all hours. Some asshole even called Claudia at SEVEN-THIRTY IN THE FUCKING MORNING AS SHE WAS GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL! WHO THE FUCK NEEDS TO CALL AT THAT TIME?! I KNOW WE ALL SNARK PEOPLE HAVING TO WAIT UNTIL MEETING DAYS TO CALL, BUT CALLING AT ALL-HOURS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I BET IT WAS THAT BITCH MRS. NEWTON OR EVEN MAMA PIKE! LORD KNOWS THOSE TWO TWATS CAN’T EVEN BEAR TO GO POTTY WITHOUT CALLING A SITTER! FUCKING HELL!
AND IT’S ALL NEW CLIENTS, WHO WE PROBABLY WILL NEVER HEAR OF AGAIN! UNLESS A BOOK CALLS FOR IT, THEN THEY’LL SAY THE GIRLS HAVE BEEN SITTING FOR THEM ALL ALONG!
So now Claudia’s freaking the fuck out and has no idea what to do. Um…YOU’RE ALREADY DOING IT! YOU CALLED THE MEETING, ASSIGN THE FUCKING JOBS! AND GET THIS SHIT YOU GUYS, EVEN THOUGH SCHOOL’S ONLY BEEN IN SESSION A WEEK OR TWO AT MOST…BITCH IS ALREADY BEHIND IN CLASS!
I GUESS!
Whatever, so bitch is tweaking out all the crap she gotta do between school, art and the Cult and the girls calm her down and then arrange all the jobs. We get a mention of the Phantom Phone Caller book and how Alan was using it to get info out to torture K-Ron and Claudia; and I barely remember that book, it’s been so long since I read it. The girls get the job crap out of the way, with the two stylish ones having to miss/skip/re-arrange their schedules and REALLY? WHY NOT JUST TELL THE PARENTS THEY CAN’T TAKE THE FUCKING JOBS? K-RON’S PIMP HAND MUST BE FUCKING FIERCE, YOU GUYS!
After that shit is done, MA basically says that she thinks K-Ron was A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT for doing even more flyers/ads when the Cult was already busy as shit; which makes K-Ron get all bitchy that she needed to mind control the kids in her own goddamn neighborhood, thank you very much! Or something like that, I may have paraphrased a bit. The upshot is, everyone thinks (too late), that it was a dumb idea to give out flyers at the PTA meeting and now they’re up shit’s creek without a fucking paddle. WHATEVER SHALL THEY DO….
CUE THE MUSIC!
LOOK EVERYONE! IT’S LOGAN!
WHO IS SO GROWING UP TO BE THIS GUY:
CALLING IT NOW!
Logan rolls up and claims that he’s babysit a fuckton and now MA’s like this:
But in her own head of course. Now the sitters are all on his ass to come sit with them, which makes all the guys he was sitting with act like the girls invited him to be the new Cult gimp or something!
When we all know Pete’s already their bitch!
They all introduce themselves, with MA getting jealous that Logan and Stacey know each other already. Can’t say I blame her there at all; Stacey’s a slut. K-Ron tells him how the Cult works, leaving out the parts about the laced Kool-Aid and floggers; and asks him about is experience, leading us to find out about his siblings.
The chapter ends with K-Ron inviting him to the next Cult meeting and Logan going back to his table, being praised for chilling with girls. And MA about creams her panties with the thought of Logan coming to the meeting.
Chapter 5:
Meeting time comes and MA basically runs all the way from her sitting job to make herself pretty for Logan before she heads over. She brushes her hair, puts on a new shirt and vest, and some jewelry; a bracelet and some earrings… WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!
SINCE WHEN HAS MA HAD FUCKING PIERCED EARS?! SHE NEVER DID IN THESE BOOKS! FOR FUCK’S SAKE PEOPLE, PUT DOWN THE PIPE AND DO YOUR GODDAMN JOBS!
All pretty-ed up, she runs to Claudia’s, where everyone is already and they just talking about Logan and his cuteness. Claudia notices MA’s all gussied up and Stacey’s all ‘It’s for Logan, right?’ and I’m imagining MA like this right now:
But before we can get into that shit, Logan shows up and MA does a quick check around the room, making sure none of Claudia’s nasty drawers are on display, shoves the poor rag doll that always to be abused in these books under the bed and clears a spot next to her for Logan to sit. Probably has the ‘BITCH, DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO TAKE HIM; HE’S MINE’ eyes on too! Logan comes up and sits next to her and one by one the sitters all tell him about the Cult. But Logan only has eyes for our MA; and the poor thing can barely put two words together. Been there.
A call comes in and MA drops the book a few times before she can actually take the job and I feel bad for her, although it did happen to Baby in Dirty Dancing and she got Patrick Swayze; so this may end well. More jobs come in and then Claudia starts to tell a story involving their gimp Pete snapping a *whispers* bra strap!
SHE ALMOST SAID BRA STRAP IN FRONT OF A BOY! Oh, if only you guys knew Logan wasn’t until that.
This leads to Logan starting to tell a story about some kid he say for and the potty; but then realizes that the story can’t be finished in front of girls. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHY CAN’T HE SAY, IS IT WORSE THAN THE KID SHITTING ON THE FLOOR OR SOMETHING?
Logan and Claudia leave to get some drinks and the others talk about how embarrassed they are to have a boy there. I get that that would be weird. But considering its Logan and we all know he grows up to be Jack from Will and Grace, I don’t think he would mind so much. Anyway, the two come back and the call comes in to sit for Jackie, making his first appearance. It’s decided that Logan will take the job and that MA will go with him to make sure it goes okay.
The chapter ends with MA clutching her damn pearls, nervous about the sitting job!
Chapter 6:
At the job, Jackie acts like a normal little boy; meaning this will give those Cult bitches cause to fuck with him by calling him a Walking Disaster. FUCKING HELL, WHAT IS THEIR BEEF WITH THIS KID? JACKIE’S FUCKING AWESOME, I RATHER SIT FOR HIM THAN KAREN’S ANNOYING ASS!
Logan does pretty well, helping Jackie fix the shower curtain rod when the kid breaks it, roughhousing with the kid and even buttering his hand out of a jar holding a grasshopper; which is the cover of the book. Nothing’s mentioned about exactly WHY Jackie was eye-fucking the shit out of Logan, but whatever. Maybe Logan had candy in his pocket or something, I dunno.
At the end of the job, Jackie ends up knocking MA into Logan’s arms so we get that meet-cute BULLSHIT and the chapter ends with Logan telling her she has a nice smile.
That’s all for now guys, more will be up soon! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon!
Hello peeps, is everyone ready for an early spring? I really hope its true; I’m not looking forward to more winter snows! Once again, I have to give a huge THANKS to everyone who reads and comments on my snarks, it really means a lot to me!
So….
Chapter 4:
We open with Claudia FUCKING RUNS PAST MA AT HIGH SPEED, SCREAMING ABOUT HAVING AN EMERGENCY CULT MEETING AT LUNCH AND TO TELL K-RON ABOUT IT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, WAS K-RON IMPEACHED OR SOMETHING?! IS CLAUDIA THE NEW HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE?
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!
Sadly, it’s not to be!
Then at lunch, after K-Ron and MA get their food substitutes: chocolate Popsicles instead of the mac-and-cheese, broccoli and fruit salad. In fact, MA has to stop K-Ron from buying TWO Popsicles because…DAWN WOULDN’T LIKE IT?
SERIOUSLY, WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT THAT TWAT THINKS?! I DID THE SAME THING IN HIGH SCHOOL IF THE LUNCH WAS BAD; I GOT SODA AND CANDY INSTEAD! IT’S MY HEALTH/TEETH/BODY, NOT THIS BLONDE NIMROD’S! I DON’T CARE IF THE SIGHT OF MY BINGING ON JUNK HURTS HER PRECIOUS EYES!
Anyway, they get to the point of the meeting; the fact that K-Ron’s flyer plan worked and now everyone’s calling for a sitter! And apparently, these people have no fucking clue how to read a goddamn flyer carefully because they’re calling at all hours. Some asshole even called Claudia at SEVEN-THIRTY IN THE FUCKING MORNING AS SHE WAS GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL! WHO THE FUCK NEEDS TO CALL AT THAT TIME?! I KNOW WE ALL SNARK PEOPLE HAVING TO WAIT UNTIL MEETING DAYS TO CALL, BUT CALLING AT ALL-HOURS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I BET IT WAS THAT BITCH MRS. NEWTON OR EVEN MAMA PIKE! LORD KNOWS THOSE TWO TWATS CAN’T EVEN BEAR TO GO POTTY WITHOUT CALLING A SITTER! FUCKING HELL!
AND IT’S ALL NEW CLIENTS, WHO WE PROBABLY WILL NEVER HEAR OF AGAIN! UNLESS A BOOK CALLS FOR IT, THEN THEY’LL SAY THE GIRLS HAVE BEEN SITTING FOR THEM ALL ALONG!
So now Claudia’s freaking the fuck out and has no idea what to do. Um…YOU’RE ALREADY DOING IT! YOU CALLED THE MEETING, ASSIGN THE FUCKING JOBS! AND GET THIS SHIT YOU GUYS, EVEN THOUGH SCHOOL’S ONLY BEEN IN SESSION A WEEK OR TWO AT MOST…BITCH IS ALREADY BEHIND IN CLASS!
I GUESS!
Whatever, so bitch is tweaking out all the crap she gotta do between school, art and the Cult and the girls calm her down and then arrange all the jobs. We get a mention of the Phantom Phone Caller book and how Alan was using it to get info out to torture K-Ron and Claudia; and I barely remember that book, it’s been so long since I read it. The girls get the job crap out of the way, with the two stylish ones having to miss/skip/re-arrange their schedules and REALLY? WHY NOT JUST TELL THE PARENTS THEY CAN’T TAKE THE FUCKING JOBS? K-RON’S PIMP HAND MUST BE FUCKING FIERCE, YOU GUYS!
After that shit is done, MA basically says that she thinks K-Ron was A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT for doing even more flyers/ads when the Cult was already busy as shit; which makes K-Ron get all bitchy that she needed to mind control the kids in her own goddamn neighborhood, thank you very much! Or something like that, I may have paraphrased a bit. The upshot is, everyone thinks (too late), that it was a dumb idea to give out flyers at the PTA meeting and now they’re up shit’s creek without a fucking paddle. WHATEVER SHALL THEY DO….
CUE THE MUSIC!
Click to viewLOOK EVERYONE! IT’S LOGAN!
WHO IS SO GROWING UP TO BE THIS GUY:
CALLING IT NOW!
Logan rolls up and claims that he’s babysit a fuckton and now MA’s like this:
But in her own head of course. Now the sitters are all on his ass to come sit with them, which makes all the guys he was sitting with act like the girls invited him to be the new Cult gimp or something!
When we all know Pete’s already their bitch!
They all introduce themselves, with MA getting jealous that Logan and Stacey know each other already. Can’t say I blame her there at all; Stacey’s a slut. K-Ron tells him how the Cult works, leaving out the parts about the laced Kool-Aid and floggers; and asks him about is experience, leading us to find out about his siblings.
The chapter ends with K-Ron inviting him to the next Cult meeting and Logan going back to his table, being praised for chilling with girls. And MA about creams her panties with the thought of Logan coming to the meeting.
Chapter 5:
Meeting time comes and MA basically runs all the way from her sitting job to make herself pretty for Logan before she heads over. She brushes her hair, puts on a new shirt and vest, and some jewelry; a bracelet and some earrings… WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!
SINCE WHEN HAS MA HAD FUCKING PIERCED EARS?! SHE NEVER DID IN THESE BOOKS! FOR FUCK’S SAKE PEOPLE, PUT DOWN THE PIPE AND DO YOUR GODDAMN JOBS!
All pretty-ed up, she runs to Claudia’s, where everyone is already and they just talking about Logan and his cuteness. Claudia notices MA’s all gussied up and Stacey’s all ‘It’s for Logan, right?’ and I’m imagining MA like this right now:
But before we can get into that shit, Logan shows up and MA does a quick check around the room, making sure none of Claudia’s nasty drawers are on display, shoves the poor rag doll that always to be abused in these books under the bed and clears a spot next to her for Logan to sit. Probably has the ‘BITCH, DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO TAKE HIM; HE’S MINE’ eyes on too! Logan comes up and sits next to her and one by one the sitters all tell him about the Cult. But Logan only has eyes for our MA; and the poor thing can barely put two words together. Been there.
A call comes in and MA drops the book a few times before she can actually take the job and I feel bad for her, although it did happen to Baby in Dirty Dancing and she got Patrick Swayze; so this may end well. More jobs come in and then Claudia starts to tell a story involving their gimp Pete snapping a *whispers* bra strap!
SHE ALMOST SAID BRA STRAP IN FRONT OF A BOY! Oh, if only you guys knew Logan wasn’t until that.
This leads to Logan starting to tell a story about some kid he say for and the potty; but then realizes that the story can’t be finished in front of girls. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHY CAN’T HE SAY, IS IT WORSE THAN THE KID SHITTING ON THE FLOOR OR SOMETHING?
Logan and Claudia leave to get some drinks and the others talk about how embarrassed they are to have a boy there. I get that that would be weird. But considering its Logan and we all know he grows up to be Jack from Will and Grace, I don’t think he would mind so much. Anyway, the two come back and the call comes in to sit for Jackie, making his first appearance. It’s decided that Logan will take the job and that MA will go with him to make sure it goes okay.
The chapter ends with MA clutching her damn pearls, nervous about the sitting job!
Chapter 6:
At the job, Jackie acts like a normal little boy; meaning this will give those Cult bitches cause to fuck with him by calling him a Walking Disaster. FUCKING HELL, WHAT IS THEIR BEEF WITH THIS KID? JACKIE’S FUCKING AWESOME, I RATHER SIT FOR HIM THAN KAREN’S ANNOYING ASS!
Logan does pretty well, helping Jackie fix the shower curtain rod when the kid breaks it, roughhousing with the kid and even buttering his hand out of a jar holding a grasshopper; which is the cover of the book. Nothing’s mentioned about exactly WHY Jackie was eye-fucking the shit out of Logan, but whatever. Maybe Logan had candy in his pocket or something, I dunno.
At the end of the job, Jackie ends up knocking MA into Logan’s arms so we get that meet-cute BULLSHIT and the chapter ends with Logan telling her she has a nice smile.
That’s all for now guys, more will be up soon! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon!